Some bloody creation of nature has reverse-parked its arse into my little bush, that I’ve not even planted yet, and drops its guts into the middle.

Guessing it isn’t any of the resident birds, and next door’s cats aren’t tall enough (and very rarely venture into my garden anyhow), what the hell has curled one out into my lovely flowery bush…and why??!

fox

however, it does have a cat shit look about it 🙂

fox

👆 This.

That’s some weird poo but I guess it might just be fox as you have ruled out all the other possibilities.

however, it does have a cat shit look about it 🙂

If that is cat poo then it will stink to high heaven …

Bear

Looks like cat poo, grab its head (whilst wearing welding gloves) and rub it’s face in it, then hoof it back over the fence.

What is this?

Pooniversity Challenge?

Spider?

A big one obviously.

Impressive.

I’d say a malevolent midget. Keep an eye out.

I’m not discounting the cats, but:

a) it’s a remarkably tall cat (which next door’s aren’t) to achieve such a poo-height, and at the least it would have had to reverse into my foliage.

b) cats don’t crap generally in plants

c) it’s very, erm, lengthy….and has a white residue that suggests a flying dinosaur.

Two cats working together. One holding the other up. I hate cats.

Adult Robin.

What we need is more pictures of shit in this thread. Yep, definitely that. I could never get enough shit pics.

I take your point, but what did you expect from a thread where the title was about helping me identify a shit?

Plot twist: It’s the OP, and he just wants to show off his handiwork.

Must say I’m with tthew on this. I thought the thread title was a typo, so read it out of curiosity.
Did not expect macro turd shots.

Whatever it was, it’s probably dead by now ‘cos that’s not a good look!

Plop twist surely Jamie 🙂

Cat or fox I’d imagine. What does it smell like? Any fur or bones in it?

Surely the OP – after all bears do what in the woods? Usually of necessity at that.

Sea Eagle.🦅

What does it smell like?

I’m ashamed to say that I’ve been out in my dressing gown and got down on my hands and knees, and it doesn’t smell of anything.

Pooniversity Challenge?

Plopmaster?

quality camerawork.  I almost barfed

Chris Packhams your man, he is a turd maestro!

You animal

Hand standing honey badger. It uses its front paws and the tip of its nose to create a stable base and gain maximum rear elevation.

I’m ashamed to say that I’ve been out in my dressing gown and got down on my hands and knees, and it doesn’t smell of anything.

In that case NOT cat poo. I grew up with minimum 2 cats in the house (now 3) so you can call me an expert in cat poo. Cat poo stinks to high heaven regardless what you feed them. We feed them posh western dry food … still stink. Fed them local cooked fish … still stink. Conclusion is that cat poo all over the world stink to high heaven.

Note that I am only referring to their poo but wait till the little rascal start to pee in your shoes then you will know that cat pee is even worst, as it can be very difficult to get rid of no matter how many time you wash it.

A Flying Fox? It will be if the OP catches it! 😉

If it doesn’t smell then it’s probably bird, though you’d imagine more white stuff in there. Big heron maybe?

A cat with IBS.

Hand standing honey badger.

In my defence, I’ve never been able to do a hand stand.

My money is on the fox.They do it out of spite, I have finally decided. “Ours”,prefers to crawl under the fence rather than jump a measly 4 foot to our Neighbours & when we block it off ,the fox has a dirty protest on the lawn.
It also shit in one of my “yard” shoes ,the dirty git.

That’s some weird poo but I guess it might just be fox as you have ruled out all the other possibilities.

Fox poos are like a well formed dog turd with two unequal segments. It would also smell pretty bad.

Thats a bird shit. Something big… Crow or seagul.

I’m going with crow.

One wrong … Jumped the gun and didn’t see the third option.

https://www.rspb.org.uk/fun-and-learning/for-families/big-wild-sleepout/whose-poo/

That size and with a bit of white in it suggests a large bird. Any ponds nearby, if so could be a heron……………

Badger? Usually long and thin hard to tell without size. But if it is Badger they like to have a latrine so that’s now your pots.

Thanks for all suggestions (and the disgusting/hilarious quiz link).

It’s only a small, enclosed garden with just a 3″ gap around a couple of fence panels and whilst there is a pond nearby, surely an inflight heron would leave more of an impact rather than a tightly-curled gift.

Despite the grossness of it all, I’m genuinely baffled.

Badger? Usually long and thin hard to tell without size.

Badgers are short and fat.

Snakes are long and thin.

Are you 100% sure it’s a Hebe?

Perhaps it shat itself.

Fox poo stinks. My family dog used to roll in it and wear it as a perfum to attract the local hounds.
If Bear’s poo doesn’t smell it must be a herbivore…

If Bear’s poo doesn’t smell it must be a herbivore…

Bear poo smells of pepper and has bells in it.