This will probably be my last post on this thread.
We said goodbye to my wife, my son’s mother over 2 weeks ago now. It was a nice send off. So many people were there. She touched a lot of people’s lives. Standing room only in the crematorium. She was a teacher at the same infant / primary school all her life. All 5 headteachers she had worked with (3 now retired) attended as did many of her ex pupils who are now adults.
Before the service started there were a few seats left at the front, I guess people were reluctant to sit there. The celebrant beckoned people down and some of my son’s friends ended up sat at the front one next to me. I think she would have liked that.
Our son was brilliant on the day. I was very proud of him at the funeral and the celebration afterwards.
I’ve not returned to work yet. I went in to see them not long after the funeral. Became very emotional and realised I wasn’t ready. My employers, as ever, have been extremely understanding and have told me to take as long as I need.
I think there are two views on this. A lot of people telling me not to rush back, a lot of people asking when I’m going to start work. My counsellor suggested those that ask need some kind of assurance I’m “OK” and a return to work would confirm that.
Nothing has prepared me for the grief I have been experiencing since the funeral. I thought I’d had over 18 months to prepare. Apparently not. It feels very sad. Very final.
I want to get on with my plan to move into the closest town. There’s a lot of work involved. My wife was a hoarder. A lot of tidying / sorting needs to be done before I can get this place in a state where it would be marketed.
I’ve pressed the button on a new bike. I’ve bought a frame / forks and going to build it myself. It will be a nice project for myself and FGK Jr. It’s turned into a bit of a dream build (maybe you’ll work out who my other username is).
Thanks anyone who read / commented on this thread or messaged me directly over the last 20 months.