Hmmm… before you hand yourself in to the polis, just check that it isn’t one of these..
Russin Vine (Fallopia baldschuanica) not Japanese Knotweed (Fallopia japonica), is closely related and looks similar, but Russian Vine is very common, grows like mad (also know as ‘Mile a minute’) and is perfectly legal to plant, grow and sell. The leaves on Russian Vine grow in pairs (or threes) from the stem as you describe. More info here
Or Bindweed, which also has similar leaves and grows in the same way, but has pretty white flowers instead of the long tails of tiny flowers that the two vines above have. More info here
Hope that helps…