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Being a bit crap

63 posts & 44 voices | Started 2 years ago by samuri | Latest reply from simonfbarnes

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samuri - Member

I had a bit of an epiphany yesterday. I'm not actually that *good* at anything. Oh, I can do well at things, I'm reasonable on a bike, I'm an OK swimmer and I guess I'm OK at my job. Obviously I'm merely adequate in bed and at driving and I sometimes luck out at photography. But these are all end results rather than during activity assessments. If I actually capture something worth looking at through a view finder or the lady in question doesn't fall asleep during the vinegar strokes then it's purely a result of brute force and awkwardness. I don't have any tangible skill at these activities. This may be because I'm just crap (the most likely answer) at everything or because I've never been shown how to do any of these things by someone who knows what they're doing.

I also realised that if I'm any sort of human being I should at least make some sort of attempt to learn how to do something properly rather than just hammering away on the pedals or churning the water into the sort of foam you'd see pouring out of an ICI plant waste pipe. The question is, which activity should I put the effort in at and which one should I just carry on banging my groin against like a frustrated chimp?

I'm going for

1. Photography
2. Swimming
3. Cycling

(Lets leave the driving and love making alone since they're probably lost causes at this stage in my life)

Thoughts?

What have you done a course in or made some concerted structured effort to improve in your life and it's actually done some good?

Posted 2 years ago #
bananaworld - Member

Don't worry too much about any one thing, and don't beat yourself up. The vast majority of us have to contend with making it through life being basically average at the things we'd like to shine at.

An evening class in photography is accessible, common (in a good way) and valuable.

Given sufficient motivation and time/cash/will to get there, I'd really like to have a go at one of those mountain bike skills courses - more speed!

Good luck, Samuri

Posted 2 years ago #
wwaswas - Member

I strive for mediocrity.

Posted 2 years ago #
simonfbarnes - Member

Lets leave the driving and love making alone since they're probably lost causes at this stage in my life

my experience is that age gives you staying power absent in youth :o)

Posted 2 years ago #
Lord Felcham the III - Member

Does it matter if you're having fun? NO! so STFU & MTFU!

Posted 2 years ago #
lowey - Member

What have you done a course in or made some concerted structured effort to improve in your life and it's actually done some good?

Spell. When I left school, I was pretty much branded as being thick as I couldnt spell to save my life. So I enrolled on a further education course (along with the ONC I was doing at night school) to try and improve my grasp of letters.

It didnt work. However, it did put me in contact with someone who suggested that I might be dyslexic. Sure enough, most of the other symtpoms fitted and that really helped. From having a pretty low opinion of myself for being thick, I now had a reason and accepted it. So in answer wether it did some good, yes it did, but not in the way it was meant too.

Noadays, I'm just happy being me. I dont shine at much (other than getting in the top ten in europe at an online game, nerd), but so what. I just dont really care and am happy being mediocre.

Posted 2 years ago #
Notter - Member

Count yourself lucky, there's probably people in the world who aspire to be as good as you!

Posted 2 years ago #
Kit - Member

samuri - your photos are pretty good! Don't worry about it, so long as you are or you can be happy with your lot in life then why try harder?

I'm barely even mediocre at anything!

Posted 2 years ago #
anagallis_arvensis - Member

Problem is we were all bought up being told "everyones good at something", they were wrong I'm not. Luckily I can get by at a lot of things which is better than some poor hopeless souls.

Posted 2 years ago #
oddjob - Member

[cheese]
why not focus on being happy and try to be really good at enjoying being who you are[\cheese]

I think i've been through some similar thoughts (except that I know I am dynamite in the sack) and I think the important thing to focus on is being happy about being crap at stuff. It is, after all, better than not doing anything and therefore not even being good enough to be crap.

