They don't send them. They appear in the periphery of what I'm doing. It's internet marketing in its most basic sense. Look at this page for example. Full of ads informed by your own google searches.
My facebook ads contain stuff for bike films, walking shops, maps and links to other stuff. Does it bother me? No. I can ignore it.
Still not scared of facebook.
and re: updates emailed to me? I just turn them off. Simple. I pull information from FB rather than have it pushed on to me.

