Getting no where with google on this… (as I don't need to recover the media from the phone, which every google search is about – though there a neat util call sharepod which would allow you to do this)

My computer hdd died, taking my itune libraries with it, but I have all the music on another drive so no problem on that front.
I've connected the iphone to a new computer with a fresh install of itunes and it see's the phone and it's contents, but won't let me add to it or even delete from it, as everything on the phone is greyed out…

Can anyone help? As it's drving me mad

Do you usually manually manage the music on the iPhone? If so maybe you have the sync button checked as if it is all your music on the iphone will be greyed out.

no idea, go to the genius bar at your nearest apple store,

Maybe try authorising your PC.

Select Store from the menu, then Authorize Computer.

Have you had the message about your phone being synched with a different library? Next step is to restart the phone having disconnected from the computer and then reconnect it. Still no good, carry out a phone restore and start again.
Out of interest why use google when there is adequate support on the Apple UK website and you have no media to lose?

"why use google?" because it come up with answers from various source that may not be along the line of an 'offical approved' apple response.

anyways El Presidente! has pointed me in the right direction, as I didn't have any of those option selected, by selecting "manually manage my music", it gave me the option to delete the phone contents, now done and re-loading stuff back on.
Cheers dude.