I can make farting noises just using my hands. My Dad taught me.

I can make farting noises just using my hands

I can do this on my eye.

I can gain weight by just looking at food 😳

I am bigDave’s nemesis; I can untangle wires and coil them like a technology giotto

I can fix anything with a hammer
I can convince others to fix things for me before I wield the hammer

I once had written – with no apparent attempt at humour or irony – on an appraisal both ‘Alex has a singular ability to fire intellectual arrows at the heart of the periphery’ and ‘Alex sometimes wears his clock of knowledge rather too tightly’.

No idea what either of those meant, but they sound like superpowers 😉

I can tell a persons animal equivalent with uncanny accuracy. I can also spot strangers who look like older versions of people we know to a very high standard.

I can pick the wrong queue in any supermarket. Also, I can spell queue without looking it up.

Women find me irresistible, its actually a curse.

Alex has a singular ability to fire intellectual arrows at the heart of the periphery

Actual LOL. Are you chatty in work meetings maybe?

No idea on the other one.

I had a waterproof hands for a bit. It was an actual superpower…

I can grow body hair faster than a Yeti. Shave at 7am and by 10am it’s all back…..literally on my back…..legs…..chest…..face

Maybe i was snuggled by a radioactive sheep

Most humans have 32 teeth, 8 in each quarter of their respective mouths.

My mutant superpower was to have “nines”, an extra pre-molar in my right mandible.

I say past tense because it was cruelly removed by my arch nemesis, a villainous NHS dental surgeon. I shall be avenged.

Awesome at cooking curries.

I can buy bikes and bits for bikes. Although I don’t think this super power is rare amongst this forum, but it is everywhere else.

I can make farting noises just using my hands
I can do this on my eye.

Go on then.

I bet you can’t make Calgary win a game either. 😉

‘Good’ in bed doesn’t quite cut it. Nor does ‘very good’. I am, quite simply, exceptional in bed.

(I can sleep for hours and hours and hours and hours…)

I am exactly 1000x more annoying than the voice of Joe Pasquale.

I have the power of being able to remove the peel of an orange in one piece! I scoff at mere mortals who struggle, hacking away removing small pieces and generally getting covered in orange juice>
Now if I could just work out how to do this silently without the dog hearing me and giving me the saddest of looks that would be great.

I can drop toast butter side up.

Only done it the once mind, not going to spend took much time practicing. Prefer eating it.

I can make a nice cup of tea.

Many people have told me so.

Axe throwing.
Always a very satisfying thunk,but a useless skill unless the zombie apocalypse does happen.
Finding something with the STW search engine,yes I have done this.

I am Low Self Opinionman & I can always get parked in central London !!!

I know pi to 65 decimal places,

I can remember pie to Greggs.

I used to work in fine art transport – in the days before sat nav I used to be able to drive into any provincial town I hadn’t visited before and guess where the art gallery would be without looking at the map or the address on the delivery note.

Alex – Member
‘Alex has a singular ability to fire intellectual arrows at the heart of the periphery’

I love that this sounds like praise right up until the last word 😀

Meh, apathy.

Based on today’s trip from worcester to FOD and back, my super power appears to be using my indicators! Nobody else can manage it so it must be a rare gift, I shall wield it responsibly…..

procrastination

It’s by no means a superpower, but the most useless skill I have is being able to do 88 3-ball juggling tricks.

You lot are rank amateurs

Comic Timing!

Self-deprecation.

I can burp on demand and have taught one of my daughter’s to do the same.

I peel soft boiled eggs straight out the pan.
I know,I should just do poached eggs,but I is rubbish at them 🙄

I can maintain a chosen cadence and/or heartrate to with 1% for a given time. My coach tells me it’s quite unique, very intriguing, but ultimately useless.

And disco dancing. Super hero disco dancing.

150 rpm, at 190bpm, for 3 hours.

Go!!

150 rpm, at 190bpm, for 3 hours.

Haha, I wish… OK, let’s just say within the usual parameters of a mediocre club level cyclist!

I can spontaneously injure myself and not just on mountain bikes

There is video evidence somewhere of me diving from a springboard into the swimming pool and surfacing with a long bleeding cut on my forearm. Clearly not bleeding when I left the board. No contact with the sides or bottom of the swimming pool. Nothing anyone could find in the pool other than water. Freaked out the swimming teacher.