Not managed anything that spectacular.

Did get Colin* the C-max airborne on the North York Moors whilst driving like a bit of a dick which may have put the tracking out.

*good dependable name, but a bit dull, no action hero will ever be called Colin.

Also launched a Mk2 Cortina off a humped back bridge and the front lh shocker came up through the inner wing and lifted the bonnet. Snapped the exhausted and broke the boot lid lock. Now that was a odd drive home.
Plus managed to shoot my van windscreen when out Rabbiting. Loaded the rifle (.22 rimfire) and when closing the bolt the firing pin did not stay in place and shot a hole from the inside out. Just so happened I had some silicone in the van as it was raining. Bolt was faulty as it turned out.

on a school trip to N yorks reversed the minibus 1 cm too far and hit the rudder bracket on the end of a derelict boat they had carefully moved 2 miles from any water,showered the cool kids at the back with bits of toughened glass, I think door got replaced… expensive trip for someone. 😳
drove mg midget into fence post on mums drive as i was watching rather well trimmed girl walk by.
took car on test drive… it got towed back after I rolled it into a ditch landing on its roof in a field. Incident free for many years now

Chain drilled a hole in the bulkhead so the cam from a 2.0 Ford Pinto engined’ Capri could come out through the radio slot, as it saved taking the head off.

Walking home from the pub with a mate, walked past my car and gesticulated with my foot while saying, “look at that piece of ****”. Misjudged how close I was and put my foot through the fog light, not my proudest moment! Needless to say Sunday morning was removal of both front fogs for good!

Where do I start…..? A few highlights. Austin 1300 Super DeLuxe (TFF 664 F?) drowned in a Welsh nature reserve lake. I didn’t learn, almost did a similar thing years later in Iceland (but not with the Austin 1300).

On honeymoon in N Wales, driving down the Llanberis Pass in rain and fog I stopped to give a couple of hitchikers a lift. All electrics on to try to clear the windows caused the dashboard to belch smoke and everybody to abandon ship by the Cromlech Boulders.

I had a Mk II Escort for about three weeks before it spun 360 on the ice, hit the wall, another wall and then a bus. End of the escort (SLP 190 P?)

Bike/barrier interface with a twist. Trying to take a shortcut off the Dover Calais ferry. Needed a new back wheel for Boy 2’s bike, plus a new roof rail for the car. Oops. Mrs A was good about it though, just as well because not much later she managed to let the car roll backwards with the driver’s door open and tear the door the wrong way.

And I seem to get through Berlingo windscreens like crazy. The last time the guys came round to work to replace it they said ‘we’ve been here before haven’t we?’ I replied that they had said that the last time that they were there too.

The job we were on was some Flashdance of flats in Docklands with under ground parking.

Am I the only one confused by this?

Nope. I might have had a drink or two so I just thought that I was being befuddled by beer.

I’ve only ever dinged my car once. I cycle to work, MrsH drives. One day I had to take the car home, so I cycled over to where she had parked it, put the bike in the back, and got in. It was reverse-parked into a space at 90 degrees to the road, front bumper about a foot from the road edge. I wanted to turn left, but the road was very busy. After about a minute I spotted a gap, just about big enough that if I didn’t hang about I could get out without unduly holding up the following car. Off I went…

Except I had approached the car from the driver’s side, and had only gone as far as the boot, then back to the driver’s door. What I hadn’t seen (and didn’t know was there, as it wasn’t somewhere I ever park) was a big fat wooden bollard about a foot to the left of the front left wing. It was about three feet high, our car is an SUV so the post wasn’t visible from the driver’s seat.

I managed to dent the front wing, both doors, the rear wing and the panel that goes under the doors by the time I’d reacted and stopped 😳

Don’t have a license or a car. Did have a shot of an old banger in my cousins field over in Donegal years ago. Ending up rallying it towards and down a ditch, had to get a tractor to pull it back out. there endith my driving career! 😆

Trying to kill an annoying fly in my company car, It taunted me for hours (well, about 20 minutes), knowing I hated it, but it also knew how not to get sucked out of any of the windows I’d been opening to encourage it out and hopefully into oncoming motorway traffic.

There it was taunting me, sticking one finger up at me, darling me to swipe at it as it sat on my windscreen, so swipe,I did, a proper slap, it sprang away like a ninja fly that it was, and the force of my slap smashed my windscreen…I’m sure I could hear it snigger.

Apparently they’re re not very strong when hit from the inside.

I crashed into my own garage wall at the first attempt at parking the car inside. Squished a load of mounts under the bumper and re-spray needed. And I have parking sensors. I’m just a crap driver.

shermer75 – Member
The job we were on was some Flashdance of flats in Docklands with under ground parking.
Am I the only one confused by this?