Posted 2 years ago #
finbar - Member

I've heard great things about swimsmooth, you could give one of their coaching sessions a go? It's a tecnhqiue sport so if you get that right you can bask in the glow of beating people half your age and twice as fit (as testified by the ex-school swimteam chubsters that regularly cruise past me in the pool!).

http://www.swimsmooth.com/

Posted 2 years ago #
Coasting - Member

Have u ever stopped to think that perhaps your better at these three things than a lot of people and given time and some effort u will look back and be thankful

Posted 2 years ago #
The Southern Yeti - Member

Excel at something that nobody else really does..... You know like nunchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills....

Posted 2 years ago #
miketually - Member

You're shit and you know you are!
You're shit and you know you are!

Posted 2 years ago #
scu98rkr - Member

The current thinking seems to be that we should should want to be the best at something.

To be honest im not really sure thats what I want.

I work at Imperial College and there are obviously some people who are the best in their field here. However they dont always seem to that well balanced.

Also to be really good at something you have to practice it ALOT. To be honest I'd rather do lots of things a little.

Posted 2 years ago #
twinklydave - Member

You can write in an entertaining way too, don't forget. In fact I used to like your column in the mag.
(So you're a 'published author' too, that's more than the vast majority will ever achieve!)

Out of the three options you've decided on, I'd go with "photography"...and save the exercise based ones for thrashing out any frustration

Posted 2 years ago #
DaRC_L - Member

That's the problem with Normal Distribution curves - most people are just well ermmm averagely normal.
Put it the other way at least you're not cr*p at these things.

It's all relative anyway - in races as a cyclist, like you, I'm usually middle of the pack. Which means I'm rubbish compared to an elite rider but waaay better than the majority of the population. On the normal distribution curves that puts us in the upper quartile which actually means you're quite good

So your choice should be cycling (what answer did you expect on an MTB forum?).

Posted 2 years ago #
ctznsmith - Member

To a certain extent it depends how you define 'good' and who you compare yourself to.

Am I a good cyclist when compared to Lance Armstrong, Steve Peat, Danny Macaskill, Joe Parkin, most people on here? No not in the slightest...do I enjoy it even though I'm probably last up all the hills and off road have to walk down some of the tougher bits if I don't feel comfortable...yes.

It's always good to learn more and improve at something, but if pushing yourself to do that removes the enjoyment or starts to make you unhappy it's not worth it. As Bob Marley said 'don't worry, be happy*!'

*easier said than done sometimes.

Posted 2 years ago #
molgrips - Member

If you want to take your interests to the next level then go for it. Don't listen to these people telling you to be satisfied with the status quo - I don't even understand why they comment on threads like these. Is it jealousy? So they feel less inadequate themselves?

I'm currently still working on the cycling.. hasn't gone too well these last couple of years but here's to a good one this time round... As for who I'm comparing myself to.. well it's the other riders at the races

Sure, I'm a lot better at cycling than most of the public, but where's the satisfaction in being a better cyclist than people who've never done it, don't care about it and don't train?

There is nothing wrong at all with wanting to be good at something. It's all very well saying 'be happy whatever' but if striving makes you happy then tell us why we should not do it?

Posted 2 years ago #
simonfbarnes - Member

I was listening to Gordy this morning, and thinking, the trouble with a true meritocracy is that it discriminates against those without obvious (or any) merit

Your primary duty is to enjoy this brief spell of life to the best of your ability

Posted 2 years ago #
HTTP404 - Member

Photography - as David Bailey once said "Everyone will take one great picture, I’ve done better because I’ve taken two."

Posted 2 years ago #
wwaswas - Member

"Your primary duty is to enjoy this brief spell of life to the best of your ability"

that's intersting.

I think my primary responsibility is to not spoil other peoples brief spell of life. If I can enjoy mine while doing that then all the better.

Posted 2 years ago #
ctznsmith - Member

@molgrips I wasn't saying don't try or don't advance yourself but don't beat yourself up about it if you don't have the time/skill (maybe even willpower/drive).

There are hills I've still failed to cycle up so I'll do what I can to 'train' to ride up those hills but if 'life'/other commitments get in the way I'm not going to get depressed at how rubbish I am at riding up hills.

