Seeing as most topics are covered here, i thought well why not!

Yesterday i hit the point of no return and walked out of work, really got to the point where i was about to explode so i just threw my work badge/id at the security desk and walked out. I went back after 30mins but that resulted in a bollocking from my senior manager, yesterday she even got to the point of trying to suspend me for leaving the building, until i informed her it was my lunch break and why wasn't i allowed to leave as i wasn't currently in charge of the store. After that she suggested i just went home early which i replied ive got a job to do, its got to the point where i don't trust her and can't talk to her at all, which lead to more shoeing!!

Work has been tough lately, change in depts, senior manager never talks to me unless its a shoeing which generally happens as im walking from the staff reception to the locker at the start of every shift, and then progressively throughout the day more shoeing, but never has time for a constructive conversation.

Normally biking helps, but as im spending more and more time at work trying to sort out the issues leaves me less time for biking. Sunday is normally a day i go but im just too worn out to go today and been like it the last few weeks!

Any idea's??

Try not to be so bothered about your job, it's just a job, a way to earn some money, when someone is ranting on about something, just think of something else until they are finished.

Or look for another job. I know thats easier said than done but is a job worth your health?

keep an eye out for other jobs and just turn up for the money for now
my GF had a similar boss until Friday when she got a job elsewhere, almost everyone at her last job is looking for another job – the boss will learn when they have to retrain staff every 2 months

Currently, one of my peer managers is off with serious stress issues, one left the store, another who i work closely with is at breaking point, and then im not far behind him. Other managers have left leaving a very weak management team in the store causing a lot of issues. One of my friends outside of work suggested i had retail burnout, and should just bail out all together and do something completely different, but in the current climate how do you find something which pays more than 20k which is different from retail, with should i add very few useful skills!

One thing which annoys me is my staff say im great to work for, yet she seems to think im making the whole atmos on my dept low! its all my fault apparently!

From your post alone it would appear your being criticized for some reason whether this is fair you feel it is not. Criticism is good if we weren't criticized we would have no room to improve.

How you should address it, be calm very calm. Take a pause before replying to the criticism this gives you time to form a good answer and gives the feeling you are in charge. Its very hard to do as you want and are used to snapping back.

Secondly do as they ask if they say for example stack the coloured shirts in alphabetical order but you know they look and sell better in a different order, do as they say that way you can only be asked to change it. They can only blame themselves for the reduced sales and you win.

Try not to be so bothered about your job, it's just a job, a way to earn some money, when someone is ranting on about something, just think of something else until they are finished.

Glad im not the only one that thinks like that 🙂

Just do what is required, remember you working for a pay cheague nothing else. It's not your business so who cares.

Ride more, work less. Within reason of course!

Unless you are working for yourself then there is no point in stressing.

Unless you are working for yourself then there is no point in stressing.

+1

A lot of managers don't seem to know how to manage people. You are obviously sensitive to this. It would be easy to say you should communicate more, but then I have tried this in the past with my bosses and they usually say they are too busy, or just ridicule what are just intelligent suggestions etc. It's all too easy for people who are senior to you to pull rank and frankly, if things aren't causing THEM a problem, they don't give a sxxt!

My advice would be, if you are a person who cares about things, is to stand your ground and calmly argue your case. Your bosses, if they are worth working for, will listen and in the end they will respect you for giving a damn. However most people don't care and don't make a case. They simply put up and shut up during work hours and allow themselves to be bullied. Some managers like this because it gives them a sense of importance and power. They come to expect total compliance, but this is to their detriment because they are shutting staff out from giving valuable input. They are also stifling creativity and relieving their staff of any feeling of responsibility. They will always have a struggle on thier hands and will miss many opportunities.

My advice on stress relief is to ride your bike and then rant on here. It works for me! 😆

You cant do anything about the attitude of the people you work with, all you can try and do is chanel your thoughts somewhere else, just think that at the end of each day your going home to a hardcode ride or something else you enjoy. Taking your stress out on the bike, you'll either become a fitter/faster/better rider or die trying! either way your work wont be bothering you anymore!

If you are a line of work where there are other jobs to move to then I suggest you start looking for another job. The mere act of taking this decision and starting a job search will reduce your stress as you'll be taking control of your situation instead of having shit dumped on you and passively taking it.

Unless you are working for yourself then there is no point in stressing.

Even if you are working for yourself there's little point in stressing.

Check your sick policy at work – what are you entitled to if you needed to take time out?

If you're entitled to say, 6 months off work through stress, go to the dr's and explain stuff to them. Take your time out and get yourself back on track.

