At least , as the sun newspaper teaches us, when ladeeez have problems all their clothes fall off !!!!

I had a great five year relationship with a girl, we lived together and got a dog. Eventually we split up, I kept the dog, she retained rights to see the dog and we stayed on pretty good terms.

I got a new girlfriend a while later and the fact that the ex still took the dog out for walkies once in a while used to drive her nuts. I had no desire to be with the ex at all, our time had passed, but she had been a big part of my life for a while and it would be weird to edit her out of my life to satisfy the whims of someone who was quite unreasonably insecure.

For a quiet life, I eventually revoked the dog walking privileges, ruined my amicable relationship with my ex and only temporarily cheered up my new girlfriend who didn’t last much longer because her insecurities were not limited to exes.

I suppose what I am saying is that it might be you who is insecure and it would do you well to have a very serious think about whether he is really pining for her or just not editing her out of his life for your benefit. We are all made of our experiences and to ask someone to forget or hide their past denies you a lot of insight into who they might actually be.

gf used to ask about my ex ( fair enough miche was a bit of a nut job) but it did get dull v quickly, so just said “stop asking, it’s dull”

I think Kitty will discover that there’s more to life than ted…

😀 nice answer emsz.

OP either you have an issue in that you are insecure and you think he does this when he does not or he does it

I cannot help you work out which is which from such limited information

Everyone mentions an ex at some point

Torminalis and then the follow up by Junkyard.

Great posts. He went out with someone previously. If you want him to edit them out of his life, or simply tell white lies to pacify you, then you need to look at yourself. If he is obsessed with his exs then he needs to look at himself.

As Junkyard says, we can’t work it out from the limited information given.

Either way it’s not looking promising for the relationship and one of you needs to get a grip.

an ex girlfriend of mine used to do this. back in summer 1996 when we met she had just split with her boyfriend of two years. Every other word she spoke was Darryll this, Darryll that, me and Darryll… It used to drive me round the twist. After several months I started to become suspicious that they were perhaps seeing each other again, so I split. Weirdly enough they were straight back together and continued to stay that way for the next fourteen years.

At 10+ plus into our relationship we’re past the insecurities stage, so our past partners occasionally get brought up. I often tease my partner about the fact her last partner was hung like a donkey, unlike me (I don’t know this is actually true, inferred from something she said once).

Am I being silly if I get annoyed by the constant mention of ex’s with my current boyfriend? I feel like I’m always being compared & I’m starting to wonder why he wants to be with me as they were obviously far better, at everything in incomparison.

Probably not, but we both talk about exes occasionally. But then we’re both mid-30s and have had previous experience – it would be daft to assume otherwise.

But it is also just that – occasionally.

Depends on the context/way in which he brings them up. You say you feel like you’re being compared – does he explicitly compare you to his exes, like “so and so never did that” or so and so never had a problem with it….”

There’s a difference between mentioning an ex, as in “oh yeah, I went there once with Kate” or actually comparing you, as in “Kate would never have worn that”

Start a huge row about something totally random and utterly unrelated.

..and then just when it’s getting really heated, shout
“You’re just like <insert name of ex>” (make sure he knows you’re referring to an ex, not just using a random name)
That’ll make him pause just long enough for you to add
“…and he was ****ing useless in bed as well”

if you get really lucky, the look on his face will make you burst out laughing.
One way or another, i should think that’s the end of the ex-conversations

Why did he split up with his exes? Have you met any of them? I guess he made them feel unworthy of his attentions, too.

Of course, if you want real advice, you need to ask this on

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships

🙂

My last boyfriend was like that, always talking about his ex’s many of whom he was still close friends with, it didn’t bother me, I even met a couple of them who were really nice people, but it bothered me that he then tried to keep me away from them! Some men, like some women just can’t move on, if you are having doubts then it might be best to call it a day now, in my experience doubts don’t usually go away, you just end up trying to ignore them, trust your instincts on this one if its going to be a major issue you probably already know it.

There’s a difference between mentioning an ex, as in “oh yeah, I went there once with Kate” or actually comparing you, as in “Kate would never have worn that”

I don’t know about the kind of relationships you’ve had in the past, but in most cases, I’d imagining that making that latter statement would probably end up here….

Next time he mentions his ex smack him in the face with a frying pan !

tell him your preggers!

he’ll shut the fudge up then

He’s a man, and therefore has the sensitivity of a house brick. The trick is to hurl the house brick at him. i.e. In no uncertain terms, tell him to stop unnecessarily banging-on about his Xs and pay more attention to you.

shifter – Member
All mine are in Texas…

How’s the weather in Tennessee?

On the subject I’ve got a date tomorrow 😯

Bricking it!