[Closed] Rehoming our beloved dog

its a dog hora, build it a kennel and make it live outside! if it complains tell it to DTFU

We have a Westie (4 yesrs old - Chompie). They could be peas in a pod. You've just described him to a T.
Should you be unable to rehome him, we'd do it (subject to them getting on together).
I am however on a bit of an upswing at the moment so I could be talking giddy nonsense but once I'm commited to something and my daughter is aware of it (he'd become her pet), I stick to it.
Ps.Any previous angst fogotten.

Hes probably the most annoying dog that I have known and yet the biggest character 🙁

monksie, the only issue is two males in the house?

The other issue is he'd be too 'close'. Would I have regrets and want him back? He needs to be far enough away from me and uncontactable?

Dog like master eh.

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Bingo motoring down off the Pike (thanks SFB)

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We could always comprehensively ignore you? 🙂
The Chompmiester doesn't seem to care about boy or girl dogs, they're all just dogs to get giddy with.
No Indian giving though. I don't think I could cope with a 13 year old daughter's broken heart.
Something to think about though if it comes to it. He'd be happy as a happy westie in our house though.
I've just seen your photo's. They're mint dogs aren't they?

Have you gone from lots of attention to none? If so maybe you could spare him a bit of time so he gets used to his new position in the tribe?

I know a new baby is hard work like (been there) but be sure you have exhausted all possibilites before you let him go forever.

monksie, let me have a think. I had my headset on his retrain with a westie-specialist then a rehome as I was worried about my partner changing her mind.

No worries, no hassles, no rush.

No useful advice, but I sorry to hear of the problem you face 🙁

Before babyhora he was abit of a handful- insisted on sleeping in guests beds (unless they shut the door), always wanted to be outside in all weathers (including fireworks), gruff and never knew his place in a pack (he constantly challenged larger dogs).

Never bitten a human and you could rough him up and he loved it. A real affection dog. Such a character. You could strangle then cuddle him in equal measure.

This was fine before the baby came along. Now we are drained, exhausted with Zach. Keeling over almost.

No useful advice, but I sorry to hear of the problem you face

Its been a very very long 3 weeks. Once we made the decision it was sat there like a white elephant. Then bingo perks up and all is well for a couple of days and I think 'maybe' and then he paces the room, whines alot, keeps trying to jump up regardless of the situation you are in and starts pee'ing again. 🙁

There are better dog 'owners' than us out there and there is a better home and maybe it is abit selfish to worry and want to keep him with us in a 'known-environment' but why should he suffer an average life until he dies? Why not have that opportunity to live again without a screaming kid in the house???

ah! that's a shame. He looks lovely too. I'm not mentioning this to my wife as she would make me take him...

I'd love to but I can't give him the time I'm afraid.

Is there no way you could keep him?...

A similar thing happened to my sister and her husband when my sister became pregnant. The dog (welsh terrier called Taffy) was starting to act just as you describe above and was treated with the same amount of care as you describe above. they took the decision to re home him through the breeders club (I think) and although they were very upset at letting him go they were happy he was being re homed to someone who has experience with the breed and would give him the life he deserved. You're definitely doing the right thing IMO if that helps.

Last I heard the owners had set up a website for the dogs...

Have you got any neighbours who would like walk him in the day?

And a 'screaming kid' is temporary - in a years time your child will probably be Bingos best friend.

And hopefully you don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds like you as an owner are the problem rather than the dog. You can retrain him but you need to be firm and not give in at the first sign of soppy eyes!

IMO, as the saying goes, a 'dog is for life...'

You took him on so it's your responsibility to compromise your life, not just get rid as your situation (new baby) has changed and he no longer fits in. Sounds harsh but it's not something I would consider. I'd keep at it and work out the problem.

If you do have to rehome I genuinely wish you the best of luck finding him a good home, and that it makes him happier. I hope his new owners have more foresight than you and can offer him a nice life for the rest of his days. Again, sorry for the lack of sympathy, but it's your responsibility and you have created the situation, no one else.

Is there no way you could keep him?...

