Looks like I've put my foot in it!

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Looks like I've put my foot in it!

114 posts & 62 voices | Started 6 months ago by bigsi | Latest reply from djaustin

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bigsi - Member

I've just told the girlfriend that i think she drinks too much & it didn't go down well

Don't get me wrong, I'm no saint & enjoy a beer but this is limited to 3 or 4 evenings a week and only normally 2 or 3 at most, unless I'm going out which tends to happen once a month. However, she can polish off a bottle of wine on a school night & averages 3-4 bottles a week.

Not sure if I'm being unreasonable or not to be honest but now shes not talking to me

Think I'll be sleep in the spare room tonight

Posted 6 months ago #
atlaz - Member

At least you've told her. Best policy; how she chooses to deal with that is a bit out of your control

Posted 6 months ago #
cruzheckler - Member

is she a minor? if not - then wrong to tell her imo

Posted 6 months ago #
JoB - Member

i think YOU drink too much, how does that make you feel?

Posted 6 months ago #
Rickos - Member

So you have 2 or 3 beers 3 or 4 times a week? As in 6 to 12 pints a week?

Posted 6 months ago #
don simon - Member

i think YOU drink too much,

+1, why do you need this crutch? And why do you think you can comment another person's drinking?

Posted 6 months ago #
jon1973 - Member

is she a minor? if not - then wrong to tell her imo

dunno, if you have a fiend or partner who you think might have a drink problem, it could be the first step to getting it sorted out. Nobody likes to hear it, but if you're that offended by it then it probably means you do have a bit of a problem. Difficult situation though.

Posted 6 months ago #
sc-xc - Member

If a bottle of wine a night is excessive, nearly everyone I know drinks too much.

Posted 6 months ago #
uplink - Member

if you're both happy with what you drink, just get on with it

Posted 6 months ago #
deadlydarcy - Member

Jeezus, if I drank a bottle of wine a night, I'd be a right state by the end of the week!

Posted 6 months ago #
esselgruntfuttock - Member

3 or 4 bottles a week!
Fu**ing lightweight.

Posted 6 months ago #
grantway - Member

Think you both have a drink problem

Posted 6 months ago #
TandemJeremy - Member

However, she can polish off a bottle of wine on a school night & averages 3-4 bottles a week.

thats not a huge amount and not significantly more than you 9 -12 beers a week - 18 -24 units ( depending on size and strength) ( and of course we always overestimate others consumption and underestimate our own)
3 bottles of wine - 27 units

so yes - she drinks a fair amount but is still having alcohol free days and plenty of them - is it affecting her in other ways?

he who is without sin cast the first stone

Posted 6 months ago #
Drac - Moderator

I'll take a different view. Up until I was about 30 I drank well lets say more than your GF, a lot more. I had for a about 12 years or more. It wasn't healthy but I never really suffered and it was good times. I've a young family now so stopped not reduce pretty much stopped. I still have a serious binge now and then on meet ups with friends. If your young then think but what your doing as it's not good for you but enjoy yourselves it's your life.

Should you have mentioned it, yes of course she's your loved one and you were concerned but it's something no one likes to hear hence her reaction.

Posted 6 months ago #
TandemJeremy - Member

recommended safe limits - a bit arbitrary but
http://www.patient.co.uk/health/Recommended-Safe-Limits-of-Alcohol.htm

Posted 6 months ago #
althepal - Member

The OPs consumption sounds a bit excessive but four Or five bottles of wine a week is hardcore!
But also prob low for some of the folk I meet at my work!
Although prob not as classy stuff maybe..

Posted 6 months ago #
Drac - Moderator

I upset Occy Health when they came around with those figures, I'm not sure they believed me thought I was winding them up when I asked if it was daily.

Posted 6 months ago #
Raindog - Member

The thing is that even if she "forgives" your comment today, this will come back to haunt you later on. It may be five years, it may be fifteen, but you are going to pay for this....

Posted 6 months ago #
uplink - Member

I went to the 'well man' clinic a few weeks back and declared my Saturday night consumption of 6 x 500ml of German beer ~5%

I'm hardcore drinker apparently

Posted 6 months ago #
aracer - Member

Maybe you should have told this chap he had a drinking problem. I'm sure he'd have been a lot better if he hadn't been drinking 3-4 bottles of wine a week.

Posted 6 months ago #
Gary_M - Member

I've just told the girlfriend that i think she drinks too much

Don't get me wrong, I'm no saint & enjoy a beer but this is limited to 3 or 4 evenings a week and only normally 2 or 3 at most, unless I'm going out which tends to happen once a month. However, she can polish off a bottle of wine on a school night & averages 3-4 bottles a week.

