Frying pans without lids.
No bloody use at all.

When on the motorway people who when overtaking you come to within three feet of your bumper, then slink around you like a cat brushing past, I tell you what, why not just pull out a sensible distance behind me, pass me and pull in when you’re a sensible distance in front of me and not two foot from my **** bonnet.

Simon Caldwell.
Wins awards for stating the bleeding obvious and gets wheeled out every time some non event happens to air travel.
Is there really no one else?

Yes, I mentioned Simon a while back.
He grates me badly.

Not completely sure why.

People who use screws outside that aren’t rust resistant. I really love removing 10 screws above my head from rotten fibreboard with heads that have rusted out.

You’d be better off using a screwdriver.

Can’t believe this thread has dropped to the bottom of page 3, you lot are getting far too tolerant.  Mine for today.

Cafes and restaurants that think having a plate of cold cooked food on display, complete with congealed grease will make you think ‘nom nom, I’m having that!

I’m sat bored in Lisbon airport departures and just glimpsed a fine example of the genre whilst grabbing a coffee. The glistening, cold fried egg in particular on a hideous looking breakfast made me do a mini retch. In what world is that a good marketing strategy?

People who have zero spatial awareness.

We have been going through weeks of roadworks here as they replace all the gas mains in the area, moving in stages around the local roads.  Driving around during the school run is even more infuriatingly mind-boggling than usual 😡

Someone with a tiny Aygo or something sitting there clogging up the entire road because they can’t fit their car through the gap… FFS you could fit a bus through there, sideways!

Actually I’m going to stop here because if I type everything frustrating about local drivers then STW’s servers will probably crash and Google will run out of drive space.

Specsavers.

Oh ok one more… where they’re working on a small section of the cycle lane at the edge of the main road and have put up “cyclists dismount” signs.

Stupid, pointless and even dangerous IMO. What, instead of moving slightly to the right and joining the traffic (there’s plenty of space, plus any normal cyclist would be there anyway due to potholes in the cycle lane but that’s another story) then cyclists should get of and wheel the bike through the narrow gap left for pedestrians, blocking the entire pathway? The entire section closed is probably less than 10m long anyway, on a clear stretch of road!

This probably is not even disproportionate… y’know if it’s still there I think I’ll take a photo and complain to the council or Cadent, whoever did this particular one.

People who have zero spatial awareness.

This, but on foot. I genuinely don’t understand how people can reach the age they do and be totally oblivious to the world around them. Unless you’ve actually got a disability, how hard can it be to walk in a ****ing straight line? Two people on a pavement / towpath / shopping aisle three metres wide and I’m doing the Ministry of Silly Walks trying to get past the docile bastards.

Two people on a pavement / towpath / shopping aisle three metres wide and I’m doing the Ministry of Silly Walks trying to get past the docile bastards.

When I rule the world they’ll need walking licenses. Gits.

I’ll just drop this in here…

Report it.  Thats illegal.

the absolute throbber that sits a few feet away from me, who starts to inhale when his mug of tea is around 5 or 6 inches away from his mouth, until it makes contact, which then produces a horrible slurping noise. Rinse and repeat until the mug is empty.

Thankfully he only has around 8 mugs a day…… some fookin people….. grrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaahhhhhhyouidiot.

Thats in between picking his nose and wiping it on the thigh of his trousers. Burn in hell pal, burn in hell.

Wordle.

People who thumb through MY paperwork doing that hideous licking your finger thing every page turn.

Thanks. My paperwork is now coated in your goz.

Eeewwww…

People who thumb through paperwork doing that hideous licking your finger thing every page turn.

Eeewwww…

Evri

Temporary traffic lights, governing a section of road with no roadworks. Northern Gas Networks recently did some works on my cycle route, finished work on the Friday, swept up, re seeded the verge packed their vans and left site. The lights remained in situ till the following Wednesday. I just cycled through the red lights, dodging into the coned off are if required. Poor motorists had to wait, and wait, and wait.
I guess that’s what happens when the jobs get sub contracted to different companies. Obviously not Gas Networks job to move the lights!

I just cycled through the red lights,

Bloody cyclists 😊

The many queues and checks required at an airport. How many times do I have to queue to show my passport and boarding pass. Just do everything at check in and perform the security check there. If you get on the wrong plane after that you’re an absolute tool who shouldn’t be allowed to leave the country.

Also the tw4ts who still have liquids in their hand luggage, it’s not like it’s a new check that’s caught you out.

People on Marketplace who say they’ll come at 6 to look at your HVLP paint sprayer you’re selling and so you battle traffic across town to get to where it’s stored at 5.45 on account of having some human decency, hang around there until half six whereupon you phone the person to ask if they’re stuck in traffic or something and they say, ‘oh sorry mate yeah, I’m just in the shower but I’ll leave in a bit’…

😡😡😡 Absolute weapon. We said six and I’ve wasted my evening now you total arse. Shove the HVLP sprayer up yourself! 😡

People… sorry, scumbags that win an eBay auction then just ghost you.

yeah I am annoyed you don’t want the item you outbid 30 other people on, but at least have the common decency to say ‘sorry, I made a mistake and don’t need the item now’.

absolute divs.

Myself, for riding distractedly through some crumbling road surface this morning and pinch-flatting both tyres on my winter bike.

People who thumb through paperwork doing that hideous licking your finger thing every page turn.

Gross. Why are you letting them lick your fingers?

The M6

Unless you’ve actually got a disability, how hard can it be to walk in a ****ing straight line?

Well, impossible if they’re glued to their phone, it seems.

Frying pans without lids.

I read this at some point as frying pans without handles, and that I could understand, that would make me cross. Frying pans without lids, just don’t buy them!

Not being able to remember the one thing I recently remembered that recently made me disproportionately cross.

Misleading food labeling that claims a product to be a certain proportion free of something.

It is not “98% sugar free”, it contains 2% sugar.

98% sugar free would be a product where 2% of the product had sugar in it and the rest had none.

Conference coffee in those insulated flask jug thingies. It‘s always rank.

C’mon if you can put on a conference at least provide hot liquid that resembles coffee not brackish Luke warm water that tastes like tree bark. FFS 

The split in my thumbnail that is catching on everything and is just too deep to trim or file off

Fat Labradors dogs

Car bumpers.

Design brief: Minimal size,strong, scuff resistant, easily and cheaply replaced if damaged parts of the car which protect the expensive bits and your no claims bonus from low speed impacts and ‘exploratory’ parking.

Execution: Massive,eggshell thin, colour coded body panels taking up most of the front and back of the vehicle, 10mm off the road, brimming with easily damaged expensive electronics which cost more than the nearest body panel to replace if they can be and require an engine drop and tailgate removal to do so….

Mate reversed his BMW EV into a low bollard at about 5mph – Nearly £5k

See also Wing Mirrors

Technical advisors who spend longer finding a technical reason to refuse to answer your query than it would take to **** tell you what you want to know.

Conference coffee in those insulated flask jug thingies

Coftea? You’re never quite really sure what it actually is?

Mine was getting a Norwegian container of range stew when on the range, only to find upon opening that it was some honking tomato based pasta abomination.

I’m muddy, piss-wrapped and cold. That isn’t helping matters.

People who park on the street instead of on their driveways.

People who park on pavements. Bastards!

People who don’t rinse properly after doing the dishes so the plate now makes everything taste mildly of washing up liquid.

People who tap along to music, just slightly out of time.

I remember now!

People who park in the parking space but with the wheels touching the kerb so the front or rear of their vehicle massively overhangs the pavement. Dip shits.