Rehoming our beloved dog

7pm sharp Bingo sits infront of bowl every night. Ready.

Cheers for the clarification on the training thing.

It seems very obvious that you love this dog to bits and putting myself in your shoes for a moment, it’s clear you’re feeling a lot of guilt. I know I would in the same position.

Our rescue dog very, very nearly went back to the rehoming centre after the first week, during which he howled incessantly at night, to the point where neither Mrs Removed or I had any sleep at all. It was worse than having a baby – they sleep sometimes and this dog just didn’t. The knowledge that he’d been rehomed three times before we got him made us persevere though, and these days, he’s a joy to have around. If I had to make a descision like the one you’re facing I’d be beside myself!

As others have suggested, isn’t it worth trying a local specialist? At least if you try that, and he still needs rehoming you’ll have tried every avenue available and the guilt won’t linger as long.

Can I with respect, ask everybody to shut the hell up with all of the take him here and give him to them advice?
He’ll be dead set with us. The Ladies(tm) are already priming Chompmeister for his new best mate and are out looking for a new dog cushion, blankets and toys for the new addition.
Hora – we’ll pick him up from Tatton Park on Saturday morning. Chompie will be taking his weekend constitutional at that time.
Job done.

Monksie

Sure you wont post to Aberdeen?

We had a very similar experience when our baby came along, the baby was a great sleeper and the dog was keeping us up. She would pace around, twining and getting on windowsills upstairs trying to get out of the window in the night. not eating her food which is really unusual. My wife was on the verge of murdering her.

Mrs JP suggested getting a dog pyscholgist in??? £100 cash. The upshot was that the dog had had some sort of breakdown due to confusion of role in life. (‘what a load of old tosh’ i thought).

The upshot was that we had to treat her like a dog all of the time. On a short lead at all times even going out in the garden for a wee. Told to sit on a dog bed in the house etc etc.

The result is that she came back to her old self within a couple of weeks and that was three years ago and to be truthful everything is very relaxed. Dog & daughter worship each other.

Must be an awful situation, and with the added responsibilty of your child, lack of sleep etc etc and can see why you think the best option is to re home your dog.

Junior FD is 7 months old and Whinnie (Boxer) is just under 12 years old. At first Whinnie growled, whined and tried to be centre of attention when we are all together. Classic signs that she was trying to create her station in the pack.

From day one myself Mrs FD has reassured Whinnie that she is bottom of the pack (although you feel awful doing it) but she has to know. As Junior FD is getting older, Whinnie’s attitude is changing, she now protects him when we go out for walks and allows him to play, occasionally she tries to butt in, but calmly we tell her to go back and lye down.

I’m no expert but its sounds like your dog is still 2nd in the pack in your family ie you, then your dog, then your son, then your wife. If you sort this out then his behaviour will improve.

You say all manner of shouting commands by your wife has failed, maybe its more subtle things that need to change. Do you all eat before your dog? If you all eat as a family let your dog wait until you have all eaten, and then let your wife give him the leftovers. When she is out walking him, as soon as he misbehaves, dont shout at him, just firmly say no, and take him straight home.

As has been said above, alot of it is the behaviour of the owner, not the dog that is wrong, so maybe it might be worth getting some one in. They may pick up on some thing straight away that you didnt even realise was influencing your dogs behaviour.

Funky, hmmmm bingo eats at 7pm sharp. We always eat at circa 7.30pm.

mrshora is amazingly stressed out and its like a telegraph wire down to bingo.

Another factor- Zach was born after a difficult birth with forceps. We are seeing a cranial Osteopath tomorrow regarding this and Zach’s issues sleeping following advice we’d received.

I’m wondering if we can turn this around. I need to stop giving bingo the attention he gets from me and I feel post-Zach’s bedtime maybe he should be made to sit with mrshora and not me all the time…

I know Junior FD was born, Mrs FD was very honest and said her feelings to Whin had changed over night, and she didnt understand why. Very brave of her but she actually admitted that she didnt love Whin as much although she had brought her up by herself from a pup. I guess it was only her natural maternal instinct to her new baby.

Whilst Junior FD was very young and demanding I had to keep telling Mrs FD to give Whin some attention, as you could see she felt left out. Now they are back to where they were before (nearly).

Did your wife get on with Bingo before, or is just since the birth of your son that they havent bonded as well, maybe it is partly your wife who needs to give Bingo more love and attention, as you say particulary once your son is in bed. This is some thing Whinnie has come to realise.

With the food thing, I was just trying to suggest that if you have snacks and things, make sure you and your wife eat before Bingo, and then maybe give him a bit at the end. That way he feels part of the pack, but knows he is at the bottom of the pack because he gets food last. We do that with Junior FD too. Whinnie will watch for any food that Junior FD drops on the floor, or doesnt fininish. We dont let her eat it until Junior fininshes. That way she knows she is below him.

