Stuff that makes you disproportionately cross

Cops are the worst for it

Fat cops who look like they’ve dressed in the dark in clothes that are either 3-4 sizes too small for their giant lardy arses or shapeless sacks that are creased and make them look like bin men/women. I mean, I know that modern cops uniforms are all about the utility these days, but getting trousers that fit you (even if you’re 5’6″ and close on 18 stone) shouldn’t be that hard, surely? There goes the ‘majesty of the law’ hitching up its strides as they waddle betwixt car to Greggs with barely a glance for anything but pastie

Being unable to set up a three way with my wife also makes me disproportionately cross….video or no video

I’m sure it won’t be too difficult to find an accommodating guy to help with that.

Screaming kids on aeroplanes and parents who can’t control said kids.

Screaming kids on aeroplanes and parents who can’t control said kids.

Don’t have kids, eh?

Well being a parent I can tell you that A) we enjoy this situation just as much as you do, but with added embarrassment and B) “controlling” a screaming child who is in a strange situation making them overexcited, overtired, nervous or scared (or all at once) is just as easy as refraining from hitting the insufferable bar steward 2 seats over who is tutting and sighing and rolling their eyes.

There, that’s my disproportionate anger for the day out of the way :)

Some adverts have been getting to me.

1. Nissan electric car ones! “Who said excitement isn’t the new progression to living gracefully?” – “Who said electricalness wasn’t the best thing since sliced facial features?” – “Who said money doesn’t grow out of bees anuses?” – NO-one! NobODY Ever said any of THSOE **** THIngs!! SHUT UP!

2. Welsh throbber advertising some comparison site. Trying to turn the annoying git into a celebrity. Please go away

3. LG fridge… please tell me nobody on earth has ever needed a fridge that lights up so they can stare inside without opening the bloody door!

there are more but I’m too annoyed to think of them

Nissan electric car ones! “Who said excitement isn’t the new progression to living gracefully?” – “Who said electricalness wasn’t the best thing since sliced facial features?” – “Who said money doesn’t grow out of bees anuses?” – NO-one! NobODY Ever said any of THSOE **** THIngs!! SHUT UP!

…And there’s today’s post giving me a hernia trying not to laugh at work 🤣

3. LG fridge… please tell me nobody on earth has ever needed a fridge that lights up so they can stare inside without opening the bloody door!

Scratches magic door fridge off list of “things to buy when I’ve won the lottery…” 😬

Don’t have kids, eh?

Good advice.

please tell me nobody on earth has ever needed a fridge that lights up so they can stare inside without opening the bloody door!

Disproportionately crossmaking: people in supermarkets who open glass freezer doors in order to look what’s inside.

Donating blood. I love the NHS but why does evrry donation session have to involve Classic Hits FM at 500 decibels so you can’t hear anything the staff say and there are ads every 30 seconds? The music these days is just noise, you can’t hear the words etc etc…

Myself for not being able to understand why people don’t answer the questions you ask them when they have asked for help to debug a problem.  I often ask questions to eliminate what the cause isn’t but that is clearly confusing so they tell me something else instead.  Drives me mad but it’s not their fault

Donating blood. I love the NHS but why does evrry donation session have to involve Classic Hits FM at 500 decibels so you can’t hear anything the staff say and there are ads every 30 seconds? The music these days is just noise, you can’t hear the words etc etc…

I doubt I’ll bother again after my last visit, it was like the Spanish inquisition…

What blood type is it?

Who’s blood is it?

Why is it in a bucket?

Funerals in church.

My Godfather sadly died recently. He had a good run as they say.
Lovely man. I loved hearing all about his amazing life from his 3 sons and friends.

But what was an otherwise lovely service, was blighted by adverts. 😐

I see what you did there. But the clue is in the name ‘god’father.

I cremated my mum recently. (Well, not personally.) Any bloke in a frock present would have been a lifestyle choice. These ceremonies are what people choose.

What blood type is it?

Who’s blood is it?

Why is it in a bucket?

Copyright Gary Deleney ;-)

@johndoh

That’s him! I couldn’t for the life of me remember where I first heard that :D

I see what you did there. But the clue is in the name ‘god’father.

I think many people, especially 50 years ago, perhaps nominated people close to them but unrelated, more out of recognition of that closeness and a sense of tradition, rather than devout faith in a deity. My parents have never been religious but myself and my two siblings all had godfathers/mothers.
Kind of like picking a best man, but for your baby, and someone who might stand a chance of being responsible should the worst happen.

These ceremonies are what people choose.

Indeed, I fully respect that, and that is my proportionate side.
My disproportionate side however, would much rather just hear about his life without the frequent plugging of the big man.

@ossify,We made sure our

kids were old enough to understand that they were going on a completely new experience before we took them on an airplane and that they would have to sit in one place for a few hours.       But then if you want to drag young kids on a plane before they are ready so you can have a holiday that’s up to you

@sargey, we took our son on a plane at six months so that his grandmother could meet him before dementia took too great a hold of her, not exactly a holiday.

