Dating tips for a middle aged man - please!

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Dating tips for a middle aged man - please!

255 posts & 74 voices | Started 8 months ago by supertramp | Latest reply from Solo

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supertramp - Member

So, I'm 45(just) and over my past relationships (only just). I have exorcised my ghosts and cleared the skeletons from various closets (mostly on here) and have put my home and possessions on the market in order to make a new start (Get in touch if you want to buy a horse).

Now then! when I were a lad dating was something the Fonz did, I'm not even sure I know what it means! I recently had an unpleasant experience where I was accused of being dishonest as I chose not to blurt out all my past relationship and sexual history in the first five minutes of the first date - was I wrong?

So folks please tell me how it all works!

Posted 8 months ago #
ernie_lynch - Member

was I wrong?

No.

Posted 8 months ago #
ciderinsport - Member

Kettle is boiling!

Good luck supertramp wouldn't want to do it

Posted 8 months ago #
user-removed - Member

Was there a relationship with the horse? I would count that as baggage.

Posted 8 months ago #
supertramp - Member

Was there a relationship with the horse? I would count that as baggage

yes, but it was purely platonicic, and the horse consented

Seriously, I am a pretty calm, gentle patient person by nature and I think this may come across as being weak or insecure? do women prefer butch aggressive types?

Posted 8 months ago #
petergriffin - Member

Does the horse come with Tack and rugs?

Posted 8 months ago #
supertramp - Member

Does the horse come with Tack and rugs?

if that's a serious question, he has tack but no rugs as he is happy outdoors in any weather.

if not, then I'm not quick enough to think of a reply

Posted 8 months ago #
petergriffin - Member

Sorry, got enough horses at the minute. Every time my other half sells a horse, even really cheap, people always ask if it comes with Tack and rugs..Good luck selling it, as they are difficult to sell at the moment!..

Posted 8 months ago #
TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsSTR - Member

It's got sod all to do with acting the right way on a date and finding the right technique to impress a woman, but everything to do with finding the right woman.

If anything you do on the first few dates, by just acting the way you feel comfortable with, pisses her off, then she ain't right for you. With the right one it will click with no effort.

Merely getting laid, now that's a different kettle of fish.....

Posted 8 months ago #
user-removed - Member

Distracted though I am by the visual treat that is 'Dante's Peak', I am still able to recall the period in my life when I went through the special Hell that is 'one-night-stands with a view to attaining a lasting relationship'.

Oh! They just drove straight through an old mine entrance to escape the pyroclastic flow! Nice move Brosnan!

At the ripe age of 45, I'd guess that similarly aged ladies are either looking for companionship interspersed with a spot of rumpy (Oh God! The roof is collapsing and they're all going to drown in lava!!) pumpy, or they're hoping to attract a macho toy boy.

How about those active weekends whereupon lots of semi-fit singletons get together under the guise of having supressed a long held desire to go kayaking at midnight, or climbing through treetops, when all they actually want is to meet other semi-fit humans of the opposite sex? Can't remember the name of the company, but try googling "semi-fit".

EDIT: actually, don't google "semi-fit". That road leads to disappointment and disillusionment.

Posted 8 months ago #
Keef - Member

'rohypnol'.........

Posted 8 months ago #
compositepro - Member

I know a very clever man who figured out that high class prostitutes ,rental cars and renting your own high bro accomodation was actually cheaper than the cost of a long term relationship, marriage, kids and buying a home.I trusted his opinion purely because he looked grey and wise and had a secret room where he did clever things.

I would think middle aged is a ver good 50% saving if you start now

however im sure high brow means something else down south as up here in yorkshire that may just mean a pigeon shed

Posted 8 months ago #
user-removed - Member

That's probably quite true, in an absolutely fiscal sense, but will it make you HAPPY?

I doubt it. I have a secret room where I convert old bikes to modern useage - that makes me quite happy....

Posted 8 months ago #
tree-magnet - Member

I chose not to blurt out all my past relationship and sexual history in the first five minutes of the first date - was I wrong?

It depends if your past relationship status is that your wife is living in a sealed room in the basement...

xckeith1 - Member
'rohypnol'.........

I think you mean 'rohypochino'. Either that or show her the knife and tell her to touch it. .

The "does this smell of chloroform?" chat up technique is also valid.

Posted 8 months ago #
user-removed - Member

Best of luck mate - be yourself and no, women over 35 don't care if you look like a model or behave like a mummys' boy - they're just keen to meet a genuine bloke IMHO.

Posted 8 months ago #
higthepig - Member

Good luck and check your flies are done up

Posted 8 months ago #
chewkw - Member

Be yourself but do try to look presentable.

Posted 8 months ago #
tree-magnet - Member

Didn't Keith Bontrager say something like "Married, Over 30, Mental. Pick two"?

Posted 8 months ago #
cynic-al - Member

STR has it imo.

If you're solvent, reasonable looking and can hold a conversation, expect a lot of keen but desperate women.

Posted 8 months ago #
oldgit - Member

Try French Ebay for the horse.

Posted 8 months ago #
emsz - Member

It's got sod all to do with acting the right way on a date and finding the right technique to impress a woman, but everything to do with finding the right woman

This

Although...dress nicely, smell nice, smile, show an interest, have manners all count.

Posted 8 months ago #
catflees - Member

"Seriously, I am a pretty calm, gentle patient person by nature and I think this may come across as being weak or insecure? do women prefer butch aggressive types?"