Does sound like your and bingo have got the male bond, pack thing going on. Which as you say you probably need to brake a little. Wont be easy though… none of it will be. Hopefully though you can keep to keep Bingo and you son will have a great mate to grow up with!

When the doggy shrink came to visit us Mrs JP got very upset as she felt the biggest cause of the problem was her change in attitude.

This was a big factor that was picked up straight away, mrs jp would be nice until she snapped and then the dog would get shouted at, I was middle the road all of the time.

By everyone treating the dog in the same direct not shouty and quite strict way the dog soon settled as she was not getting confused by the instructions.

Hora, if you want to change the way your dog behaves, do as funkydunc suggests.

You must treat him like a dog. An animal. Not like a human. He is a dog.

Walks on the lead. Walking to heel. Stictly walking to heel. Be VERY firm with your voice. You must assert your complete dominance over him. So must your wife.

When he is not doing what you want him to do, be verbally agressive. A gutteral Arrgghh sound should convey your displeasure with him. Conversly, when he behaves offer simple praise and a pat.

DO NOT let him up on the sofa with you. Make him sleep on his bed. Impose your will on him. If he is aggressive or boistrous, again chastise him verbally. But when he is good praise him.

Don’t go soft him, or he’ll think he is higher up the pack pecking order.

If you do want to go down this route, it’s going to feel like you are being cruel, but if fact it is kind.

I’m no expert, but have heard often that this eating thing is massively important for impressing on dogs where they stand in the pack(family). Being at the bottom of the pack (eating last, getting the scraps) isn’t a bad thing for a dog, not knowing where the hell he stands, with lots of mixed messages, is and probably what’s driving him mad.
Be cruel to be kind Hora

Re the bed thing – because Zach’s been crying etc soo much recently we’ve taken to bringing him into our bed mid-way through the night (we are basically just trudging forward looking at our feet atthe moment).

One morning I woke up with bingo on his back (head on the pillow) next to me, Zach right next to him (head on the pillow) then mrshora. Both Zach and Bingo had their ‘arms’ up in the air/mouths open.

YES I KNOW![/b]

this is worthwhile read

gentle but common sense

The Dog Listener: Learn How to Communicate with Your Dog for Willing Cooperation – Paperback by Jan Fennell

Bingo is staying. Both Mrshora and me are going to doggy-bootcamp after tomorrow pm when hopefully Zach should start feeling better.

Lol don’t count on either being a sucess quickly, but glad your keeping your dog!

I know. I’m going to look into bringing bingo into the office 2-3days a week as well.

No one minds him here- its just when the printer starts up he thinks there are monsters in there (and he tries attacking it) 🙄

Monksie, I’d still like to meet up for a dogwalk in the park (just for the future/just incase) plus it’d be good for you to see him/see how they interact..
(thank you for the offer as well).

No one minds him here- its just when the printer starts up he thinks there are monsters in there (and he tries attacking it)

Glad you’re sticking at it – my dog comes to work too and he did the barking at the copier thing! He spends most of the day sleeping under my desk now.

Just out of interest, what have you been advised about your son? Reuben is 7 months old, and we can’t remember the last time he slept through the night, and he ends up sleeping with us quite often as the only way to get him back to sleep. We function on about 4 hrs sleep a night.

He had a traumatic birth too, ending up by section as basicaly his head got squashed the wrong way round on exit.

Are we missing some thing that is worth inverstigating with him?

FunkyDunc hang on..

I’ve text’d mrshora for the name of the book shes had as her bible since his birth (by some celebrated woman who also offers advice on a individual basis).

There was a section in there.

I’ve also found this discussion: http://community.babycentre.co.uk/journal/shewhosings/653395/cranial_osteopathy_-_the_before

Good luck, it will be worth the effort.

Yay!

Funky we found it in here http://www.whsmith.co.uk/CatalogAndSearch/ProductDetails.aspx?productId=9780718147099&gclid=CM-PycGxvKUCFYlH4wodhCF_Gw

Nice one hora, just took ours out and even with a chest infection and a tooth abcess it’s one of my favourite things watching em running round being nuts,
You won’t regret it 😀

There is a revolt taking place in the southern end of Stockport as we speak!
Fair enough Hora, they knew it was unlikely to happen. They’d see me out of the door before our dog would go.

good man, hora, I am glad you are giving Bingo another chance, just have patience with him and it will be worth it on the long run, soon Zach will have a best mate with the dog.

A big thumbs up for you.

😀

Not been able to read this thread in total just the first few posts as I have a 3 week old to help look after, makes me realise how lucky I am that Kea has been fine. Hope it all works out Hora, I’d be heart broken if the roles were reversed.

Approaching the crux of the problem. I enacted the no settee and feed after our food last night…..Bingo softly whinged but mrshora did as well saying ‘but hes hungry’ (she is soo bloody soft).

