Close Encounters of the Third Kin – Being undeniably drawn to your relatives (a tale of everyday Norfolk folk)

If you say it with an Irish accent it makes more sense :wink:

+1 bottle with pebbles and pretend (or real) OW! when she bites. Took 2 months with our springer. Also scruff of neck works well.

Love tory – Boris and his hareem, old story in a modern setting

A Soldier’s tory – blond, tousle haired public school boy and his military fan club

The Neverending tory – Maggie celebrates her 125th birthday

The Greatest tory Ever Told – The passion of christ starring dave and mates in star roles

Bedtime tories – More adventures with Boris and his ladies

A Christmas tory – A politician is for life not just Christmas

All Quiet on the Western Font – A young soldiergraphic designer faces profound disillusionment in the soul-destroying horror of World War I choosing the best font for a client brochure

Chintown – Bruce Forsyth, Jay Leno, Jimmy Hill and Drew Barrymore star in a fight to the death over who has the biggest facial protrusion!

2 Angry Men – Boris and Ken contesting who will wave the flag at the Olympics
The Lord of the Rigs – Frodo and Sam go prospecting for oil in the north sea
Even Samurai – A poor village under attack recruits well matched warriors

Local tip recycling centre unlikely to touch it. Just have a bonfire, put it on, retire to safe distance and film the result. Would make a great addition to one of the best threads of the year….Close shave with petrol fess up

Richc …sounds like you need a divining/dowsing rod!

Yes buy one. Best technology purchase ever in terms of value for money, and yes loads of free books legitimately available.

Oh so that how they keep their b@lls clean! :-)

Did you empty out the tank from last year? Is there any water in the fuel. get rid of the old crappy stuff, start with a fresh can and see what happens! Usually improves things.

Uranium Ore

Mine arrived today! Made a changes from the bills. Like cakefest a little bemused as to what purpose it serves as well!!

Sell it quickly! Ebay?

Back to the dealer pronto!

A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. “What can I get you?” the bartender inquires. “I want 6 shots of Jagermeister,” responded the young man. “6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?” “Yeah, my first blowjob.” “Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house.” “No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won’t get rid of the taste, nothing will.”

I rear-ended a car this morning …

I tell you, I knew right then and there that it was going to be a REALLY bad day. The driver got out of the other car, and wouldn’t you know it! He was a DWARF!! He looked up at me and said, “I’m NOT f***ing happy!”
So I said, “Which f***ing one ARE you then?”

So the Welsh can track them down in the fields more easily?

This is how do it………

I am picking up an 8 week old Male spaniel on Thursday

Exciting! Our springer is now a year old. There have been times when I would have paid someone to take her away. Remember its just like having another kid. They will wake you at night, barf on your floor have the squits in their basket! But with plenty of socialisation, training, love and consistent boundaries they turn into great dogs. We use a doggie day care when we going to be out for more than 4 hrs and she has the run of the utility room and garden when we are out.
They are dirt magnets but not food hoovers (My brother in laws lab ate a 1kg block of cheese in 3 minutes when everyone was in the garden-wrapper and all). Enjoy!

Here you are there is even a website Revenge Supermarket[/url]

+1 thegreatape……….liking your style. Don’t get mad..get even

+1 for get a golf. loads more room (+visibility in the back). Wife just got a 1yr old 140bhp DSG. averaged 65mpg travelling 65mph!

Have a blame storm

What tyre for log cutting…………sorry had to as no-one else had bothered!

Plastic surgery?

Surely more is better…what could possibly go wrong?

2 years!

Why the dungarees?

Yep also had a mispent youth building bonfires on the beach…….the best fun was aerosol cans just like richmtb. No matter how empty always guaranteed an explosion!
Our best moment was a half full can of lighter fuel!! Same result raining fire and no trace of the bonfire! Once you have done that everything else is tame.
We also made Molotov cocktails and practised throwing them into disused WWII sentry boxes! Hours of fun.

Time to consider a career change? You would fit right in….Porky Pigs

How to protect your home
No need for a dog…just a beware of sign! (and other top tips!)

Get your own cat

+1 Rocketman. As soon as we got our cat from the rescue centre…no cat poo in our garden. Seems counter intuitive but our cat scares other cats off from pooing in our garden and yet he poops somewhere else as well! Result (for us anyway!)

It’s actually a very clever ploy to solve the pension crisis.
Lots of calories consumed = lots of tax dollars into pension pot
Lots of calories consumed = very fat americans
Very fat americans = lowering life expectancy
Lower life expectancy = less pension to pay out
Simples

No, Yes, No so there!

Now, I’m not employed, nor will I ever be

Hmm well qualified to start this thread then……..why wont you ever be?

Your pointing looks fine but you need to sweep up them leaves off the wet decking; could cause an accident you know.

We need evidence of the size of the rider before we start dissing the bike!

A Parcel of Postmen