Combining finances - the age old problem

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Combining finances - the age old problem

67 posts & 32 voices | Started 2 years ago by DoctorRad | Latest reply from Sandwich

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boblo - Member

freddyg - Member
All money is paid into the joint account from both if us (I earn 2x MrsG's income). We also have a budget account which is drip fed by standing order (or whatever it's called) from the joint account. This covers the mortgage/utilities/car expenses etc. What's left in the joint account is for our disposal - we save some, invest some and spend some. I haven't got a problem with MrsG buying herself something and she hasn't got a problem with me doing the same - neither of us take the p*ss. If we want something a bit more expensive, then we have a natter about it.

Simlar for us, married 21 years now. Our salaries are paid into a joint account and we pay and play from that. I now earn loads more than she but was about equal when we first got together.

I'm happy that our combined earning power provides the lifestyle we like and don't begrudge her spending anything so long as it doesn't take us overdrawn. Oh, and I'd quite like to have a few quid left if/when I wish to buy something

It all gets a bit like trying to value 'contibution' if you get too anal about it and I just can't be bothered with that....

Posted 2 years ago #
GrahamS - Member

Quite an insight to see the amount of people who 'simplify things' by making them more complicated...

Nothing complicated about it.

I would find the "simpler" approach (having one account that everything goes in and out of) far more complicated and time-consuming to manage.

Posted 2 years ago #
coffeeking - Member

A number of accounts is not complicated to set up and is done once, and it saves later complications on a month to month basis as the joint payments occur regularly and automatically and are always budgeted for. If there was only one account we'd both have to monitor it in much more detail as one could spend more than expected and bring the joint account too low to pay off the bills and I'd have to ask her if it was OK if I bought something pricey this month in case she wanted to as well. As it is with seperate accounts we just take care of our own account and spending/saving. Ultimately if it works for you it's fine obviously, but lets not have people suggesting it's a trust issue or not following the "whats yours is mine" philosophy of marriage.

When I have bought her a present that I'd rather she didn't see the price of - I pay for it on the credit card and ask her not to look at that month's bill.

Buying presents from a joint account seems pointless, they may as well buy it themselves. If you trusted her that much and vice versa then why would her seeing the price matter?

Posted 2 years ago #
GrahamS - Member

well said coffeeking.

Posted 2 years ago #
freddyg - Member

coffeeking - Member

When I have bought her a present that I'd rather she didn't see the price of - I pay for it on the credit card and ask her not to look at that month's bill.

Buying presents from a joint account seems pointless, they may as well buy it themselves. If you trusted her that much and vice versa then why would her seeing the price matter?

As I said. If it's something special, I pay by credit card. Seeing the price has nothing to do with trust - it's about surprising her.

Posted 2 years ago #
boblo - Member

I like to surprise mine with presents I've bought for myself

Posted 2 years ago #
GrahamS - Member

As I said. If it's something special, I pay by credit card.

What, you mean you have separate credit card accounts?

Posted 2 years ago #
FoxyChick - Member

We have a joint account. That's it. All our money goes into it. I earn more than MrFC but that's not an issue. We have 2 kids together, a house together, etc.
Don't get all this personal spending money thing. If I want something I get it(like my new bike). If MrFC wants something he gets it(like his new bike). We talk about what we spend.
Our lives are complicated enough without a few different bank accounts to be sorting out.

Posted 2 years ago #
freddyg - Member

GrahamS - Member

As I said. If it's something special, I pay by credit card.

What, you mean you have separate credit card accounts?

No. As mentioned earlier - I ask her not to look at that particular month's bill.

Posted 2 years ago #
GrahamS - Member

Our lives are complicated enough without a few different bank accounts to be sorting out.

But but.. it's really not "complicated". It's decidedly simpler.

And better financially as well.

Posted 2 years ago #
FoxyChick - Member

How can it be simpler?
One account, one statement.

Posted 2 years ago #
feartie - Member

But but.. it's really not "complicated". It's decidedly simpler.

