Shared houses – Dumb things housemates do..

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  • Shared houses – Dumb things housemates do..
  • gonzy

    another one…
    had a housemate from near sheffield who was a spitting image of mark lamarr…went on a night out with him on his birthday…he had invited his girlfriend over but decided not to tell her about his new girlfriend who was also tagging along…
    whilst in the club he would regularly skulk off to find one of his girlfriends to get jiggy with…but in doing so had consumed so much booze he could barely stand…and was now starting to get the names mixed up…
    we sent him to the bog to freshen up in the hope it might help clear his head and never saw him again until the end of the night when two of us found him collapsed in the toilet cubicle with his todger in his hand and his head stuffed in the bog…
    apparently while trying to take a p1ss he just passed out…
    had to drag one of his girlfriends in so she could tuck him in before we carted him off home…not before we had taken some pictures with the disposable camera….not sure who has the pictures now…
    he was a top lad though….tripping off LSD in his room was an experience especially as it covered in death metal posters…but thats another story altogether…


    The GF lived in an old run down 400 year old house whilst studying. She had quite an eclectic mix of people over the years…

    There was the Turkish guy who was about 6’6″ tall and built like a tank who moved into one of the rooms with ceilings so low that even I at 5’7″ had to duck. His parents came along when he moved in. His mum cleaned the room whilst his dad built the bed, wardrobe and desk. His parents shooed him away so he sat in the kitchen.

    Over time the housemates never saw him in cook anything. He had a massive jar of nutella which looked untouched until you opened it and saw that everything was scraped out but he hasn’t touched the sides.
    Another time someone wanted to do some vacuuming, but couldn’t find the vacuum. They asked around and this guy said it was on his room, but he hadn’t used it as he couldn’t find the cable for it (it was one of those vacuums that the cable winds up inside it).
    When he moved out the whole wallwas stacked with pizza boxes.

    Whilst I was living there there was the slightly autistic guy. He would come out of the toilet opposite the kitchen (no sink in toilet) and would start to unload the dishwasher.
    Wherever anyone was round to visit he would come crashing down the stairs like an excited puppy. One time we had company we told him that we were having a fancy dress party and he should come back later. Two hours later he comes down dressed as Zorro.

    We also had a Chinese house mate, Hong, who was a right laugh and not typically Chinese. Still have absolutely no idea what his old man’s job was. Despite Hong speaking perfect German he couldn’t translate his dad’s job title (guessing it was something in the polit buro). He was also adamant that Tibet was part of China so one of our housemates hung up Free Tibet posters and even hung a banner outside the house when Hong’s friends came around.

    Nothing truly minging occurred in that house, well, at least not with other housemates.

    The landlord was a dick so when everyone moved out they had a “Burn it Down” party. They carried the three washing machines from the basement up to the fifth floor, some urinated in each room (there were 12 rooms) and hid bits of food around the house.

    I once rented a room for what was quite a lot of money. At first everything was fine, she was happy to have me there as I would speak English with her son and help him with his homework. But things turned sour when she began to moan about me having a bath instead of a shower and said I want allowed guests.
    I found somewhere else to live and collected all my plates, cups and whatnot for a few weeks before leaving. I enjoyed her phone call complaining about the mess.

    One mate had a housemate who never bought his own soap, tooth paste or other toiletries. He ended up filling up the shower gel with Fairy liquid, the tooth paste with Polyfilla and an aftershave bottle with piss.


    Had a housemate that loved his weed, I mean **** loved it. Morning, before lectures, during, after and into the night. Legend.

    He made a bong with diluted strawberry jam. It tasted nice until it got knocked over during a game of tennis ball wardrobe.

    Then the ants came, and did not leave all summer.

    Happy days.

    Premier Icon Lifer

    Yep, that’s how you get ants.


    My house mates went away for a few days to return to the house full of people with interior doors removed dinning room furniture ablaze in the back garden along with a pc and the back of next doors shed fire was so big and the garden so small the gutters melted and the patio doors bowed and fell out. Was one of the best party’s ever.


    Lived with a guy who used to lie in bed and gob onto the ceiling above him. His ceiling was coated with green stalactites. He also used to deliberately cover the bathroom soap with his pubes.

    Premier Icon wool

    Soup pan and bean pan never washed just topped up though we did have an policey if you needed a plate you washed it. Came back one day to find the whole wall in the living room covered in pron good for the Mum Ill show you the house i am jointly renting with the lads they are top mates realy….

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