Seen Joseph and his Techie Coloured Dream Coat (because I lost my ticket in a bar when I was about to see Jason Donovan in it) Seen Braking Bad (but only part of the first series) Eaten Venison Had sex in a Car
Voted labour
Ridden an Orange 5
Joined the Mile High Club Flown first class
Been on a Blind Date
Driven a Jaguar
Been to a Strip Club
Owned an Omega Seamaster
|To be honest, I don’t think my life is emptier for the others. I have seen The Sound Of Music though. It’s not a bad thing for kids to watch.
Never been ashamed to enjoy eating at Nando’s… why so much hate??
Never ridden a FS
Never had a job which is less than an hours commute each way
Never punched anyone in the face
Never been punched by someone in the face.
Sang God Save our Gracious Queen, blah, blah our blah blah Queen..
Been to Denmark
Nicked birds eggs from a nest
Been able to grow a full beard
Shaved my armpits
Said sorry when I didn’t mean it
Said “thank you” after sex
Held another Mans willy
I have never…
-shown my scrotum to a nun in a Nissan Micra
-jumped out of a 10 storey window wearing a Spiderman outfit
-run through Debenhams shouting “MY NAME IS PLIMSOLE”
I’ve never been drunk. I’ve had a beer or glass of wine and I do enjoy trying them but never had enough to experience being drunk or anything close to being drunk.
I have never –
Watched James Cameron’s Titanic
Drunk real ale without looking as though I’ve just been punched in the guts
Ridden a full-sus
Or a 29er
Had the BB or headset out of my ’96 Orange C16 (although frankly they feel like they might be due a spot of grease)