Agreed. You don't have to figure out what direct debits still have to come off the account before deciding whether you can afford to spend £200 on a new handbag/set of wheels/whatever

Posted 2 years ago #
grievoustim - Member

if you pay bills by DD its far more complicated

I used to use a joint account to pay all the bills from - but she would just see money going spare and use it for something, so I had to constatntly check the balance to make sure there was enough there to cover the bills

much easier to keep a single account for important bills, and have another account each for more "fun" stuff

Posted 2 years ago #
coffeeking - Member

Don't get all this personal spending money thing. If I want something I get it(like my new bike). If MrFC wants something he gets it(like his new bike). We talk about what we spend.

We like to know that any money we spend on fun stuff for ourselves was earned by ourselves and we're not borrowing off each other or going to miss a payment on a DD because we both bought something. For example, if we had a joint account and I wanted to buy a bike I'd have to organise buying it with her so that if she wanted to buy something else she'd have to wait or we'd have to organise cash to cover it. Instead we set up a joint account, pay a fixed sum and any savings per month into that and the rest of the time we just spend whatever free cash is left in our pay accounts on what ever we like. If we need to wait a while to save for something larger we do, but it's independant of each other meaning one doesnt interfere with the other.

IMO that's simpler than a single account.

Posted 2 years ago #
FoxyChick - Member

Do any of you lot with all your "own money" have children? Who pays for all the expenses that they incurr?

I'm really not hung up about MrFc spending money I've earned or vice versa.

Posted 2 years ago #
mema - Member

Im with coffeeking on this. My dude spends 4 times as much a week than I do. If I was to live with him I wouldn't want that to change for him but I also wouldn't expect him basically to give me the extra so that we are the same. I would expect us both to pay the same when it comes to the bills no matter how much we each earn. When it comes to going for dinner or going on holiday if I couldn't afford to pay half I would say and then it's up to him to pay if he wanted to or we would come to an arrangement.
I guess everyone has their own ways of dealing with money and the OP was just looking for options in how to play things.

Posted 2 years ago #
GrahamS - Member

How can it be simpler?
One account, one statement.

Right... which sounds simpler in these scenarios a) or b) ?

Question: Can I afford to buy/save x this month?

a) look at current balance of personal account.

b) look at balance of joint account. Add up and subtract all outstanding bills, direct debits and standing orders that have still to come off this month. Don't forget that this month there is no council tax to pay, but the TV licence is due. Then consult with partner to make sure they don't have any big spends this month.

Question: what is our total monthly outgoing on bills?

a) compare joint account balance to same time last month.

b) trawl through the statements for the combined account trying to pick out the regular bills from the other stuff. Have fun trying to figure out if "Marks&Spenc-WD £39" was for the house insurance or for that new bra.

Posted 2 years ago #
FoxyChick - Member

mema...I think we are in entirely different situations. I don't have dude...I have a husband of 14 yrs.
If I had a "dude" and didn't live with him...then no way would I have a joint bank account.

Our set-up works very well for us, as I'm sure everyone elses does for them.

Posted 2 years ago #
coffeeking - Member

Do any of you lot with all your "own money" have children? Who pays for all the expenses that they incurr?

No, but it's no different, they'd be a joint expense and come out of the joint account.

I'm really not hung up about MrFc spending money I've earned or vice versa.

I'm not hung up about it either, its just easier to look at my own account and say "I've enough to buy that for myself, I'll buy it" than say "we have enough in to buy that now, but when the gas comes out later we might not, and if she wants to do this later in the month will we still have sufficient cash to cover the council tax? I'll have to call her and ask her first to check..."

On a day to day basis it's just easier to budget and have independent spending.

mema...I think we are in entirely different situations. I don't have dude...I have a husband of 14 yrs.

Now now, stop with the petty terminology pedantry. mema makes perfect sense and your picking holes in her chosen phrase suggests you think your relationship is better or more trusting than hers because she chose to use the word dude instead of the word "husband" or "long term partner" .

Incidentally I'm not married but I've been with my other half for the same length of time as you've been married.

I wonder if those who have joint accounts have fairly predictable outgoings month on month, that's the only way I see it being simpler, and even then I'm not convinced.

Posted 2 years ago #
GrahamS - Member

Incidentally, another option is to just have two joint accounts, one for bills the other for combined personal.

Perhaps this would be a happy medium for some.

Posted 2 years ago #
FoxyChick - Member

LOL!!!
GrahamS...thanks for all your hard work with your post!!

