Watching the start of Celeb BB last night got me thinking about the reality tv shows I’d want to watch….

Celeb Ka-boom – A bunch of celebs are taken to afghanistan, given no training & compete to disarm IED’s. The winner is the viewing public as they blow up one by one.

Celebs in Space – A bunch of celebs are launched into space, inside a shuttle is optional. We watch the trails & tribulations of how people would survive in space, with any luck they’ll get sucked into the sun & all finally become a star….

Big Hitter- Big Brother in a two men enter, one man leaves kind of way.

Celebrity Scummer. A group of the most objectionable celebs are glued into S**th*mpt*n shirts and abandoned deep in Portsea Island. The winner is the one to make it out alive…

…if they make it out alive…

lol Don, I was about to say – Big Hitters in a small room, drop in a piece of paper with a controversial topic to discuss.Then drop in pillows and handbags. Watch the carnage..

Kerry’s Westminster Minge Binge Survive-athon.

A number of senior tory politicians have to take it in turns to live with Kerry Katona for a week.

They have to match her drink for drink, and line for line, in Warrington town centre pubs on a succession of mental alcopop fuelled nights out. during which they must cope with her violent, drug-induced, physchotic mood swings, while submitting to her unreasonable sexual demands.

Interspersed with fights with ex boyfriends outside kebab houses, threesomes with a scouse bird called Sharone and ingesting industrial quantities of methadrone while the bailiffs repossess the furniture

Pro Celebrity Boxing.

David Haye versus Fearne Cotton is one I would pay to watch. But I think Brian Blessed could give Amir Khan a right good spanking.

A big brother type programme, big opening show, massive cheering hordes of sheep. Send em in then film none of it for 12 weeks.

Film the bit where you let them out and tell them to stop being attention whores

^

This.
Definitely.

billysuggers suggestion is actually a work of genius.

Like the time they duped all those folk who thought they’d been in space when they’d been in a container in essex somewhere.

Inner City Sumo.

Get some fat scuffers of an estate to scrap behind the bins at the local flat roofed pub.

Semi-serious one here…

I’m a Celebrity Charity Special with Ant and Dec in the jungle doing the Bushtucker Trails and the winner gets the prize money donated to the charity of their choice.

Pro Celebrity Boxing.

I think Peter Cook proposed that one many years ago.
How about Celebrity Workout – assorted footballers, TV personalities, models and politicians have to get a real job and live on the wages. For the rest of their lives.

Line up all the Celeb’s and get an audience to spray them in pink dye.

This will them allow me to spot a Celeb, cos’ I don’t really know who is one and who isn’t.

Minge Binge

😯

I don’t think you can say that on a Family Forum.

Can you say that on a Family Forum?

I don’t think you can…

take all the people who apply to go on Big Brother and put them inside a walled up former prison compound with TV cameras everywhere.
leave them there.

Inner City Sumo.

Get some fat scuffers of an estate to scrap behind the bins at the local flat roofed pub.

How about; get some arsey Little Englanders off STW, to walk into a pub in a ‘rough’ part of town, and loudly announce some of the prejudicial guff they spout freely on here, see how long they last, in a All New Total Wipeout kind of way.

Keyboard Warriors’ Total Wipeout.

I’d pay good money to watch that….

In fact, I can even arrange for a pilot of that to be made. TSY; I assume I can sign you up?

Wannabe/Washed Up Celebrities On An Abandoned Oil Rig Full Of Tigers

The format is as the title suggests.

Watch the cast of Hollyoaks and John McCririck decide whether to chance it with the carnivorous cats or jump to their deaths in the middle of the North Sea. As one celeb bites the dust another is lowered in from a helicopter along with another tiger. And some scorpions.

rape an ape

billysugger – Member

splendid !, though I’ve often thought that a lottery-type competition to win 1 shot from a nearby rooftop as each losing contestant comes out could raise valuable revenue. Any way we can combine the two ?

Whilst I like the idea of the above (oil-rig based death), I should point out that tigers are endangered whilst Z – B-list celebs are not. The sheer number of bad meals that said “celebs” would make for the big cats would not be good for their long term survival.

Will no one think of teh kittehs????

A mate of mine wanted to visit all the pubs you see in Britains hardest pubs etc, & order himself one glass of Rosé wine & queitly drink it at the bar to see what might happen…

Britain’s Got Rabies.

Infect them.

Make them sing.

Winner gets the antidote.

Judges – Vinnie Jones, Camilla Parker Pens and Hitler.

Pro Celebrity Napalm Strike (get the z-list scum into a compound, two members of the public play online to line up a napalm hit ala Apocalyse Now)
Death By Spray Tan (does what it says on the can)
Is It Safe (where their capped teeth are extracted blindfolded lepers)
Medieval Torture Research Appeal (a night of fundraising watching celebrities torn asunder by a baying mob or wags slammed inside the Iron Maiden, presented by Lemmy.

Pro Celebrity Napalm Strike (get the z-list scum into a compound, two members of the public play online to line up a napalm hit ala Apocalyse Now)
Death By Spray Tan (does what it says on the can)
Is It Safe (where their capped teeth are extracted blindfolded lepers)
Medieval Torture Research Appeal (a night of fundraising watching celebrities torn asunder by a baying mob or wags slammed inside the Iron Maiden, presented by Lemmy.

z lister crusing off the coast of Somarlia..
That it just stick em on a boat some where in the Indian Ocean, let the pirats do the rest.

Celebrity 10 pin sledging

Get 10 celebrities to stand at the bottom of a big snow covered hill then get ordinary people to donate money to charity to sledge down the hill and try and wipe as many of the celebrities out as they can. The donation gets doubled if they get a strike.