Stuff that makes you disproportionately cross

People don’t peel carrots? First against the wall when I’m in charge.

Nobody lies on their death bed wishing they’d spent more time peeling carrots.
Satsumas, yes. Carrots, no.

People don’t peel carrots? First against the wall when I’m in charge

People who waffle at great length about tying shoelaces. Shoelaces FFS! 🙄 Any last requests? 😉

This will blow your mind. I never peel carrots, parsnips,  mushrooms,  potatoes*  or tomatoes. Life is too short and the most nutritious and best tasting part of most veg is the skin. A quick scrub/wash and jobs a good un.

*except (reluctantly) for mash. For chips, wedges, roasters, boiled tatties I simply CBA and reckon they taste all the better for it.

As I am now discovering. I couldn’t describe how I tie laces but my hands absolutely know and are not happy about the change

String Theory? 😁

Do the bow as you always have, reverse the initial knot.

I never peel carrots, parsnips, mushrooms, potatoes* or tomatoes.

I always knew you were a ****ing deviant.

Mash can be the one you don’t need to peel. Take baby potatoes almost cooked through, transfer to a wok with chopped spring onions and too much butter that have been sizzling for a couple of minutes, bash it all together. Bit of salt, herbs du jour, You’ll never want regular mash again.

Look at your laces right now, are they straight or are they at a pissed angle? If they’re crooked then you’re probably tying them wrong.

[looks at laces, is smug…]

Look at your laces right now, are they straight or are they at a pissed angle? If they’re crooked then you’re probably tying them wrong

I humbly refer your honours to the comment I made some pages back about tying coats, jumpers etc around waists with reef knots versus granny knots. Verily ’tis the same bloody thing.

It is. (I think I replied at the time, also?)

You did indeed. We appeared to be a minority of two; heyho

Training courses where the trainer spends the first hour on an introduction which isn’t particularly helpful and could have been done in ten minutes. 

At this rate I’m going to struggle to do all three sessions.

Training courses where the trainer spends the first hour on an introduction which isn’t particularly helpful and could have been done in ten minutes.

Followed by “let’s go around the room and introduce ourselves.”

No. Just no. I tend to stay awake just long enough in sessions like this to appreciate that the content might be mildly interesting in the hands of a competent person.

I’ll add to this mandatory computer-based training that’s the same irrelevant content every year and which lacks a fast-forward button.

mandatory computer-based training that’s the same irrelevant content every year and which lacks a fast-forward button

They’ve changed ours so that we can read a short summary and go straight to the test, far better.

let’s go around the room and introduce ourselves.

Creeping Death is the preferred term I believe.
Nothing makes me disproportionately cross. My anger and frustration is always perfectly balanced on an objective level.  😜

Training courses where the trainer spends the first hour on an introduction

Any trainer who uses or advocates the Tell them what you’re going to tell them, tell them, tell them what you told them method.
**** *****”** ***** stupid ****”

Training courses that “raise awareness” instead of telling you stuff to do and not do. You’re the instructor, instruct me!

Teaser marketing emails that say “exciting announcement coming soon!”

Listen, pal, when you’ve decided what you want to say, say it.

Nobody lies on their death bed wishing they’d spent more time peeling carrots.
Satsumas, yes. Carrots, no.

Come again. You’re saying people die wishing they’d peeled more satsumas? Well that’s the first i’ve heard of it.

And “I’m not a robot” can get to ****!

That isn’t a motorbike anyway, it’s a moped. So you’re wrong anyway. Now let me in!

And “I’m not a robot” can get to ****!

That isn’t a motorbike anyway, it’s a moped. So you’re wrong anyway. Now let me in!

And, do I click the square with 1/16th of the wheel in it or not…………

And, do I click the square with 1/16th of the wheel in it or not…………

It’s probably not looking for absolute accuracy anyway. It’s looking for whether you’re going “do I click the square with 1/16th of the wheel in it or not” like a human would.

Gift bags.
Why TF do we have a drawer full of them that only multiplies and I’m not allowed to get rid? 😐

Date codes.

Just write the date FFS.

Why TF do we have a drawer full of them that only multiplies and I’m not allowed to get rid? 😐

Because you can reuse them! Nothing says “I love you” like a gift bag that’s been crumpled at the back of a drawer for years.

One of my exes, at Christmas her dad would have everyone open their presents carefully so that he could try and salvage the wrapping paper.