We've had this conversation for 9months.

being re homed to someone who has experience with the breed and would give him the life he deserved

This is what we feel.

but it sounds like you as an owner are the problem rather than the dog

My partner can't cope. Shes keeling over. He needs an owner who wont cave into him. For instance he responds really well to stern and strict commands- very quickly and immediate. However I can't talk to him like that all day long. As soon as you stop- hes onto you again.

Friends and family are gutted but all admit they couldn't take him on for his 'foibles'. Hes a 24/7 dog and needs someone who is firm and very strict with him.

He'll recall off the lead immediately. Wait outside the front door for you when your taking him out. Sit and lay down like a shot and run with a bike off the lead.

We are too soft. The problem is with us- its too much on our plate though. We are ground down- can't wait a year for Zach to calm down.

angeldust when we got him we didnt have plans to have children. 6yrs change things. Some dogs cope. Some don't.

Apperently as soon as I said the reason why to the Westie place they said 'say no more this is the main reason as westies struggle with very young children'.

This is terribly sad - surely you can make room and adjust as you are the ones with the mental ability to understand everything that is changing around you.

Don't get me wrong, it is a brave decision to let him go but I know what he means to you from previous repeated posts on here about him (you talk about him almost as much as Surf-Mat does about his AWESOME BMW) so surely you can adapt, give him time, let him get used to his new position in the home?

It's still your responsibility, your actions and your lack of foresight and ability to handle the situation.

You've clearly put one part of your life ahead of the dog. Deal with it. Accept that its a crappy thing to do and accept the guilt. Only you know if you are doing it for the right reasons and if it's in the dogs best interest, or yours.

I hope once the dog has got over the inital trauma of being displaced, that he has a better life.

We will have him!

I keep looking at the photos - I wish I could take him....

Angeldust - get off his back, he is making a pretty hard decision and is clearly upset about it. What do you think you have to gain by being so aggressive with your replies.

angeldust - Member

IMO, as the saying goes, a 'dog is for life...'

You took him on so it's your responsibility to compromise your life, not just get rid as your situation (new baby) has changed and he no longer fits in. Sounds harsh but it's not something I would consider. I'd keep at it and work out the problem.

[i]You've clearly put one part of your life ahead of the dog. Deal with it. Accept that its a crappy thing to do and accept the guilt.[/i]

Blimey!, with that level of self-righteousness have you ever thought of joining the Catholic church?

Angeldust - I think you need to wring one out and get rid of some of that anger.

And, given your forum name, track 9 off that album sums you up...

Faith No More: Angel Dust
9. "Be Aggressive"

angeldust - Member
IMO, as the saying goes, a 'dog is for life...'

You took him on so it's your responsibility to compromise your life,

yet you have to realise there is a point at which [u]the dog would be happier with another owner[/u]. and it sounds that this is'nt a 'drop of the hat' decision.

Gotta be said fella, your a braver man than I...
There's no way I could get rid of either of our 2...

Good luck fella, and I hope the outcome is what you want..
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put the kid up for adoption?

put the kid up for adoption?

Given the traumas he's had, I wouldn't be surprised if this has been considered.
8)

I did appologise, in my posts, about the lack of sympathy. However from here it looks like he is taking the 'easy' way out rather than face his responsibility. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure it will be unbelievably hard to get rid of the dog, but it sounds like he would prefer that to doing the right thing and actually address the problem and keep him.

So, I guess the point of my posts is that he doesn't deserve sympathy imo.

That's a shame Mark. Could he go stay with family for a while, that way you could keep contact and maybe come back when things settle down at home? Or is that worse for the dog? My friend had to do the same thing with his lurcher, she just couldn't handle not having all the attention any more. I know he had a hard time making that decision (they tried for 2 years to sort things out), so I know where you're coming from.

Biting the Baby is of course a very different matter, and has not been mentioned or even suggested by the OP, so bringing it up is pretty pointless.

I guess the point is mr dust, that if the dog gets stressed enough and sees the baby as a source of that stress, then it may bite. Mind you don't hurt yourself on the way down from your lofty perch.

But it hasn't got to that stage yet. You are ignoring the fact that the OP has already said that he is unable/unwilling to do what is required to sort the situation.

