you are not alone MD in trying to find a connection. it’s just natural. mates can be all over the place, we have the modern facilities to connect. I just worry if my mates like me….

Robytson – do you feel like you are ‘punishing’ them in some weird sort of way, even though it’s really you who is being hurt by these actions?

In a weird sort of way yeh I think I am. However I do think I need to stop ‘over-thinking’ and putting thought processes onto everything. I mean I am getting better but I do cut contact and then think ‘they’ll suffer more than I will’ thinking i’m a gift to be around, when in reality i’m not.

Oh boy do i understand that mentality! 😳

Don’t beat yourself up over it. I just remind myself that we all have our flaws and it is good that we are trying to right them.

well said Robtyson!!

It’s weird but yeah, when i split with the ex i went a bit mental, to the point of tying an old bit of ratty sisal to the garage roof, tying it around my neck and jumping off the step ladder.
Of course, it snapped like i really knew it would. I felt ‘betrayed’ by those friends for some reason, maybe because they weren’t the ones who rallied around me because they were trying to be even handed or maybe because they simply didn’t know what to say to me. I pushed them away even though i valued their friendship, now i’m not sure if i ever had it…

Thanks allthegear. In a way though our hopes and desires of what we want from life radically fall short of the reality of our lives. It is good that you are talking about these things and that you want to make ammends but people are extremely hard to read sometimes and there have been times where I have gone to the extremes of cutting all contact and wanting to go on a McCandles ‘Into the Wild’ adventure with just my bike and the wilderness but we need people at the end of the day.

Hmmmm, I can understand this. At the end of the day, it takes two people to maintain a friendship and friendships do take some work. But perhaps you are being rather sensitive?

I think that when it comes to break-ups, many friends/people are terribly uncertain of protocol. Let’s face it, nobody wants to listen to someone whining about their ex in too much detail. So possibly some folk keep their distance?

Have found it quite tricky myself, coming out of a marriage and starting another life. In fact one friend, whom I have known for a very long time, actually told me that she thought I was shutting myself away from the world.

Give it a go, you’ve nothing to lose but a lot to gain. 🙂