Folk in the street that get their bins emptied but take 3 maybe 4 days to take them back round to where they should be kept not on the pavement 

Probly bin dun but …

people who sit on the weights machines for ages between “sets” I get that you’re “recovering” but people have recovered from open heart surgery in less time, and if it really DOES take you that long, then why don’t you **** off and recover elsewhere so I can use the machine while you do your Facebook ?

Another that may have been done.  People who say ‘fur babies’.  I just unwisely went on the local facebook page to check on which roads were open after the flooding and was met by people stressing about collecting their ‘fur babies’ from ‘doggy day care’.  I’m not belittling their concern for their pets, just their vomit inducing choice of words.

Oh… local facebook groups

People who call each other ‘hun’

People who say ‘fur babies’.

But how will they find their forever home after the other pet has passed over the rainbow bridge?

These are the same people who dress up their cats and dogs in little outfits. I love animals but jesus christ, go and get laid already.

People who call each other ‘hun’

On that note,

“u ok hun?”

People who shorten already diminutive words. Like “you” is so complex. It’s harder to read and these days it’s harder to type. A while back someone was talking about their dorta, that took me a minute to decipher.

Look at your laces right now, are they straight or are they at a pissed angle? If they’re crooked then you’re probably tying them wrong.

I. Don’t. Care. I have increasingly painful joints in my thumbs and wrists, so as long as my laces are tight enough my shoes stay on, I’m perfectly happy.

Anyone looking at someone else’s shoes and tutting about their laces, needs to find a mirror and have a long and involved conversation with themselves about their life choices. 🙄

Gift bags

We have a couple of these that are purposely ‘recycled’ each year. Each year we give our friends a bottle of wine in a gift bag, and they do likewise for us. The following year we repeat the process, using the bag each other gave the year before. Think we’ve managed 10+ years still using the same 2 bags 😁

People who ask you a question on whatsapp but **** off even if you answer immediatly and don’t reply again for hours.  I think I’m too old for modern messaging, i need to treat it like telegrams really

I. Don’t. Care. I have increasingly painful joints in my thumbs and wrists, so as long as my laces are tight enough my shoes stay on, I’m perfectly happy.

Slip ons are beckoning and cardigans with patches on the elbows and maybe a nice pair of beige crimplene ‘slacks’? 😉

I. Don’t. Care. I have increasingly painful joints in my thumbs and wrists, so as long as my laces are tight enough my shoes stay on, I’m perfectly happy.

All the more reason to do it properly so you don’t need to do it again. 😁

Anyone looking at someone else’s shoes and tutting about their laces, needs to find a mirror and have a long and involved conversation with themselves about their life choices. 🙄

I saw some mirrored shoes in a shop window once. I thought, “I could see myself in those…”

Poor, lazy grammar such as this phrase, from a BBC article about a Govt policy report on wildlife reintroductions, which apparently “shows that one in six UK species are at risk of extinction”
You need an ‘is’ there, not an ‘are’. So much for professional journalism.

“One in six” doesn’t refer to a singular species, but a huge number of species that make up that proportion of all species. Your house style guide might prefer different use of language, but the BBC grammar is fine.

Yeah, nice catch. If it was “one of six” then it should be ‘is,’ but I’m fairly sure there’s more than six species in total. Compare “around 17% of species [is|are] at risk.”

£100 parking fine for 5 mins in a loading bay on a Sunday morning but not got the correct vehicle to use a loading bay

Greedy councils hate them with a passion

Hotel restaurants that serve fish and chips on fake newspaper. The plate you provided as well would have done FFS. Oh, and while I’m on the subject, stop plastering the lifts, room, welcome info, bathroom with notices extolling your green virtues regarding use of, and replacement of towels. I hung mine up, as I do every time, yet still you insist on replacing them daily…I’d prefer it if you’d focus on dusting and hoovering tbh.

So much for professional journalism.

I think you are missing slightly more serious failures of professional journalism

but the BBC grammar is fine.

Looks like we’ll have to agree to disagree on the grammar; I appreciate the context refers to many species, but nonetheless the subject of that specific sentence was ‘one species’. Therefore ‘are’ doesn’t feel right. And it was only one example of plenty others like what I’ve seen recently.
Let’s not forget this is all about disproportionate crossness 😉

the subject of that specific sentence was ‘one species’

No, it wasn’t. Clearly. Taking half the words out of a clause completely changes the meaning.

It would be better to get more angry about UK habitat loss and fragmentation.

[ I’ve gone all fun police, sorry. I started off trying to dissipate some anger, now I just feel like a bore. ]

People who get all serious on humorous threads.