People making uninformed assumptions is my particular bugbear 😉

the frequent plugging of the big man.

… or woman.

@sargey, we took our son on a plane at six months so that his grandmother could meet him before dementia took too great a hold of her, not exactly a holiday.

I have a pretty special photo of my oldest kid aged nine months, being held by his great grandma the only time she met him. The biggest smile on her face. 24 hours of flight time to enable that one meeting.

Couldn’t give a **** what anyone else on the plane thought.

I think something has disproportionately irked reeksy :P

People who complain about young children on a flight. If you want peace and quiet while flying you should have worked harder and taken your corporate jet. It’s public transport FFS. 

4 way temporary traffic lights with about a ten minute cycle on the way to drop the car off for an MOT this morning.  what’s worse is I know I’ll have to go back through them later to get the car from that industrial estate. 

Drivers speeding 

Drivers parking their vehicle on the pavement.

Hmm, two for the price of one

People who don’t wear earplugs on flights so they can complain about screaming children!  Yes I hate screaming children and am a firm believer in children should be seen but not heard however earplugs are a simple solution.

Oh and “cyclists dismount” signs on cycleroutes.  WTF – they have no legal standing at all and are a sign of a badly designed cycle route

Screaming kids on aeroplanes and parents who can’t control said kids

Kids cry and are annoying. You were a kid once. You cried and annoyed people once. Soon you’ll be dead. Circle of life, mate. Get over it

People who complain about young children on a flight. If you want peace and quiet while flying you should have worked harder and taken your corporate jet. It’s public transport FFS.

i cant remember exactly where it was, some internal flight in the US. i got sat next to a mother with two small children, one on her lap, one in the seat next to me. it was a full flight.

once everyone has boarded, she asked me very nicely if I’d mind swapping with her husband, who was sat on his own, much further up the plane. she thought I was a charming english gentleman for agreeing, he looked proper pissed off when I tapped him on the shoulder and told him. I think he’d booked a seperate seat deliberately…

🤣 Oh, I do hope so.

People who complain about young children on a flight. If you want peace and quiet while flying you should have worked harder and taken your corporate jet. It’s public transport FFS.

I’ll remember that next time I’m halfway over the Atlantic, when I blaze up a joint and drop some phat beatz at full volume on my phone.

Drivers speeding

Drivers parking their vehicle on the pavement.

Hmm, two for the price of one

Speeding whilst parked is impressive. Does the limit say “reverse only”? 😁

Screaming kids on aeroplanes and parents who can’t control said kids.

Having been one of those parents, this now makes me smile and feel happy that although the noise can be annoying, it’s Not My Problem,

When people say they’ll come and see you at lunch.

Urm no, it’s lunch. I’m having my lunch.
Come when it’s working time you melt.

People saying ‘bless you’ when I sneeze.

I sneeze a lot, stop blessing me, I don’t want to be blessed.

drivers, mostly lorry drivers, that move into the outside lane, doing 60, to let car drivers coming in on a slip lane just drive on. you’re supposed to give way on a slip lane, not have everyone slow down to 45 just to let you carry on. outside lane is for overtaking, not seeing how many slow drivers you can make way for
and while youre at it, outside lane is not for lorry drivers to drive alongside each other for 5 miles, and pretend their overtaking. Theyre still going to be in the same queue for the same ferry in 5 hours time
Let car drivers get on with their journey 70 is not 50

Cars doing pointless overtakes when you are on your bike.  I m doing 16 mph, the speed limit is 20 and 200 yards ahead is a queue of cars at a set of traffic lights.  I’m going to pass that whole line of cars before the lights change, you are going to be behind the same car.  Just effing why bother.  Petrol wasting fuds

to let car drivers coming in on a slip lane just drive on. you’re supposed to give way on a slip lane

Slightly different take on the same issue, people joining from a slip onto, say a motorway… not matching the speed of the traffic on the motorway and expecting a space to be made for them, either speed up or slow down and fall in line.. there is litterally a give way line on entry!

It is not for the people already on the motorway to create a gap for you! They may pull into the middle lane if it helps the general flow, but don’t expect it, as they might be in the process of being overtaken also, which would make it an unsafe move. Learn how to read the road!

People saying ‘bless you’ when I sneeze.

The word is that if you say ‘thank you’ to their ‘bless you’ a fairy dies.

Fat cops

Fair. Same with fat squaddies, absolute messes.

On the blood trip, fricking blood type patches and/or tattoos. A fad that medics ignore because rules.

Cars doing pointless overtakes when you are on your bike.

It’s not just bikes, I got overtaken in my car in a 30 zone when I slowed down slightly for a speed bump.

Some twunt in a Q7 with tinted windows, they didn’t gain anything, as predicted the lights changed to red about 100 yards further on… they did lose about £3 in fuel and 6 months wear on thier tyres in the space of about 5 seconds, though. Slow clap for that one!

Ohhh – I have been known to overtake cars slowing for speed bumps when on my bike.  Some of the bigger ones make nice wee jumps.

Just me being childish