…that has just come to me in a flash of genius:

Man walks into a bike shop and says: ” I need a way to transport large quantities of Indian cheese on my bicycle, so I’m after a…[wait for it…]…

…paneer bag”.

Thank you very much, you can have that one for free.

(And this IS in the correct forum)

What do you get if you cross a river with a bicycle?

Wet feet

IGMC

I think, BikePawl, that we have set the standard so high that others have felt unable to contribute to this thread. Well done sir!

“I’ve really had it with my dog: he’ll chase anyone on a bicycle.”

“So what are you going to do? Have him put down?”

“No, nothing that drastic. I think I’ll just confiscate his bike.”

Did you hear about the wrestler who’s brakes failed and crashed?
It was GiantHayesStacks…….

Rorschach: the joke would’ve been even better if you shoe-horned in a reference to “[brakes failed] on his bike manufactured by the world’s biggest bike manufacturer”…

HTH

I just received a phone message from someone trying to sell a new way to connect pedals to a bike.
I hate these crank calls 🙁

Two guys riding along,come to a fork in the trail, ‘I fancy the low path’, ‘I’m going on the higher path says the second rider’. ‘OK we’ll meet up in the next village’.
They meet later, ‘how was your ride?’yeah I took the high path and wound through the woods, and came out into a beautiful meadow, full of wild flowers, I laid down in the long grass, and felt completely at one with nature, It was amazing, how about you’? ‘Well’, says the other rider, ‘I followed the path down, past a car breakers, round the back of an industrial estate, and came out beside a railway line, as I rode by I noticed a woman tied to the railway tracks, I quickly jumped over the fence, went down and untied her. We made love all afternoon,in every position you can think of, it was brilliant!’ ‘You lucky sod, did you get a B.J…’? ‘No, I couldn’t find the head’…

Whats the cheapest bike you can buy?

…. A penny-farthing

What do you call a paedophile on a bike?

Cycle Jackson.

meehaja – Member
“I’ve really had it with my dog: he’ll chase anyone on a bicycle.”

“So what are you going to do? Have him put down?”

“No, nothing that drastic. I think I’ll just confiscate his bike.”

V. Good 😆

Why did the bicycle fall over?… It was too tired

What do you get if you cross London with a bicycle?

Stabbed.

I thought my singlespeed was broken…but its fixed now.

Two young ladies cycling along a cobbled street, one says to the other “I’ve never come this way before.”