Why not try that first before giving him away and looking for sympathy.

angeldust, at what point would you say a troubled dog would be happiest else where. or in your opinion is this never a possibility?

Don't do it. Persevere and work it out. My first dog became too much for me after about a year so I reluctantly returned him to the breeder.

Two days later after a lot of tears I went and got him back and it was the best decision I made and I put a lot of work into training him

Angeldust - I don't think, from the tone of the original post, he feels he is taking anything like an easy way out. He sounds really cut up at having to make this decision but has realised that, in his opinion, it is the best solution for all concerned.

STOP POSTING THE PHOTOS!

If my wife see's this she'll make me go get him!

Seriously though, I really would love to. If I wasn't working abroad we would...

'angeldust, at what point would you say a troubled dog would be happiest else where. or in your opinion is this never a possibility?'

That point would be when all viable options have been exhausted. The OP has already stated he knows what he would have to do to sort the situatuation but is unwilling to do this.

In some cases rehoming is the only possibility, especially with bad owners. However I don't believe the OP is a bad owner who doesn't care about his dog.

I had written a great long spiel, most of which I have deleted.

Dogs are remarkably resilient and while we tend to humanise them, I have no doubt he'll be happy as Larry within a few days of being fed, walked and fussed over by his new 'family'.

Good luck and by the sounds of it Bingo will be going to a good home.

Cutting through some of the carp above and answering your question.

YES you're going the right thing. We've taken in 2 rehomed dogs - one from someone who emigrated and one who was "left behind" after a divorce. Both settled in quickly and absolutely love being with us and get spoiled rotten. Do they look back wistfully at their previous life? No. Did the owners feel guilty as hell? Yes, but the dogs are having a great life and have turned out to be great dogs. So much so that I doubt we would ever get a puppy again with such fantastic dogs needing a second chance.

'Angeldust - I don't think, from the tone of the original post, he feels he is taking anything like an easy way out. He sounds really cut up at having to make this decision but has realised that, in his opinion, it is the best solution for all concerned.'

Surely at least trying 'tough love' on the dog is worthwhile if it means longterm he gets to keep the dog and make it happier. Seems to me there is still an option before resorting to rehoming.

The issue is finding a 'good' home. If you resort to this I wish you the best of luck.

I do agree that if you find the right home most dogs can readjust pretty quickly.

resorting to rehoming

Is "tough love" preferable to rehoming? I'd say not.

But tough love is the only way he gets to keep his dog, and if done right in the long run the dog will be happy too! Short term pain for long term happiness (for both owner and dog).

Meh, I'm with angeldust on this one. Hora's obviously spoilt the shit out of the dog since it was a puppy. Sleeping on the bed FFS??!! Now that a child has arrived on the scene, he's seeing the error of his ways for not training the thing in the first place.

Just taking the lazy arse easy way out. Just another one of the instant gratification generation is our hora.

I hope Bingo finds someone who [i]truly[/i] loves him this time. 🙁

spare teh rod and spoil the child.

Have I got the gist of this right? Seems to solution to me 🙂

Mrs Hobo had a westie when we were courting 😉 Why is it that westie owners pander to their dogs demands? This flipping dog would sniff every blooming lampost and would drop its bum at the mere hint of me wanting to get on with the walk. Eventually i got comfortable enough with the family to highlight this and suggested a bit of tough love. I did many walks with him coming back looking like the devil. I literally dragged him for a couple of miles. Kicked him up the backside a few times and to be honest bullied him a bit. Eventually he came around thinking it wasnt worth the hastle. I wasnt his favourite but if i walked him he knew it wasnt worth it.

Compare this to my cat (Much harder to train). My cat was a pain in the bum to begin with. Scratching seats, pulling up carpets and generally doing what it liked. It was a struggle but i eventually convinced her that the consequences of doing these things werent worth it. She had a few sessions in the shower and i will admit to clipping her bum a few times. Once that was sorted she is a lovely member of our family. She has actually been an absolute godsend to our young family. Both my children as babies were facinated by the black & white thing sniffing about. A crying baby laid int he middle of the floor would quickly settle whilst the cat walked past and wondered what the noise was all about. My kids pulled lumps out of my cat and she never responded (She knew the consequences). Now my kids are a little older i dread the day Lucy (My cat) passes on because she is irreplaceable.