But then I've never been an ambitious or 'driven' individual.

Posted 2 years ago #
simonfbarnes - Member

I think my primary responsibility is to not spoil other peoples brief spell of life.

hmmm, and odd way of looking at life, beholden to everyone else!

Posted 2 years ago #
Junkyard - Member

unless you selflessly pursue one goal[which means ignoring lots of other things] you cannot really excel in one thing. You seem to do better than most at a variety of things - clearly not lovemaking. I think jack of all trades master of none is a happier way to a life balance personally. Take riding - you are better than all non riders and as good as most committed riders - possibly in top half of committed amateurs so about top 2 % of pop for cycling How many on here can do 200 miles in a day? You have not won a prize for your writing [have you?]but you are a published author so kudos. Well I have bigged you up enough now I think but I would go for photography from your list and realise that if you compare yourself to the very best in any field few of us measure up well. If we compare ourself to the norm we tend to do very well. Cup hall full or half empty?
Accept your self and strive to better is all we can do in life.

Posted 2 years ago #
iDave - Member

being great at everything has its downside - consider Smee

Posted 2 years ago #
lowey - Member

being great at everything has its downside - consider Smee

lol

Posted 2 years ago #
DaRC_L - Member

I think my primary responsibility is to not spoil other peoples brief spell of life.

hmmm, and odd way of looking at life, beholden to everyone else!

But then helping others is often said to be the true path to happiness.

Posted 2 years ago #
hosepipe - Member

first of all, read Tom hodgekinsons book, 'how to be free'....it will help you to laugh at the things happening around you

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0141022027/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=471057153&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0241143217&pf_rd_m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&pf_rd_r=064HM924GSDPPZ2DD6AS

then how about a mini challenge to make you proud of yourself and rediscover yourself! maybe a cycle ride to the highlands, or lands end to john o'groats. or cycle the width of britain

Posted 2 years ago #
simonfbarnes - Member

maybe a cycle ride to the highlands, or lands end to john o'groats. or cycle the width of britain

you don't have to go somewhere else to rediscover yourself! And a physical challenge can be a distraction from introspection

Posted 2 years ago #
BigDummy - Member

I am sorry to hear this.

I thought your column used to be really good, I like a lot of your photographs and you're so devilishly handsome that I find it difficult to imagine you're anything other than a hurricane in the sack.

Posted 2 years ago #
woodsman - Member

Whoa - man you need some happy/self esteem installation (self). I'll say it again, get a book on NLP - do it this week, there I told you so!!

Hey, who are you comparing yourself against, an unknown imaginary person no doubt......no matter how good you are at anything, there will always be someone who can do that seemingly better - be realistic!

All the best

Posted 2 years ago #
molgrips - Member

I wasn't saying don't try or don't advance yourself but don't beat yourself up about it if you don't have the time/skill (maybe even willpower/drive).

Fair play, but I didn't think the OP was beating himself.. more like rueing missed opportunities.

All I say is - do it, get cracking.. The more you put in, the more you get out.

Posted 2 years ago #
elliptic - Member

So... whose blog is this from? Sounds like a rubbish slow rider, not actually that good at all

Ride Entry – 16th January 2010

Bike : Pimpino
Distance : 27 miles

[...]

Back to the ride then. ****ing fast is a good 2 word summation. I reckon I clocked a 20mph average here, and this is on a fixed wheel cross bike *which had a slow puncture for the last 4 miles!!*. But I loved it all. The first three miles or so were BALLS OUT!!! It was ace! I could hardly breath at the end of it but I had a good 15 minutes of skimming car bumpers, slipstreaming large vehichles and generally putting the **** up a group of placid drivers who think they can pretty much ignore cyclists.

[...etc...]

Posted 2 years ago #
stever - Member

Don't listen to those complacent losers with their 'don't worry, be happy' happyclappy riff, keep striving for the upper echelon of mediocrity I say. Do a pictures A level, that'd be good. It only takes 10,000 hours to get really good at something apparently, not much really

Posted 2 years ago #