“I’ve drilled down on the raw data, and it essentially shows that you’re s**t.” (I’ve summarised the second half) The boss used that phrase in most of our appraisals.

I’ve also had the pleasure this last couple of weeks of learning the word ‘variableize’. Sweet Jeebus.

Oh, and -ize is the original OED spelling of many words and is just as valid (in fact some, including Inspector Morse if you watch a particular episode, would argue more) valid.

I was told to ‘leverage the global matrix’ the other day.

anyway, this discussion is taking too long; can you take it offline?

Dave

Yeah, sorry Dave, we’ll park it for now, as we need to concentrate on moving forward whilst still demonstrating our core vales.

We play “corporate jargon” hangman..

Currently it’s stuck at:

c o r p o r a t e / _ a _ _ _ _

I’d venture “hive mind” as verging on the bollocksy side of things

only ever seen it here though

“We’re eating our own dogfood” always makes me smile.

“It’s a no brainer” I hate this.

“We’re eating our own dogfood” always makes me smile.

We’ve given up doing that – now we “drink our own champagne”. Presumably we used to just steal someone else’s, so I guess it’s an improvement.

Life in the voluntary sector, sorry the 3rd sector, is full of the same crap we have heard from our chums in the public & private sector.

Quick wins – Do stuff quick so it looks like we are good.
Low hanging fruit – Do the easy stuff first
Heads up – Some sort of porn instruction

I hate leveraging. it isn’t even a word.

Having worked as a consultant for many years, I take pride in calling a “problem” a “problem”. WTF does it have to be an “issue”? the only result of that is that the word issue now means problem and you can’t use it for issue any more.

Sorry, rant over

“It’s a no brainer”

Said by people who wouldn’t be able to cope if it did involve use of the brain (and often if they did they might realise it’s not as obvious as they think).

I hate leveraging. it isn’t even a word.

Yes it is
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leverage_(finance)#Use_of_Language

“leveraging”, whether or not wikipedia 😆 legitimises it is as wrong (in the opposite way) as “thanks for the invite” and “it’s a big ask”

alfabus – Member

I was told to ‘leverage the global matrix’ the other day.

I hope you told him that it was just a film, not actually real

Unemployed? need a job? Why not become an entrepreneur

Its career of the week!

Obviously you might be thinking – being an entrepreneur isn’t a career in itself is it, what does he actually do? Don’t worry, he’s answered that…

“What does the work involve?

There is no average working day in the life of an entrepreneur, which is one of the greatest things about it. No day is ever the same but the only thing that I can guarantee each day is that my phone will ring and emails will buzz through constantly. I think if I ran only one business things would be less manic and a lot easier, but what’s the point in doing easy? Easy is no challenge. There was no point at which I set out to become an entrepreneur. I have always had ideas in my head. Once an idea is in your head you have already started the entrepreneurial process, but the challenge is to put that idea into action and make other people see it.”

Was thinking at work today ( 😯 ) maybe you people who get the opportunity to use this crap should get a few bikey ones in there:

“we need to change the leverage ratio towards the end or this project risks bottoming out”

“gnarly” was invented for these situations

maybe even vertical compliance but laterally rigid

consider it a challenge