Pot/kettle scenario. 3-4 beer, 3-4 times a week is quite a lot. Perhaps you should have said 'I think we drink a bit too much, why don't we try to cut back'. Someone that drinks as much as you telling someone else they drink to much is ridiculous.

four Or five bottles of wine a week is hardcore!

Well done on the sensationalist posting, the op said 3-4 average.

Posted 6 months ago #
nealglover - Member

Makes me laugh that someone who drinks between 6 and 12 beers a week (2-3 beers 3-4 nights a week) is being told they drink too much !
.
And that they have no right commenting on their partner drinking 4-5 bottles of wine a week !!
.
He are having 12-24 units a week.
She is having 27-36 a week
.
She is waaaaaaay over what's recommended for a woman (14 to 21 units a week)
He is well inside what's recommended for a man (21 to 28 units a week)
.
You did the right thing mate.
She does drunk too much.
(you may want to cut down too, but according to what's recommended as safe, your ok.)
.

barrym » .....Pot/kettle scenario. 3-4 beer, 3-4 times a week is quite a lot. ...

.
Well done to you too on the sensationalist posting. The OP said 2-3 beers, 3-4 times a week.

Posted 6 months ago #
lucien - Member

Wait 'till she's had quite a bit to drink (ie the "normal" amount), goes to bed and then just sneak in from the spare room, if you know what I mean

Posted 6 months ago #
hels - Member

I say well done to the OP for being prepared to confront what sounds to me like a drinking problem.

A bottle of wine for a female is drunk, not a glass or two to relax, enjoy with your dinner. And 3-4 times a week ?? Thats getting drunk one night then staying off the next to cure the hangover, then getting drunk the next night etc etc.

Trying to be helpful so apologies if it sounds sanctimonious, but you are right to address this.

Posted 6 months ago #
project - Member

do you both drive to work in the morning as you may well both stil be over the limit, and the police usually breathalyse in any road collision or they do round here.

Perhaps instead of drinkinfg so much learn the art of conversation, and as above, SHE WILL NEVER FORGET OR FORGIVE.

Posted 6 months ago #
curvature - Member

How come we are only being told these sorts of guidelines when 20 years ago it was never mentioned.

I enjoy a beer and typing this with a nice class of red to my side.

What the OP never mentioned is whether hi GF turns into a nutter when she has a drink?

To me that is the bigger problem these days, you only have to see some of those TV shows of Paramedics and the Police on duty on a weekend in a city centre.

Posted 6 months ago #
wallop - Member

A bottle of wine for a female is drunk

That is a very sweeping generalisation - all women are not the same.

I am not a big drinker, but I can put a bottle of wine away and not be "drunk", as you are implying. Sure, I wouldn't get behind the wheel of a car, but I wouldn't call myself drunk.

Posted 6 months ago #
scotia - Member

wow - personally i think you both drink too much but thats mho..

i couldnt do that, that is for sure.

Posted 6 months ago #
Gary_M - Member

My post was trying to show the op that he took completely the wrong approach. I can understand his partners reaction given that he also drinks a few beers too.

Posted 6 months ago #
Drac - Moderator

Perhaps instead of drinkinfg so much learn the art of conversation

Ah yes because no one can have a conversation if they're drink alcohol.

Posted 6 months ago #
emsz - Member

wallop, really?

blimey I don't think I could stay upright after a bottle of wine, and I drunk quite a bit, but as you say, everyone's different. Still if your worried about your gf's drinking bigsi, then you should feel like you can say something to her about it without it starting an argument.

Posted 6 months ago #
themountaingoat - Member

Cor blimey the OP and his GF are hardly Oliver Reed et al . I dont think drinking two Beers after work makes you over the limit the following morning . I could well be wrong...

Posted 6 months ago #
project - Member

Perhaps instead of drinkinfg so much learn the art of conversation

Ah yes because no one can have a conversation if they're drink alcohol.

Probably not one that is relevant to the sub drinking alchol, telling someone not to drink while drinking is going to make no sence.

Posted 6 months ago #
wallop - Member

wallop, really?

Yeah - it's not something I make a habit out of though! These days a glass is enough. Our household wine consumption has dropped of late. Only two empty wine bottles in tomorrow's recycling (between two of us). I wouldn't feel particularly leathered after a bottle of wine, but I would feel pretty fuzzy the next morning and my weekends are too precious for that these days.

Back to the OP - the fact that the girlfriend has reacted badly to his suggestion, makes me think he has hit a raw nerve - she probably feels herself that she should tone it down a bit.

Posted 6 months ago #
Drac - Moderator

Probably not one that is relevant to the sub drinking alchol, telling someone not to drink while drinking is going to make no sence.

He didn't say to stop just that she was driving too much.

Posted 6 months ago #