Not as much as I am by this:

I reversed an offshore power boat over my 911…

Mrs Tired took our vento through the car wash. With the roof rack. Not so bad, except the roof rack had a bike rack. Still not so bad, except next to the bike rack was the tandem rack. That protruded two feet in front of the roof bars.

well the horizontal brushes went under the rack, ripped bars bike and tandem rack clean off, flung it around and jammed the car wash. Damage to car was relatively minimal. Damage to car wash the same. How nobody was injured, I don’t know.

I cheekily parked my Mini pick up on double yellow lines when a traffic warden appeared. I jumped back in having spied a now vacant space a few cars behind me.. Looking back over my left shoulder I pulled the drivers door “closed’. However the clunk the seatbelt buckle made against the door bin sounded exactly like the the lock operating. The door swung open when I quickly reversed and hit a signpost ripping it clean off its hinges.

All I could do was put the door in the back of the pick up and drive back from Edinburgh across the Forth Road Bridge to Fife. The lady in the bridge toll booth laughed.

I found an almond green door from a mk1 mini saloon in a scrap yard the next day. It had less rust than the one that was twenty five years younger.

It’s only now, more than a decade later that i realise how **** up she was.

Says you, who drove your car into the side of your house just to spite her 😆

When I was a kid I decided to put the cat on the car bonnet. The cat wasn’t happy about it, and my mum wasn’t very happy with al th claw marks…

Leaving the Cairngorm Brewery, reversed into a small bollard i didn’t see and clipped the nearside rear arch/wheel. Decided to leave the car in the car park and take the scenic walk back to the Boat of Garten.

when I was 14 my dad bought me an old mini to thrash round the farm learn to drive in.

i drove it into a tree. the only tree in a very large field. I was trying to see how close I could drift a corner to the tree. to close as it happened.

Drove flat bed lorry into giant haybale stack to see what a collision was like. Who knew lorries could bounce backwards.

I used to work in the offices of a haulage company. Our Crewe office had five new Scania trucks running most days in rotation on contract for a well known then GM owned brand.

One morning, I picked up the phone and spoke to an irate manager from Crewe. Apparently, it transpired that two drivers had decided to settle a bet to be first out of the depot gates. The inevitable accident resulted in one Scania written off, the second Scania in the repair shop for a month and the depot gates had to be replaced.

When I used to smoke, I set fire to the seat I was sitting on attempting to throw a spent cig out of the window in slow moving traffic on the M25. This slow moving traffic meant it took a while to get over to the hard shoulder by which time my trousers were smoking as well. I then ran up and down attempting to put myself out much to the amusement of the passing traffic.

In related news, about two months later I was run over and knocked out crossing the road to buy some cigs. It was at this point I couldn’t but agree with the slogan that ‘smoking damages your health’ 😉

I drove my Mum’s car into my Dad’s car pulling onto the driveway. The combined age of the vehicles was 4 weeks.

The FIL has a strange thing going on with postmen, cold callers etc. He doesn’t like them walking past his living room window on their way to next door’s house so he parks his car as close as possible to the window so they have to walk round and go via the pavement.

To date he has creased the boot lid, cracked the spoiler and scuffed the bumper.

The driveway is also insanely steep and bordered either side with rockeries just to make it more difficult. Obv the lower edges of the doors have a number of dents in them

I’ve also rammed a Royal Navy training vessel in Oban Harbour whilst attempting to moor a fishing boat on the pier. Basically our gear cable snapped and we put a big dent in them. That was a fun conversation.

Brand new car – and my first ever brand new car at that. Drove to Wales to go to a wedding and I said to my wife (then GF) ‘watch out, there’s a low wall on your side’. She responded with a snidey ‘yes I know, I’m not **** stupid you know’.

Bet you can’t guess what happened next.

👿

In related news, about two months later I was run over and knocked out crossing the road to buy some cigs. It was at this point I couldn’t butt agree with the slogan that ‘smoking damages your health’

FTFY

A 5 litre container of engine oil tipped over and spilled in my boot.

It soaked into the boot carpet, then ran down the seat backs and cushions, soaking into the foam and then into the main carpet too. Everything was drenched in oil.

You couldn’t sit in the car without wretching the smell was so strong.

Had to buy a whole new car interior off ebay, then someone crashed into it before I got the chance to fit it.

One particular mate managed to prang a new-to-him secondhand Octavia before he’d even left the dealership. He’d been in to test drive it, was happy enough, agreed to buy etc. Went back a week later to pick it up and it occurred to him that it was running when he arrived for the test drive, so he’d never seen it cold started. Once he’d sorted all the paperwork he went out with the keys, hopped in, turned it over; completely neglected to realise that it was left on the forecourt with the the handbrake off and in gear, and jumped it into the BMW parked in front of him.