Could you ride to/from work? this helped me a huge amount when I worked for a company a few years ago – racing to work, all those endorphins & dopamine help with a wry view on the way you spend your day, you'll notice your going faster, you arrive in a much better mood and, as was in my case, can spend the day doing your stuff and laughing at the fatties who are in a bad-mood 😉

sorry to hear it's a bit sh*t though, hopefully you'll sort it out sooner rather than later.

Could you keep a diary of these instances? then if it all goes t*ts up, you may well have a case of unfair dismissal?
jt

I find a great way of relieving stress is to mug pensioners.

Do your job properly so nobody can knit pick.

Record the conversations?

Learn to switch off or write things down as they talk-that'll stun them. Don't be a psuh over.

I just got screamed at by some nutter in Tesco-stunned me as I asked a question, but hey just ignore them.

If you have to think about it at home-you're not busy enough at home or not doing enough away from work to switch off.

SMILE! 😆

Or get loads of sex. 8)

just start looking mate and stick it out in the meantime.

ive ranted on here for years about my job, family run business, only loyalty is making me stay when the place is utter un-managed madness, the only reason we are surviving is name alone and we make very bespoke bits n bobs and 'thankfully' there is more work out there than people who can make the stuff.

but after 6 years i have finally cracked, i have a master plan, im looking at a total career change and have made steps to make myself more employable when the next intake comes along in the field which hopefully will be very soon. its a log shot but getting off your arse and making small steps is a start!

also im looking at a play B if the above doesnt work out 😉

the plans are the only thing keeping me going, i really have tried the "dont stress about it, work to live not live to work" but it is easier said than done.

i also set myself a target to be doing something i like work wise before im 40, i have 6 years left to achieve that, and i will!

best of luck

oh.. +2

Unless you are working for yourself then there is no point in stressing.

Get signed off with stress, get paid , get another job while you're off.

violence……….. 😉

I got a lot of helpful stuff from people on here about work related stress. It's not something that can be cured by a bit of time off as when your return date gets closers, you start getting stressed again. Time off is useful if something is ging to change when you get back. Is it a big enough company to have a HR dept? I found the best thing I did was go to my boss and tell him I was feeling stressed and my work was suffering. Turns out, he was about to have a conversation with me about my drop in performance. By getting in there first, it gave me control of the situation. If it looks like they're not going to be helpful in this, start recording everything, you may need it if they try to "manage you out". I can't remember the numbers right now but the number of people who manage people and have no training in people management is frightening.

Only you know your own circumstances but if it's appropriate, remember, it's only a job. Lots of people I spoke to told me they felt pushed out of a job because of this sort of thing but ended up on something much better. Also remember that if it's getting you down, you're not going to have a very realistic view of what's going on. Impartial advice is important for this sort of thing, just to keep you in touch with reality.

Good luck.

As for dealing with stress, ask yourself what is it about the job that causes you to feel like this and then, if you can, find something else in life that fills the gaps. For me, I'm lacking mental challenge at work so I work my brain on other things. That thread the other week about imaginary number for someones homework. I solved that problem just for fun! Wife thought I was nuts.

sofatester – Member

>Try not to be so bothered about your job, it's just a job, a way to
>earn some money, when someone is ranting on about something, just
>think of something else until they are finished.

Glad im not the only one that thinks like that

Just do what is required, remember you working for a pay cheague nothing else. It's not your business so who cares.

Ride more, work less. Within reason of course!

+1

LMT, evr thought your boss may be suffering from stress as well, she will be paid more and probably owes more on a mortgage and credit card than you, and as we all know shops are failing faster than a chav in a secondary school.

or you could get a sindy doll put a picture of your boss on the face and stick pins into it.

Thanks for the replies certainly given me food for thought, as for the shop failing "project" no chance of that, its one of the biggest chains of supermarket in the country, i rather stupidly stayed there after uni and worked my way up and now 11 years later im still there thinking the last few days why didn't i follow my dream!!

As for the pin thing i did one better, she left her going home shoes in the office, i may of slipped a security tag under the insole, so funny watching the barriers go off as she walked out and security searching her! brightened my day!

You dont have an effective working relationship with your boss. This is very stressful so try to get one. Or discuss with your personnel people who can mediate

Dont get mad with her get even, its a great stress buster, and is great fun thinking of new ways how to get even.

Oh and never forget anything no matter how trivial, women make an occupation of it.

Badly.

I don't, I'm a certifiable nut-job, wish it was work though…

On a more constructive note, it might well be a good idea to take a step back (either yourself or via somebody you trust) and go back with constructive ways of moving forward. When you are in a situation that is causing you grief you can often be blind to the simplest of fixes.

Beyond that, you are on your own, but then if you weren't you wouldn't have posted on here….