What am i trying to say?

You have pandered to the dog because its the easy way. You have enjoyed the love and plafullness of the dog whilst it suited you. You were to lazy to train the dog properly when the oppertunity was there. Its now down to you to MTFU and instill a sense of order into your dogs life. I know its not pleasant.

Angeldust - I'm not so sure - best for dog IMO is a new start in life. That's going to be tough on owner for sure, but better for all I think.

'Angeldust - I'm not so sure - best for dog IMO is a new start in life. That's going to be tough on owner for sure, but better for all I think.'

Perhaps, but don't then look for sympathy if other options are available but you are too 'tired' to consider them.

Dogs live in the moment - so would be happy in a loving new home and not ever think of you again.

on the other hand they are a pack animal and you need to retrain to be lower in the pack hierachy - if you were to keep him. start with things like always sleeping in a seperate room, never on the sofa, you eat first, make sure he walks to heal behind you, go out the door first. etc etc.
get cesear milans book - it is excellent.

angeldust.. you sound like a person speaking from personal experience on this subject..
are you..?

When our first little one came along.. we were so 'dog' tired.. waaay beyond all our wildest imaginations.. that retraining an uppity dog in a calm and efficient manner whilst trying to maintain a pleasant environment for the little 'un would have been beyond our capabilities..
there are a million and one different circumstances surrounding a birth that no-one can foresee..

Our dog was a bit more emotionally unbalanced than the one being described in this thread.. and Mrs Yunki experience a few problems for the first 9 months after Yunki Jr was born.. so it was a hard time..

You have to prioritise under these circumstances.. and no sane person would put the dog first..
Our dog had already been rehomed 4 or 5 times before her very happy 8 years with us and we felt that to rehome her again would be unfair.. so I had her put down..

was that wrong of me..? In your experience..?

Yunki, I have owned many dogs. None of my dogs have been 'perfectly' trained but all have been trained sufficiently to behave well enough, be happy, and never give us any problems.

Unfortunately I have known a number of people, unsuitable, unprepared and ill-experienced for dog ownership, gets dogs, then decide to get rid of them (once they have tired of their pet) to unknown fates.

As a dog lover, I hate to see this happen, but I accept it can be the right course of action if it is for the good of the dog and all other options have been exhausted (as long as a good home is found).

In regard to your situation that would depend on if you thought the dog was a danger to your baby (different to the OP's situation) and you had exhausted all other options (also different to the OP's situation). I don't think being new parents and 'tired' is a good enough reason alone to treat a dog in this way.

Not going to bust your balls hora, enough of that's gone on, it's tough now but in a while things will settle and bingo will become a companion to little hora as well as you and mrs hora, and will continue to enrich all your lives, your all struggling at the mo, including bingo, give him a chance, it's early days yet, persevere.

Also worth noting that I have known a number of new parents, who owned dogs before the birth, and have coped with no problems. I am aware this will be dog dependent.

Hora, shame you are going to give up the lovely dog but imo I think you havent done a great job by spoiling him, like sleeping on the bed with the dog!, etc, now the dog will have to go through this heartbreak when you get rid of him, in future it would be best you dont have another dog, just enjoy your baby.

You can save your dog by changing your incorrect ways, be strict and make it sleep in living room or downstairs, it's worth a try and effort, I mean you guys have been together 6 years, you have some history together.

I hope and wish your dog will have a better and happy life with his new owner.

It's a lovely dog after seeing the photo's

dog doesn't know it's place, as others have commented. if you are really too ****ed to sort this out now, stick him in kennels, and come back in a week or two, and mtfu. I love our two dogs to bits, but they're ****ing dogs! they are at the bottom of the pile.
talking about it for 9 months? why weren't you fixing this 8 months ago?
maybe moving him on is the best thing.
just trying to be realistic, not abusive. would hate to be in your position. would hate to loose mine.