Mind you, this is also the numpty who bent both his bumper and that of another friend’s Mazda 6 Sport, while trying to pull in close enough in a car park that he could throw cake through their open passenger window.

Was up at the Wight Max race site the Friday before the event visiting some mates who were camping there. There was a nice gravel track up to the camping area and I giving it some at all was going well. Until the grass bit in between the wheel ruts got a bit higher and the large stone made quite a large bang. It put a nice dent in the crossmember and pushed it back a couple of inches. Handling was rather “interesting” until i got round to replacing it.

I was guiding my GF back towards my parked car when she was turning round in the driveway, I told her to stop and she carried on, putting a bit of dent in the front wing, I then lost my shit and proceeded to kick the wing in properly whilst she drove off. I was wearing slippers at the time!

I reversed an offshore power boat over my 911…

More detail: We had a company offshore power boat (dont ask). I was at my fellow owners place in my rather lovely 993 when he asked me to shift it. It was being towed by a Ford F150. In a total brain fart i forgot where my car was and the combined size and weight meant i barely noticed as the boat mounted the bonnet of my prized Porsche ! I actually cried tears that day. Everyone laughed the heartless b…..

Had a 1985 Mini and me and the other half were having a weekend in the Lake District. We stopped off at Ullswater on the way back for a wander and I left the sidelights on which flattened the battery so it wouldn’t start.

Managed to collar someone with jump leads and then I had a brainfart and opened the bonnet to get to the battery which was was in the boot. Anyway, got the car started and went on our way. Over Hartside pass heading towards Hexham we got to a straight bit so I went to overtake something or other. At this point it became apparent that I had not closed the bonnet properly as it was now vertical and blocking my view of the road in front. At this point I was doing 60ish on the wrong side of the road. I needed new pants and a new bonnet, I had to jump on it to close it, luckily the windscreen was fine.

Not me, but an old colleague had a lovely Alfa 147 slecta-something anyway it had a new for the time semi-auto gearbox – wasn’t her fault but it shifted into reverse, 1st or somewhere in between and the gearbox shat itself, big mess, hole in the thing found herself doing motorway speeds in lane 3 without power steering and power brakes got it stoped safely.

Obviously pretty flustered after that, who wouldn’t be! Greenflag took her to Hertz, company sorted a car for her – but she’s still in bits, puts it in reverse instead of 1st, panics when it goes the wrong way and floors it and slams it into a car behind – hence our vehicle leasing expert manages to write off 3 cars in a day.

Parked my motorbike close to the back of my car, set off on bike but forgot to take off the disc lock so stopped dead and dropped the bike onto the car. Big scratch in the bumper and a bent brake disc on the bike. Oops.

ahen I worked in a scrap yard we parked various vehicles in the shed at closing time.

Went out to get a fire engine that was brought in. Lights out in shed, went hopped in fire engine and lined up to reverse into shed, went in, then bang!

Turns out a customer decided we were still open so to nipped in quickly (dark car in dark shed). I reversed rear ladders into an open boot lid and. Bent it nicely.

I flung open the boot on my (new at the time) Focus while on the Eurotunnel. Went straight up and smacked the (angular, metal) ceiling. Nice dent and a load of scratches in the boot lid. Brilliant start to the holiday 8)

Paddling my KTM through the garage I caught my camelback straps on a hook in the wall. This pulled me off the bike, which continued out the back of the garage and into one of my cars parked outside.

Parked my motorbike close to the back of my car, set off on bike but forgot to take off the disc lock so stopped dead

Disc locks are evil. Got slightly merry having accidentally encountered Octoberfest in Stuttgart during one bike trip. The next morning, very much worse for ware, I went to set off from the hotel. CLUNK! and down I went, having failed to remove the lock. I then proceeded to melt my bike jacket on the hot exhaust as I inspected the damage. €280.00 + fitting + another night in Stuttgart later and the local KTM place had me up and running again!

I think this thread should be re-named “The most stupid way that you’ve damaged your car”

I passed my motorcycle test back in the days when you could use any size bike with a sidecar. I had been riding the outfit for a year or so before taking the test. I took the sidecar off after passing, went out for a ride. first set of traffic lights I stopped but didn’t put my feet down – yes I fell over and was trapped under the bike

Remembered another one:
Went to drive my GF’s car down a narrow drive between two houses. Didn’t realise that she’d left the back door open. It soon closed with a big bang (and a fresh dent). Luckily it was an old banger with many other dents so she wasn’t too bothered.

Put a long scratch on the roof of the van by driving it under a barrier that is was low enough to fit under 😕