In my experience different women like different types of men. Horses for courses & all that - tack not included in sale

Good luck and try to see dating as fun, meet new people, all the best with your fresh start.

Posted 8 months ago #
xherbivorex - Member

It's got sod all to do with acting the right way on a date and finding the right technique to impress a woman, but everything to do with finding the right woman.

If anything you do on the first few dates, by just acting the way you feel comfortable with, pisses her off, then she ain't right for you. With the right one it will click with no effort.

this.

worked for me anyway. plus what user-removed said about the genuine bloke thing.
i think your recent experience can be chalked down to you meeting a mental; don't let it put you off going on more dates though, and don't let it change the person you are just for the sake of impressing a woman- you'll end up with the wrong one and she'll see through you eventually.
good luck and just relax and enjoy the future!

Posted 8 months ago #
rOcKeTdOg - Member

women over 35 don't care if you look like a model or behave like a mummys' boy - they're just keen to meet a genuine bloke

It's got sod all to do with acting the right way on a date and finding the right technique to impress a woman, but everything to do with finding the right woman.

If anything you do on the first few dates, by just acting the way you feel comfortable with, pisses her off, then she ain't right for you. With the right one it will click with no effort.

Merely getting laid, now that's a different kettle of fish...

]

never a truer word said on STW and matches my experience exactly (became single at 38)

Posted 8 months ago #
Rorschach - Member

I'd not be bothering again.....bacon butties,paracetemol and a tommy tank is all a bloke needs in life.

Posted 8 months ago #
TooTall - Member

Women - all mental, just to a greater or lesser degree. You just have to find the flavour of mental you can enjoy / live with.

Internet dating - if her picture shows her with her pet, probably not a good sign. With her pet on a bed, def not a good sign. With her pet and her massive collection of cuddly toys on a bed, run away.

Posted 8 months ago #
MidlandTrailquestsGraham - Member

All women are mad.
The best you can hope for is to find one who's madness is compatible with your own.

Posted 8 months ago #
yunki - Member

dating tips for middle aged men..?

Shirt unbuttoned to the navel.. chest hair complimented by large gold medallion.. some sort of facial hair with loads of cologne..

Theme from Saturday Night Fever playing in your mind (or preferably playing on your ipod with a good quality loudspeaker.. discreetly hidden of course so as not to ruin the line of your skin-tight jeans)

Big cigar.. Cuban heels.. lot's of meat at the dinner table.. you won't need many words..

Posted 8 months ago #
Edukator - Member

Surely the horse is a useful accessory. Most of the riders around here are female, and a good deal fitter and richer than average.

Failing that Internet dating on the wrong kind of site. A friend joined one following his divorce and showed me the texts he was getting as we changed after swimming. Explicit offers at a similar rate to the posting on this thread.

Posted 8 months ago #
wrecker - Member

This is an opportunity to have fun and meet some new and hopefully interesting people. Don't set your expectations too high or go looking for a wife. Chances are you'll have to go out with a lot of women before you find someone you'll want to progress with. Sounds good to me
Don't take it too seriously and enjoy yourself.

Posted 8 months ago #
yunki - Member

bacon butties,paracetemol and a tommy tank is all a bloke needs in life.

what's the difference between an egg and a Jodrell...?

you can beat an egg..

Posted 8 months ago #
Solo - Member

I'm in similar position being early 40s and having to get back onto the dating treadmill / hamster wheel.

Some good insights on this thread, esp from TAFKASTR and User_Removed.

Although...dress nicely, smell nice, smile, show an interest, have manners all count
I'd have said thats pretty much stating the obvious.

Totally agree with the activity event, pseudo chance to meet people.
Seems so contrived and false.

But my two penneth worth is how different some peoples ideas are about how its going to happen
Ranging from those who realize that they are going to have to put some time and effort in as far as actually making time to meet new people.
To those who think they don't have to do anything and that are going to happen to walk round a corner on the street, bump into a stranger and instantly fall in love.
All spontaneous like.
Funny O'le world this.

In my late teens and early 20s, IIRC, it didn't seem too difficult to meet and speak to similarly aged women and see where things went.
But now, it seems much more of a hill to climb.

Good luck to you, ST.

Posted 8 months ago #
joolsburger - Member

Plentyoffish seems to work quite well for the single chaps I know of our age. You can also use the filters to either pick a person who is looking for some no strings attached sex or those looking for something longer term. I understand that they also get regular invites to singles nights which apparently are not as horrible as they sound.

I'm sure that for every one nutter there are loads of nice people who are just taking it easy like yourself.

Posted 8 months ago #
Solo - Member

women over 35 don't care if you look like a model or behave like a mummys' boy - they're just keen to meet a genuine bloke

Where be these women ?. All the 35 plussers I've encounter are well snooty and don't seem to want to consider anyone less than Tom cruize.

dating tips for middle aged men..?

Shirt unbuttoned to the navel.. chest hair complimented by large gold medallion.. some sort of facial hair with loads of cologne..

Theme from Saturday Night Fever playing in your mind (or preferably playing on your ipod with a good quality loudspeaker.. discreetly hidden of course so as not to ruin the line of your skin-tight jeans)

Big cigar.. Cuban heels.. lot's of meat at the dinner table.. you won't need many words..

LMAO

Posted 8 months ago #
Solo - Member

You can also use the filters to either pick a person who is looking for some no strings attached sex

Posted 8 months ago #