As I said, our set-up works for us.

And how anyone who refers to their partner as a "dude" expects to be taken seriously is beyond me!!

*eagerly awaits lots of quoting and explaining*

Right...I'll get my lovely new coat which was bought with funds from our joint account!!

Posted 2 years ago #
jonb - Member

Having not read much beyond the initial few posts here's my experience.

Partner and I no dependents. Both on good wages, her a lot more than mine she has more assets. I pay half for the yearly running costs of a car owned 100% by her. She will be putting in vastly more when we buy a house. It's very one sided but as neither of us our on the poverty line it doesn't really matter.

We pay the same into a joint bank account to cover joint expenses. This includes boring stuff like food and bills but also holidays that we both go on.

The rest we look after ourselves so we can spend it as we like. Anything big that we couldn't take out of the joint account we talk about and work out.

I couldn't share one account it wouldn't work. Between us we have nearly 10 anyway with various ISAs. We find it easier to manage our finances i fit's done separately. Means I can spend what I like on bikes as I know how much money I've got and she can spend what she wants. Neither of us has to worry about spending the others money.

If I were you I would sit down and have an open conversation about finances and decide how much you want to each pay into a joint account each month to cover joint expenses. Then leave the rest in individual accounts. Having separate accounts isn't not trusting your partner it's just a way of managing your money effectively.

Posted 2 years ago #
FoxyChick - Member

Oh, and nice edit coffeeking btw!

No need to get so worked up...it's only money after all!

Posted 2 years ago #
joemarshall - Member

We have salary going into our accounts, and a jointy for bills / shopping.

Other than obviously neither of us wanting the other to go broke, I don't mind what she spends money on, and same goes the other way.

Joe

Posted 2 years ago #
coffeeking - Member

Oh, and nice edit coffeeking btw!

No need to get so worked up...it's only money after all!

No idea which edit you're talking about, I did about 6 over the space of 4 minutes Not worked up, just slightly bemused and like to clear up answers to questsions rather than leave things with more questions Who knows, I might want to change my methods if you put up a reasonable case.

Posted 2 years ago #
Drac - Moderator

Do any of you lot with all your "own money" have children? Who pays for all the expenses that they incurr?

Yes. We do.

Posted 2 years ago #
Drac - Moderator

And how anyone who refers to their partner as a "dude" expects to be taken seriously is beyond me!!

I was going to add that phrase to the "Get on your janglies" thread, I didn't have one but I do now. Phrase that is not not janglies.

Posted 2 years ago #
coffeeking - Member

Not the case with everyone, but certainly many women see a joint account as proof of trust on the husbands part. That, in itself, shows lack of trust. It's like marriage - I don't see the point without kids really, it takes more commitment to stay with someone when not legally tied to them than it does when you're not, it's just a tool to reduce relationship insecurity.

Posted 2 years ago #
ebygomm - Member

Not married but living togther.

Everything comes out of my account, my boyfriend transfers money to cover shared expenses every month.

Don't really see the point in joint accounts.

Posted 2 years ago #
IvanDobski - Member

I earn roughly 20% more than my mrs but all the money goes into a single account. I get paid at the end of each month and the rent, bills etc come out within the next few days. Her wages get paid weekly which then acts as spending money for the month. Doing it like this seems to remove the disparity in the money we bring home.

As for buying stuff - we live together, if one of us wants something then the other generally knows about it and we plan accordingly. Neither of us will go out and spend a significent amount without telling the other we've done it afterwards and neither will criticize the other for buying whatever it is. (She's after some X0/Noir stuff this month...)

What really bugged me when I worked in an outdoor shop was the amount of people, both male and female, who had to ask their partner if they were "allowed" to buy something...

Posted 2 years ago #
coffeeking - Member

What really bugged me when I worked in an outdoor shop was the amount of people, both male and female, who had to ask their partner if they were "allowed" to buy something...

Yup, that does make me chuckle, but when people use the same account and have opposing views on what cash should be spent on, you can see why they do it.

Posted 2 years ago #
Sandwich - Member

As a little aside we have 3 joint accounts, 1 for bills and one each. This cuts down on probate problems if I have a bad climbing fall or stack on the bike.

Posted 2 years ago #