All the best though 😀

You dont have an effective working relationship with your boss. This is very stressful so try to get one. Or discuss with your personnel people who can mediate

Your right we don't but we used to have a very good one, until i had a biking accident, had some time off, only a week but struggled with concussion for a few weeks after, memory loss, daft mistakes etc.. but that cleared after a few weeks. Doc's gave me the all clear about a month after the accident, but every chance she has she throws it back at me, her favourite quote on the odd occasion we discuss my job role is "your not the same person since your accident" when everyone else tells me im no different to what i was before.

Record everything in a diary and get a baseline check of your stress levels carried out now. If the boss is under stress she lay act irrationally and you will take the fall if she can make it happen. Cover your backside and don't be afraid to get signed of sick with work-place stress. (This is covered by Health and Safety at Work etc. Act and should be managed like any other risk).

I work a *lot* of hours every week. Roughly once a month I'll just tell everyone to stick it when they want me to work the weekends and have one off. I'm not contracted to work more than my basic so I can't be sacked for it. Just the act of saying 'no' is a great stress reliver, it feels fantastic!

I'll always choose a weekend when I'm not on call (technically I'm always on call as I'm the senior support engineer but as far as i'm concerned if I'm not getting paid for it they'll get me how I answer the phone). Then I'll spend the entire weekend either drinking, riding my bike, sleeping or messing about doing crap I want to.

As a stress reliever it works really well. I've just had one and it wasn't brilliant but it was better than working.

I carry stress with me everyday. Usually the only day I don't feel it, is a Saturday. It kicks in about Sunday lunchtime. But it's just all linked to my depression, it's how my mind has been working for a few years now, it's a vicious circle. Some weeks/days are better than others, but I'm sure there is another way around it. I'm in sales/retail, and would love to find something completely new which pays more or equal too what I earn now.

Being in the same desk job now for 8 years I think has had a bad effect on me tbh.

Understand that many people in management positions are not professionally trained and qualified in what they do. There is a wierd myth that effective management/leadership, because it's a soft-skill, is inborn – it isn't.
Like all skills it requires education and training. She sounds like a lot of bosses – they think they are effective because, during the good times, things tick along OK. The test of a truly effective manager is what they achieve when the chips are down.

"your not the same person since your accident"

I think this hits the nail on the head. She should not be picking on you about your former illness – it's bullying at work and very destructive for you and your colleagues i.e. the business.

You need to confront her about this until she accepts that you have fully recovered. I would deffo do this with help from personnel. You should also ask to see you Personnel Record to ensure it accurately records what happened to you that you are well now.

Good luck, and don't give up!

Shoot everydody at work with an AK47.

Not really.

Oh, I don't know, though…

i found masturbabting to be very good against stress.

Yup, I can vouch for Juan's stress relieving technique, he's very good.

😉

I've never had a decent female manager, ever.

I dont think I could ever work for one again.

I wish I new, feeling it today!

Back to to work today, had a brief chat with our PTM, going to arrange a meeting just me and the PTM to have a friendly chat about things. But as for the devil woman as i decided to call her today, i couldn't sit in the canteen with her, made me feel ill, when i see her i felt sick in my stomach, a bit of a gag reflex. So just avoided her all day.

Not sure if that was the best idea, but i got home after work!

I still go back to my paddling days when it comes to stressfull situations (I need to get back on the water). I'm not sure it really works with biking.

Whitewater kayaking, at least the type I was doing was mostly about a mental battle against fear. The only thing stopping you running the rapid or waterfall was "the fear". If you could mentally overcome it then you were good to go. It also put me in some fairly sphincter loosening situations. When things got bad at work, it was never as bad as that time when [insert terryfying seat of your pants flooded river running situation] which I managed to overcome.

Now biking is challenging in a different way and does not involve scaring myself silly every weekend.

Stress is a normal process, it's your bodies way of getting you ready for the fight or flight. However, workplace stress is different. There is never any release so it just builds up. I would suggest that you either bike more as vigorous excersise is supposed to relieve stress. I find swimming does it for me as well. I used to swim a lot so can spend an hour knocking out lengths without noticing the time go by as I'm concentrating on the mundane like technique and breathing control. Same goes for biking on my own. I can ride for hours without even realising my mind is completely blank except for focussing on the task in hand, either focusing on the trail on a downhill or picking my way up a climb.

The ting that I find get's on top of me is when I have multiple tasks to do with complicated deadlines all of which seem important to someone. In these situations I resort ot writing a list. It stops me thinking about all the tasks and after I've prioritised I can just focus on the next one knowing I won't forget any. Found this a great way to get things off my mind if they are bugging you. Might well work with anything, write it down to stop it nagging at you?

Failing all that try Juans approach 😳