Well we stuck to it and we will carry on sticking to it. He slept on the bed (but at the foot at the bed) all night.

Hora,

I have only read a smidgen of the posts here but i also have a westie….we inhereted him when the wifes folks past away. we had a second child 2 years ago and Wallace (the westie) was a right handful. He was rather snappy and was doing our heads in we were at the point of trying to re-home him. He has settled down now around the little-un however as he’s knocking on a bit in years he is causing us so many issues it’s unreal.

He pee’s in the house at least twice a day now and the worst thing is its usually all over the little boys stuff which is horrible. He also scavenges for food of the lad and is constantly shaddowing him for scraps.

then theres his medical problems…where do you start?? his eyes are constantly full of gack, his ears need special drops all the time to stop them getting infected, his skin flares up dispite us grooming him and bathing him with medicated shampoo, he has allagies that sometimes need treating and he’s started to be sick quite alot now as well. We have another dog (15 years old) which is 3 times the size of Wallace but the little terrier constanltly bullies him and attacks him for his food which also really winds the wife up. We dumped the medical insurance as it was a waste of time and costing us so much but are at a point where we are struggling to pay for his care.
if i’m honest i cant say me or the wife want him any more (or ever did) but what do you do with a 14 year old dog?? (no comments about a sack and the canal please), so I guess I sort of understand and know how hard dogs can be on the family especially when your priorities are stretched to other areas. Good luck pal.

donks thank you for the perspective. I would contact Graham at Westie rescue for some advice Lead.coordinator@westierescuescheme.org.uk

Is he suffering at all (from the health issues?). At my old house an old lad had an aging Akita and an aging Westie who was struggling just to walk with comfort. I said to him if he’d considered giving him some ‘peace’. A week later I only saw the Akita 🙁

He is in some discomfort with his eyes and ears, he yelps at times when the ears are hurting him and the scratching gives him and us grief. However he still gets about just fine as is the way of small dogs…not like our big one who has real trouble walking and getting up off the floor….bloody dogs, bit like women cant live with them but you wouldnt be without them. We just soldier on with them, and clean up the mess, they are old after all.

I am impressed. I’ve always thought that as soon as Bingo starts having problems with continence (of course) or joints/back end- hes going to go out whilst hes still on a relative high. I wouldn’t prolong his quality of life.

Hora, you do realise that to the dog, sitting on the sofa and sitting on the bed are exactly the same thing?.

See what you mean. He has his own sofa to sit on. When mrshora is sat on (his preferred) sofa he sits on the floor at her feet. He really didnt enjoy that last night (hence the soft whinging).

this has prob been said in the last three pages but it normal for the usual attention giver to feel jealous once a new attention getter enters the house whether it be a new dog child cat hamster whatever… I was lucky with my son he was two and knew what was happening, but my three lazy cats had a similar reaction to your dog – weeing in the house ( and not in their tray) crying in the night etc…

Did I read that you little one is only 6 weeks old – the first few months are a pretty big upheaval with any sense of a routine thrown firmly out of the window, and with the stress of the difficult birth youve got more than most on your plate – but you prob dont need anyone to tell you this.

All I can say is I mglad youve decided to keep him it will get easier once you can get into solid routines again. I was lucky with my little boy slept through from 6 weeks – my little girl on the other hand was nearly 8 months, and then she started teething too (hell shes still teething) but the radiators on in her room and the cats have decided its the warmest place to sleep so after their initial shock and behaviour theyve decided shes worth it after all..

He started acting up in the last month before Zach was due. Wierd.
Although mrshora was Psycho-Zelda from the Terrahawks at that time 😆

Regarding dogs sleeping on people’s beds which is getting a bad rep here, there is a school of thought amongst many professional doggy people that this is in fact a good thing.

In the wild dogs will take on two roles during the night. The ones that are sleeping huddle together for warmth and sleeping at the bottom of a bed emulates this scenario for the dog. There will then be a couple of dogs who would work on sentry duty during the night, this is what a dog is doing when it paces around the house twining.

Only hust caught up with this. From what I’ve read well done Hora for deciding to approach it the way you have and resolve rather than rehome.

Your familly situation with a young un cant help and at times it must be so hard to even think, let alone think straight. But it sounds for now that your thinking is along the right lines.

Its worth remembering as well that a dog is a dog, and doesn’t think like a human. So on the hierarchy confirmation thing the quicker and more decisively you act as suggested above, the sooner it will be resolved.

I came home last night to find my dog had crapped on the sitting room (wooden) floor. I took her out and she then had diohoria. Taking a freinds advice I am not feeding her for 24-36 hours. I was unsure if this was right and my friend pointed out; remember that its a dog. Dogs are designed to go withut food for days on end, its just she expects to be fed thats all. Dont think about her as a person.

Anyway hope you and Bingo work it out 🙂