Don’t eat your dinner? …….No pudding.

Im afraid Ive always been an empty-the-plate kind of bastard of a dad.

While Im the cook, I wont humour fussy eating. When they start cooking they can knock themselves out.

As long as they’re eating a variety of vegetables, fruit, and protein, I think you are best to feed them lots of things they like eating. I don’t see any benefit in forcing them to eat things they don’t like. I agree with the insisting that they try different things, but not with cleaning the plate.

I’ve never been a fan of the clear your plate approach. I think it could lead to bad habits later in life where they feel that they have to eat everything served and therefore will continue eating when they aren’t hungry which will in turn lead to weight issues.
We tend to go with the “you need to eat ‘X’ more mouthfuls’ before you’re done.” Then it can be adapted to how much they’ve already eaten and how much more of a certain food group we’d like them to eat more of.
We have 3 little ones (7, 5 and 2) – the 7yr old never seems to stop eating and is skinny but tall, the 5yr old is like a little sparrow and hardly seems to eat but she’s a healthy weight (much smaller, lighter build than her brother). The 2 yr old is still easily distracted by anything that moves but generally eats well.

they have to finish vegetables if they want seconds from meat/fish/potatoes/rice/whatever…
we don’t make them clean their plate.

is being skinny a problem?
did the doctor say he’s too skinny?

Don’t beat yourself up. Sounds very similar to our lad (who is now nearly 6).

As long as he is fit and healthy take the the Dr’s advice with a pinch of salt (no pun intended).

Our lad had very little appetite or interest in food. His appetite improves when he is going through a ‘growing spurt’ but mealtimes can be challenging. He always starts off well but the momentum slows down.

I found involving him in the meal making process improved things. He likes Pizza so when we have it (not too often) he helps make them (base ingredients in the bread maker, puts the toppings on), make Quiche he helps make the short crust pastry.

All of the advice above. Maybe don’t get him to clear his plate but insist he has a couple more mouthfuls of something he hasn’t eaten much. Especially if he wants pudding!!!

is it a matter of not eating healthily or you’d just like him to eat more?

Not eating healthily would to me mean eating no vegetables / only chicken nuggets and tommy k / pasta with grated cheese every night (I say those 3 because I have among my own kids, nephews and nieces an example of each. Two of those 3 are now 10 and 11 years old, and eat like young adults. the others still a challenge, but because of the other two we aren’t overly concerned. Tommy K counts as a vegetable, right?)

Sounds to me like he has a small appetite; he’s getting a mix of food groups by the sounds of it so judge if hes getting enough calories based on his hunger / energy levels and not on what a doctor’s book says.

I wish i was 95% height and 45% weight. More like the other way round……

Aiming for them asking for seconds or for pudding once theyve finished the plate. At 6 & 10 I usually serve around 50% of an adult portion (slightly less for 6). I usually keep back a little that either Mrs S or I would take for lunch the following day if it were not eaten.

I wouldn’t bother about what your sister does – your kid, your rules. Just don’t be overly concerned unless there is a health risk and at that point I am sure your GP would be looking to other factors causing the lack of appetite (ie, no kid would starve themselves out of spite at that age).

Funnily enough, when I was young I had no appetite either and my mum ended up taking me to the doctors and I got some medicine to improve my appetite. To this day I don’t know if it was a real medicine or just a placebo (which would have been for my mum’s benefit not mine as I couldn’t care less) but not long after my appetite increased and my mum spent my teenage years constantly saying how she wished she hadn’t given me that medicine as I was eating her out of house and home 🙂

I’m not a clean your plate dad, but i won’t let them away from the table until they’ve had a bloody good go!

If they’re faffing they stay at the table when everyone else has gone, even if it means leaving them on their own. Fortunately this doesn’t happen very often. but they definitely don’t get pudding or sometimes I will keep there plate of what they have left and offer it to them again when they complain of being hungry half an hour later, when really what they mean is “can I have some sweets now”.

Theres no right or wrong answer to getting kids to eat, maybe just give him more stuff he likes and less stuff he doesn’t until he’s used to eating larger amounts.

Hi sweaman2 – have you tried mumsnet? 😆

Seriously though, the best advice I can give is :

DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT. IT’LL TURN OUT FINE.

Really. It’ll turn out fine. If kids are hungry, they’ll eat. Your kid might suddenly start wolfing down stuff you don’t think he likes or turning his nose up at his favourites but he will eat enough and, in time, he’ll probably eat almost everything.

Christ, if we went by what the cousins are, ours would eat nothing but a small slice of bread. Bugger what anyone else does, if yours is happy and healthy, then all is grand.

(another thing)

Mealtimes with some of you sounds like a right laugh. No distractions, no toys, must eat from nine separate food groups, finish it all in colour order, no-one leaves till it’s all gone or there’s no pudding, healthy gruel on Thursdays……..

Mealtimes are family times. Laugh, joke, make eating a pleasure and not a chore. Yes, all eat the same stuff but what’s wrong with all having chicken nuggets and tommy K once in a while – it won’t kill you (not immediately) Watch an Italian family eat for a how to guide.

I remember a year or so ago we were at my wife’s cousins and our two turned their noses up at olives, salami, crispbreads and humous as a snack and my wife was embarrassed about it (thinking how crap we were at being parents).

Then the same family came to ours and their two wouldn’t go near Indian or Chinese food (they hadn’t tried it previously so simply had the same reaction our two did to food they hadn’t tried before).

Neither was right, neither wrong. Just different. Do what you think best and remember it isn’t a competition.

Bit of an extrapolation the theothejony…
Mealtimes are family times, which means happy times, food and chatting, exactly as it’s always been when I was growing up. It’s just that doesn’t need to be accompanied by plastic tat strewn all over the table and TV.

We’ve always been the “x more spoons” type when it comes to dinner, you know your kids and how much they normally eat and you tailor it to that.
You could always mix stuff together so if they want the peas they have to eat the rest of it with it, good to do with stuff like fish pie, casserole etc.

We also have a jam jar and a ball goes into it everything they do something we’ve agreed on. Full jar = treat of their choice. Used it successfully in getting one to read his school book and do spellings each night and the other for potty training. We’ve found that has worked better than taking stuff away.

Don’t let it worry you too much, kids go through phases, we thought our youngest had a bit of a belly and then seemingly overnight it vanished! Another thing is that if they’re hungry you sure as hell know about it. Keep doing what you’re doing, keep things varied and nature will sort it out.

All the advice here in Norway is absolutely do NOT try and force your child to eat anything and that includes any kind of coercion
Offer it to them and let them choose, if they are hungry they will let you know

also let them have a choice in what they eat and as long as its healthy(ish) give it to them

all this cr4p about making them eat what they are given is bullying

except for medical reasons of course – geez

Our son is three and three months. He is a nightmare to feed to be honest. He had serious reflux for the first two and a half years. Basically he was refluxing , but not throwing up. He ended up with liquid on his lungs a few times. Scary stuff

Needles to say he is now a bit wary around food. Anything new has to be touched, rubbed on his face and generally messed with. Nine times out of ten he won’t eat it. His diet is mainly hummus, olives, fish fingers, cereal bars and bread (he is obsessed with bread).

We had visions of feeding him organic fruit and veg etc. Thing is, he’s happy and healthy. He has more energy than seems possible. We are seeing an eating specialist, but I’m not worried. If your kid is healthy and happy, that’s all that matters. Balls to comparing anything to somebody else’s kids. Each one is different