😀
was it the pretty pink bow?

We were in a similar position although we ha da tiny wedding for immediate family only and then a bit of a knees up for friends/family etc. Everyone wanted to buy us something but we had a great excuse – we had to fly back to NZ and couldn;t carry anything. SO we thought we got away with it – however we ended up with 10 grand in cash/cheques which was absolutely outrageous really. Gave half to charity and I spunked the other half on a Tallboy while the wife wasn;t looking 8)

Wedding lists are the height of vulgarity

I agree, it just seems rude to me. She didn't. So I had to spend a whole day traipsing round John lewis and all I got to choose for the list was a cordless screwdriver. What a load of bollocks.

No to lists, no to presents. We were grateful that our friends had dragged themselves across the country so to ask them for frippery would have seemed obscene. And we had paid for the wedding ourselves without family help & did not have the cash for a honeymoon. Taking a tradition designed to help youngsters set up a home and pervert it to supply unfettered consumerism is morally bankrupt. Be grateful your friends took the trouble to turn up and leave it at that.

Friend of mine got married in France (I was bridesmaid) but what was good was the weekend of the wedding they also have the village fete with lots of knick knack stalls and stuff, in the wedding invite they sellotaped a 2 euro coin and asked every to buy them a gift from the knick knack stalls for max 2 euros, then after dinner at the reception they would annouce the winners and people would get prizes. It was great there were sentimental stuff that the older generation bought like a battered old oil lamp symbolising the eternal flame, there was a book of the Karma Sutra, a penis salt and pepper set and we won a prize with the his and hers matching fake Ferrari watches in an authentic Chinese style box! Oh and I forgot the moose head…. we still don't believe someone spent 2 euros on it!
But it was fantastic, they gave out bottles of wine to various winning categories! Awesome do, one of THE best weddings I have been to!

Do not ask for cash I think it's offensive IMO. If you feel you have to ask for something then have the balls to put a wedding list together and do that instead.

So I had to spend a whole day traipsing round John lewis and all I got to choose for the list was a cordless screwdriver. What a load of bollocks.

Heh! You sound somewhat bitter, Greatape! 😆

The problem with bleating about the height of vulgarity is that vast numbers of guests have no taste whatsoever, and it's really heartbreaking when people act in good faith but don't know what to get so waste their hard-earned money on stuff that won't actually be used. It would have been much better if they'd kept their money for themselves than giving it to Mr Gift Shoppe.

The fact is that *some* people want to buy gifts and if you don't give them a clear idea of what you want, they'll have to make their best guess, which is usually wrong, which is like asking them to throw their money away. Even if you say "don't give us anything" people will want to.

You need to make sure that people don't feel awkward if they're broke or don't feel like splashing out, so make sure there's a lot of stuff at the 10-50 quid mark. No problem in putting bike bits, tools, flatpack, whatever on. No point in putting a **** telly on – no-one will buy it and you'll look like a ****. Make sure you do it at a shop which has a flexible returns policy and that you can get eBayable gift cards (usually get 80-90% of face value).

I don't think it's offensive to ask for cash (and in some cultures – not English – it's traditional just to give an envelope instead of fannying about with toasters) or to give cash. I've been to a couple of weddings where I flew in, had no idea what to give them bc I hadn't seen them in a while, and just gave an envelope. They were just as grateful as if I'd got them something – at least it will be useful to them (esp considering how expensive weddings are).

I actually got a whistling kettle as a birthday gift of the mate I mentioned earlier. It was an unwanted wedding gift of theirs. Something that wasn't on the JL list. Mind you, it was from her, as he's from Yorkshire and therefore wouldn't get me owt anyway. I suppose I should see it as a nice gesture, and be grateful, but in truth it was just a way for her to get rid of a bit of tat that she didn't want, and avoid spending any money. Piece of junk broke after 2 uses anyway, and got lobbed.

Do not ask for cash I think its offensive IMO. If you feel you have to ask for something then have the balls to put a wedding list together and do that instead.

What? How precious and delicate can you be to find the ‘invitation’ for money as offensive – a bit strong, no? Would this upsetting of your sensibilities be so grievous to you that you would actually take OFFENCE at someone who considers you such a friend that they would invite to their wedding? As far as balls and wedding lists go, what if people simply don’t want gifts as they have enough bed sheets and saucepans (forgive my lack of imagination). What difference does it make?

Chill out.