Aaaaah! I really feel sorry for hora. He just thought he was doing the right thing with his pup.

We always wanted a dog and now I'm at the point where I could get one I'm working abroad! Shame as I'd take it for him no probs otherwise. I realise I couldn't give it the time it deserves.

Be easy on him though. He knows he can't give it what it needs and that's good. Better that than throw it in the nearet canal?....

Sorry I can't help you out hora - I really would love to but it just isn't practical for us at the moment. I have 3 kids who would love it to bits too....

Perhaps, but don't then look for sympathy if other options are available but you are too 'tired' to consider them.

Eh? As stated above I've rehomed (as in taken in) 2 dogs. What are you on about with the "too tired" chat?

Awwww Bingo and the rest of those doggies look soooo cute 🙂

Hora - I'm confused. You say you're going down the re-training then rehoming route. If you're going to the effort (and expense if someone else does the training) of re-training the dog, why not just re-train and keep him? Have I misunderstood?

It's a hard one but I must say I feel that some perseverance on your part might reap happy dividends (I sound like a fortune cookie in real life too).

Stick with it Hora! Perhaps get a doggy shrink in. Most of the behaviour issues with dogs are caused/encouraged by their owners.

You might think you can just move him on, but you'll find that hard.

I'm back. The lovely wife and the lovely daughter love him already. Just Chompmiester remains to give his consent.
Just shout up if you're up for some dog meetng action (oo-er, I'm getting involved in dogging!) at the weekend and take it from there if you like?
I can promise you this, he'll be spoilt rotten, just like his Lordship. I'm typing this sitting on the floor 'cos he decided he wanted to curl up on the sofa where I [i]was[/i] sittng.
Hope he likes walking in the Peak District.

'Perhaps, but don't then look for sympathy if other options are available but you are too 'tired' to consider them.

Eh? As stated above I've rehomed (as in taken in) 2 dogs. What are you on about with the "too tired" chat?'

dazzlingboy - the 'too tired' thing clearly refers to the OP not you. I suggest you read the whole thread.

Hora - I'm confused. You say you're going down the re-training then rehoming route. If you're going to the effort (and expense if someone else does the training) of re-training the dog, why not just re-train and keep him? Have I misunderstood?

No this is the charity. I expressed concern that if they rehomed there would be a high chance of him being given up again due to his challenging nature. They cameback to me with the option of a retrain/foster first/evaluate then rehome.

angeldust. I have owned a few dogs in my life. I've also seen many many Westies. The vast majority of them are in what I'd class as appalling shape due to their diet. Bingo has never had his claws clipped. Never. He has never suffered a skin condition, isn't afraid of fireworks and has no fear of humans. Zero mistrust.

If you care about a dog you give it a strict diet and alot of exercise first. Then everything else follows. Its not a case of 'oh can't be bothered now'. We have had him since he was 8 weeks old. He has always been a very male dog. He had his mother in a submissive position when we picked him up. Odd we thought at the time but thought nothing more. Over the following months every dog he met had to submit to him (every dog).

At 6months old he attacked a fully grown Boxer. The Boxer obviously asserted itself over him. He then attacked the Boxer again drawing blood.

We had him neutered at this point. This had a wierd effect on him and he started to have a high-pitched squeek whenever he couldnt get his way.

He still wants to fight any dog bigger than himself. This is very tiring for my partner when she walks him and we have tried to train this out him to no avail.

Later on he had a run in and a fight with a Staff (stalemate) in the park.

Hes not a 'fighting' dog though. Another STW'ers dog (Border Terrier) gets on fine with him inside a house together and with other small dogs.

Its his maleness that worries me in the future. He sees my partner as lower in the pack than him and what if he sees the need to assert himself over Zach? Hes never shown any aggression towards him however he is stressed around him.

The crux of the matter is he does whatever I tell him to do when I tell him. He'll recall immediately when hes off the lead. He'll get down when I tell him to and sit or wait.

