A lack of concentration at the vending machine has just bought me a

The confectionary equivalent of Telford. I could almost defecate with disappointment.

I bought one of these at the weekend:

Sounded delicious, but tasted like easter egg chocolate dipped in a jaffa cake.

Thank god I had a Double Decker to fall back on.

Thank god I had a Double Decker to fall back on.

I had one of those last week and was also strangely disappointed. Just not what I remembered at all. Thanks god I had a Picnic to fall back on 🙂

How bizarre! I had a picnic only five minutes ago, and nearly slit my wrists with disappointment as it had slightly less raisins than I remember. Thank god I had a fat nurse to fall back on – I didn’t even get a bruise.

There’s only one true, reserve choclate bar to prop you up after a Milky Way or Bounty experience.

The Tunnock – bathed in its own celestial light

It’s the Winston Churchill of confectionery.

The king if all chocolate bars was the Maverick Bar.

I’ve been disappointed with everything since.

😥

Actually, Tunnocks wafers are fantastic.

Thank god I had a fat nurse to fall back on…..

They do love the chocolate.

I would say that the Tunnock’s was the Roy Keane of the confectionary world. Churchill was more of a Fruit and Nut.

Shame the coating on Tunnocks Wafers tastes nothing like chocolate though.

Tunnocks FTW! But not those new fangled dark chocolate imposters.

fat nurses taste of chocolate. i know this to be a legal fact.

(i’ve never tasted a fat nurse, but as a nurse i feel qualified enough to comment on the assumed flavour of my portly colleagues)

mrsconsequence is made out of cocopops, also a legal fact.

After Green and Blacks cherry all chocolate is disappointing to me now!

Tunnocks FTW! But not those new fangled dark chocolate imposters.

😯 😯

They’re doing Tunnocks in dark chocolate now???!!!???

Noooooooo!

When I were a lad, it wasn’t even proper chocolate – it was a chocolate flavoured coating 🙂

After Green and Blacks cherry all chocolate is disappointing to me now!

Heathen, I bet you like cheese with fruit in too.

I once went out with a medium sized nurse who was the Curly Whirly of the nurse world. I think.

Heathen, I bet you like cheese with fruit in too.

Spot on! that cheddar with the fruit cake in was sublime!

Seriously the sour cherrys against the bitter dark choccy……………mmmmmmmm

The king of tedious chocolate has to be

It’s just like a regular bar of chocolate only with all the taste removed. Come on, Twirl, where’s your soul, where’s your god damned passion? I know that when you wanted to grow up you wanted to be a Ripple, but sometimes we’ve got to just roll with the punches and play with the hand we’re dealt. But no, you’re content just to sit there in your insipid, yellow and purple wrapper, looking like some bastard lovechild of that Quality Street with the hazelnut in it and a peanut M&M, only with the charisma of neither. You are to chocolate as daytime TV is to high drama. You’re a sad, pathetic excuse for a chocolate bar and you should take a long, hard look at your life. Even the Yorkie bar can be made interesting by snapping off the individually lettered chunks, amending the ‘O’ into a ‘C’ with a sharp knife, and rearranging to make a Crikey bar. And, AND, it bloody well tastes of something. And it’s still JUST CHOCOLATE! What’s your goddamn excuse? I’ve had more interesting white chocolate, and that’s just all the crap that’s left over when you make chocolate but don’t put any bloody chocolate in it. Pull yourself together, you utter waste of cocoa.

It’s just like a regular bar of chocolate only with all the taste removed. Come on, Twirl, where’s your soul, where’s your god damned passion? I know that when you wanted to grow up you wanted to be a Ripple, but sometimes we’ve got to just roll with the punches and play with the hand we’re dealt. But no, you’re content just to sit there in your insipid, yellow and purple wrapper, looking like some bastard lovechild of that Quality Street with the hazelnut in it and a peanut M&M, only with the charisma of neither. You are to chocolate as daytime TV is to high drama. You’re a sad, pathetic excuse for a chocolate bar and you should take a long, hard look at your like. Even the Yorkie bar can be made interesting by snapping off the individually lettered chunks, amending the ‘O’ into a ‘C’ with a sharp knife, and rearranging to make a Crikey bar. And, AND, it bloody well tastes of something. And it’s still JUST CHOCOLATE! What’s your goddamn excuse? I’ve had more interesting white chocolate, and that’s just all the crap that’s left over when you make chocolate but don’t put any bloody chocolate in it. Pull yourself together, you utter waste of cocoa.

And it hasn’t got cherries in it

When I saw the thread title I initially assumed one of you was in America and had purchased one of the many poor quality chocolate products available in stateside confectionary establishments.

I mean, everyone talks about Hershey bars so that’s the first one I tried when I was over there. GAH! It’s like brown flour mix.

Then I decided to try something I understood like M&M’s, which of course is the same brown flour mix surrounded by peanut tasting candy. Everything tastes like peanuts!

I was glad to get home so I could have a good old gnaw on the chocolate bar of champions.

Twirls are Flakes for the anally retentive. I should know, my wife loves them but refuses flakes on the grounds of ‘too messy’. 🙄

Twirls are Flakes for the anally retentive.

I thought I’d seen them all, but I must’ve missed that Flake advert. They really pushed the boundaries, didn’t they.

That’s why the bath was blocked.

Perhaps if it had more fruit in it she wouldn’t have that problem.

That’s why the bath was blocked.

LOL

tasted like chicken, very disappointing.

As Samurai says – Wife brought me back a Hershey bar last week – wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. How can the yanks do it to themselves.

Am I alone on still insisting on calling s*****rs (can’t bring myself to type it) Marathon bars?

America does a lot of things very well. FM radio, for example, and Waffle House.

Chocolate, however, is not one of these things.

Hersheys chocolate is pants, yet their peanut butter chocolate things are mmmmmmmm………. fat nurses enjoy! 😉

Am I alone on still insisting on calling s*****rs (can’t bring myself to type it) Marathon bars?

No. I undertook a rather childish boycott of s*****rs for many, many years before another vending machine loss of concentration. Luckily the s*****rs was nowhere near as tasty or massive as I remember the Marathon being.

As far as I am concerned the s*****rs is the Marathon’s cousin, not the fit one (Whisper) but the short one with the hairy mole and the odd shaped shoulders that you would only entertain during an emergency or when nobody would find out.

Blimey – what could a lack of concentration at this vending machine buy you?

A copy of each probably…

Not sure about the peanut butter stuff either. Those reeses cup things are pretty minging. Though admittedly not as minging as Hershey kisses.

Once a month, every month we get a very nice box drop through our letterbox from http://www.chocs.co.uk/

All other chocolate tastes like processed poop afterwards

high street chocolate to me is always disappointing, tastes so dam sweet!
the only thing i can stand in Green and Blacks!

European chocolate can be nicer i find.

Wife brought me back a Hershey bar last week – wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. How can the yanks do it to themselves.

That’s what European chocolate makers say about the rubbish that the likes of Cadbury/Rowntrees/Nestle churn out in this country. It really doesn’t deserve to be called chocolate.

Oh I forgot – she also brought me back a packet of twinkies. What in the name of sweet confectionery shaped products are they?!! Admittedly they got a little squashed and appear to be leaking puss out of the side but at least I got as far as putting the Hershey in my mouth, not a chance of that happening with those yellow and white abominations.

anything cadburys nestle or rowntree gets a wide berth from me.. what exactly is that stuff..?

Took me years to get over the Marathon thingy – I still haven’t recovered from the loss of Opal Fruits. Starburst. FFS. 🙄

I find European chocolate minging, just like their crisps.