1) Have Sir Nicolas Winterton beheaded.
2) Ban peas from ever appearing in currys ever again.
3) Have Sunday's traffic warden locked in the Tower (I'm £60 poorer)
4) insist Bernard Cornwall write more Shape Novels
and finally:
5) Give me the power to exterminate all the rogue phone calls from bogus callers from India and Africa trying to sell me something or buy my business.

There. That feels better already!

4)a: Get Bernard Cornwell to finish the bloody Starbuck series he started then abandoned! 👿

4)b: Get Bernard Cribbins to do more episodes of The Wombles.

I wasn't aware that Currys sold peas ?

It took me half a minute to work out what 2) meant as well ATP.

1. Immediate chopping off of hands for litter dropping.

2. Those left with hands get a 1 million pound handout

3. Encourage people to live in other countries with their windfall.

4. Outlaw cars

5. Return Britain to nature.

allthepies, they used to sell iPods but have moved onto pPods now.

Nappies for dogs

nappies for horses. And bernard matthews

ban jim davidson & 'reality' tv shows

Bring back the Death Penalty for parking on double yellow lines

Oooops!
I was parked in Resident's Parking – can I still be PM?

Bring back the Death Penalty for parking on double yellow lines

I wasn't aware it had ever been law?

Ti29er, totally I expect anybody who is PM to have broken many many laws, those on the statute, moral ones & of nature….

So go for it 🙂

1) Stick an extra lane on most motorways, dual almost all A roads, and widen inner city roads.

It was half term last week, and every day my mainly motorway commute was halved, saving me an hour a day. It would pay back in terms of reduced stress and pollution, and increased productivity.

2) Make public transport work. I'd love to be able to get on a bus or train and be able to get a bit of work done, lounge about etc.

3) Ban unpaid work for businesses. Internships only serve to ensure that people without cash are unable to get work experience, and that people with cash, do.

4) Sort out education. Don't care if it's grammar schools, free schools, or whatever, but the current system is very poor. See point 3. Class is the major determining factor for educational attainment in the UK.

5) Gas anyone who can't watch football without making a series of semi orgasmic noises.

1 – Ban Soccer. Completely. Apart from for girls.
2 – Enforce "Keep left unless overtaking" on the motorways with lasers and guns.
3 – Decapitation for anyone using the word "Workshop" to describe anything that does not involve manual labour and/or tools.
4 – Remove all government recruitment advertising from the press, especially the Guardian, and have it on a govt run portal instead.
5 – Clone and recreate Morcambe and Wise.

1. Push women off chairs.

http://www.malcolmcoles.co.uk/blog/if-fox-news-ever-came-to-britain-would-it-look-like-this/

🙂