My partner has struggled since day one with him. Hes just been a handful for her and he knows he can get away with anything if he persists with her. She works part time and spends most of the time with him. Shes struggling to cope and its grinding her down mentally. shes a soft-touch. He knows it. Yes there is training but she always reverts back to herself post-training. She can't talk to him sternly 100% of the time or be disciplined whereas I don't need to.

If he was with me 100% of the time things would be different. I don't see my winning the lottery anytime soon though.

For all his foibles he is a gem of a dog. You are truly a dog lover when you look out for a dogs interests as well as your own.

Like I said, Manchester Dogs home is 4miles from me. He'd be rehomed the sameday he got in there and then returned, then another owner.

Or I could stick an ad out and make an easy £200 on him.

If you've ever met Bingo you'd never forget him. He just loves sitting with his head on his hands staring at me. That I will miss.

A bloke or battleaxe woman westie-lover somewhere will have this enjoyment.

It really does sound like re-homing is the best option as you obviously can't re-train your wife (that wasn't a joke BTW).

As I said before, good luck and hopefully his new owners will be able to show him his rightful place in the pack.

Exactly. Should I replace her with a stern middle-aged busy-body woman? 😆

You know you want to

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Repeating that you COULD get ~£200 simply by selling him really isn't doing you any favours. Treating a dog as a possession rather than a (canine) family member is exactly what I object to. That sort of thing should be so far out of the question for a good owner that it doesn't even bear mentioning. So I hope you are doing it just for dramatic effect (as you do appear to be making the effort to rehome him the right way).

I'm just not convinced that you are doing everything you can to keep your 'beloved' dog. It's something I have seen quite a few times and find very sad. That is all.

Its a counter to the 'your just giving a dog up'. Like its something I've just decided on a whim.

If its something I've decided to do on a whim I'd have dumped him at the dogs home or stuck him in the paper.

Coming to a decision over 3 weeks ago but then deciding to hold onto him as a better rehoming option would be available was a no-brainer for me. The 3 weeks have been torturious knowing bingo was a 'dead man walking'.

As I've said before I do question what peoples understanding of 'a dog lover' is (no its not the same as a chicken lover) 🙄

My friend’s mother had a Westie for about 5 years – he was a foul tempered, yappy little thing. She had to move to a rented property that didn’t allow pets, so he was rehomed with a friend’s family. The dog became a different creature, even-tempered, obedient and quiet. I think it was because both my friend’s mother and her partner worked, so the dog spent long periods alone in the house, and would go bonkers when people were about. When he was rehomed he went to a retired couple who could spend more time with him, and he’s really a lot happier now.

It’s sad, but sometimes some dogs just don’t suit particular environments, and if they or the situation can’t change, they’d be a lot happier rehomed. I hope Bingo finds a home that suits him.

Thank you. He does act as though hes just been released from prison when hes let out 😡

just out of interest, given your reluctance to discipline the dog, what's the long term strategy for your daughter when she hits 2 years old?

I'm asking the above semi-tongue in cheek, as I can appreciate how difficult it might be to be raising your first child and (not) coping with a dog which isn't adjusting well to it's new situation. You might have already done this, but have you considered talking to a dog behaviourist as a route to resolving the issue. They can sometimes give good advice about how to deal with the situation, although in reality, its often more about altering [i]your [/i]practices than the dog's. Learning how to correct the dog's behaviour when you can't use verbal instruction to 'explain' what's required is a valuable lesson to learn if your going to be dealing with a stroppy daughter in the near future!

Hes a son. Zach is (obviously) fascinated with bingo. He only ever 'sings' when hes sat with Bingo. A sort of wierd high pitched note- he grabs bingo and tries 'mouthing' him.

Hes also pulled bingos face hair a few times really hard and all bingo does it quietly whince.

Obviously this all happens when we are present. Never alone together.

wow hora that's a tough decision to make, only you and the missus can sort that out.

Archie would love a play chum I'm sure. Can you post?

Has he had his ba's cut aff? That may calm him down a bit.

Hes a son. Zach

My bad - brain slipped a gear as I read through all the posts. At least you (probably) don't have to worry about him going out in short skirts when he's older.

dazzlingboy - the 'too tired' thing clearly refers to the OP not you

ah - sorry.