29er (bad) with Reba Maxles (good) built up with 8 foot of stem spacers (bad), a square taper BB (bad), Thomson bits (good), whichever on one/ragley/jones handlebar that is totally unsuitable for offroad is in vogue at the minute (very bad), cable discs (bad), a brooks saddle (bad) and crank bros pedals (bad). All powered by a 7 speed "will do 800,000 miles" groupset from Roman times.
Frame would prolly have to be an Inbred really, or a Swift.