5am this morning, driving along the A6 from Hazel Grove towards Chapel-En-Le-Frith, 30mph zone, speed cameras, I’m doing 30mph.
Up behind me comes white van man – this is no ordinary WVM, this is 7.5t small white lorry man. Promoted from van driving, but not skilled enough to get his licence to drive a proper truck, his impatience and lack of road manners seem to have grown proportionately with the size of his vehicle.
Obviously in too much of a rush to care what the speed limit was, he proceeds to see just how close he can get to my rear bumper, to the point where I couldn’t see his headlights. Resisting the urge to give my brakes a quick dab, as tempting as it was to make him soil himself, I stuck to the speed limit – resolutely. From 30 to 40, back to 30 and so on and so forth.
I didn’t think he could get any closer, but apparently he could. At least now I could see his headlights, well, one of them anyway, as he hung his offside wheels over the white lines. I knew the more I was enjoying this, the more it was annoying him. I was satisfyingly smug – and didn’t budge from the limit.
This must have gone on for a good 10-15 minutes – all the way in fact, to the Chapel by-pass! You’d think he’d have got the message by now, but apparently not, judging by our front and rear ends virtually mating. Imagine my glee, when I realised very soon, the 30mph single carriageway went straight into a National Speed Limit dual carriageway straight off the next roundabout. I knew it was coming and I’m damn sure he knew it was coming. I floored it – 2.5litres of turbocharged diesel engine roared into life and 190 horses left him in a cloud of soot.
I wasn’t going to be a hypocrite, so stuck to 70 – I could still see him flashing his headlights at me half a mile up the road. I smiled!
So, the moral to my little anecdote – if you are going to be a complete tit, I can be an even bigger one 😉