Virtual hug for Jambo, hope things get better for you soon.

Hora, I think you’ve left it a bit long to get a warranty replacement. I think your best bet is to flog him off on the classifieds without mentioning the fault, and get a new replacement which won’t hold you back in your sleeping ability 🙂

We had about 6 weeks of hell but since then sleeping has been fine, it’s eating that’s the issue with our daughter. Still, would be boring if it wasn’t a challenge 🙂

Sounds terrible to say this but before hora junior I use to hear about men walking out on a wife/small child and just think ‘****’ – now I can see in some circumstances why it splits couples, the tiredness, the bickering, lack of sleep etc. Awful isn’t it?

No – just look at little one, give him a hug and feel the love. Then hug your partner and tell her you love her. Try not to hate the experience.

MTFU

+1

Zaskar – “Training” doesn’t work with all kids, no matter what the super-nannies and child-gurus claim.

My 3 1/2 year old sleeps through, maybe 1 night a week on average. At the moment, my missus is crook, so I’m having to sort him out in the middle of the night. Normally, I’ll go through the cycle of getting him back into his bed, then getting woken up half an hour later, several times through the night. But its so frikkin’ cold I’ve just been hopping into his bed with him to be punched and kicked for the remainder of the night.

On top of this, he’s going through a phase of sleep-walking, night-terrors and nightmares.

and as for changing wet sheets in the middle of the night, its a right PITA

The advantage is, I now only need about 5 hours sleep to feel refreshed.

My two have been challenging in the sleep stakes. And while I’d like to have followed Zaskar’s tough love approach my wife is as soft as butter.
My eldest keeps waking up with nightmares at about 4am.
My youngest has slept through twice in nearly 4 years.
The bad days are behind me now and I can cope with this level of sleep interuption.

But aren’t they gorgeous?

My 3 yo often wakes up crying or shouting for Mummy or Daddy, but a quick snuggle and he’s usually back to sleep. Provided I can get back to sleep easily it doesn’t bother me too much. Last night I was up twice but because it was a quick cuddle and back to sleep I felt OK in the morning. If they get you up and keep you up it can be a big hairy PITA and I’ve definitely become a grumpier person since having kids to deprive me of sleep. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel though…you will too Hora

No – just look at little one, give him a hug and feel the love. Then hug your partner and tell her you love her. Try not to hate the experience.

When hes in a happy mood and grins his eyes seem to light up. Nothing can beat a child happy can it?

Nothing can beat a child happy can it?

Depends what kind of mood I’m in 😈

Nothing. Although my two have just discovered lingering hugs and cosy-ing up in bed which is lovely on a morning.

Unfortunate use of words there 😆

My girls often refuse to get involved in lingering hugs, or even get too near our bed (for fear of being scooped up into it), because they know its just a big ploy by us to avoid getting up for as long as possible.

Go on- its fun making them! Book a weekend away and get someone to look after the other 3.

One night away (alone) in 6 years. Check the terms & conditions before unzipping is my advice 😀

You need to go and see the Health Visitor and get referred to a child sleep specialist. We did after 10 months of no sleep and it worked a treat. The long and short of it was to just leave them to cry. By going in all the time the baby thinks something is wrong as their parent keeps checking on them. Your just winding up the baby instead of them learning to go back to sleep. No word of a lie after 3 night leaving her to cry it worked a treat and she sleeps through the night. Thats after 10 months of broken sleep. Typically she now has a chest infection and that has gone out the window until she is well again.

I wish we had sorted it out earlier and not just thinking it would get better.

My youngest has a rare condition, which means, she does not have a normal sleeping pattern like everyone else, so we take it in turns to do shifts one night on, one night off, my shift last night went like this:

She went to bed at 7.30pm , happy days

And woke up….

10pm-11.30pm wanting Mum
2am-3am play and reading books
4am-8.30am – more play, wanting to go downstairs, play more, etc…

& that was a good night for me 😉

Doc. have tried Melatonin in the past, but that seems to help you get off to sleep, which is not a problem for our little one, not an expert btw

Its like that every day, I no longer drink, dont have an alarm clock & have forgot the last time I have woken up in the morning next to my Mrs!

At least its my turn to get a sleep tonight, I hope 😉

It pleases me that Hora’s child, like his friends, ensures that his suffering on this Earth is perpetuated. 🙂

That phrase, ‘sleeping like a baby’; bit daft really in’t it?

One night away (alone) in 6 years. Check the terms & conditions before unzipping is my advice

…plus I assumed after a lifetime of tight jeans, alcohol and age I’d take alongtime. It took a week. FFS.

Our elder son didn’t really sleep through until he was 2 – survived on 4 to 6 hours sleep (more often 4) for that time. Then he started sleeping. Over 3 years on he’s only once had a nightmare and sleeps well home or away. All our friends who had sleeping through at 10 weeks or whatever then had a load of nightmares from 2 or 3.

I know which I’d chose to honest, though it felt pretty bad at the time.

Just remember to keep talking to your partner and be nice – I’m always amazed more couples don’t split up in the first year or so.

And then we decided to do it again. Second son appears to be a marginally better sleeper.

Go on- its fun making them! Book a weekend away 5 minutes (presuming foreplay) and get someone to look after the other 3.

FTFY

That phrase, ‘sleeping like a baby’; bit daft really in’t it?
POSTED 5 MINUTES AGO # REPORT-POST

No – when they ARE asleep you could vacuum their face without waking them.

sorry, can’t read the whole thread so if this has been picked up on…

sometimes I actually see little pricks of light/half fuzzy.

could = hypertension…one of my symptoms!

That phrase, ‘sleeping like a baby’; bit daft really in’t it?
POSTED 5 MINUTES AGO # REPORT-POST

No – when they ARE asleep you could vacuum their face without waking them.

The long and short of it was to just leave them to cry. By going in all the time the baby thinks something is wrong as their parent keeps checking on them. Your just winding up the baby instead of them learning to go back to sleep. No word of a lie after 3 night leaving her to cry it worked a treat and she sleeps through the night. Thats after 10 months of broken sleep. Typically she now has a chest infection and that has gone out the window until she is well again.

*Disagrees quite stongly – on a scale of 1 to 10, its a 10*

That is the kind of thing the evil Gina Ford perpetuates. Babies dont have the congnitive development to be thinking like that. In fact they think ‘where’d everybody go?’ something must be wrong’. Your child crying just wants comfort that it is safe and that you havent abandoned it. By going in, you are confirming everything is ok they can relax.
Leaving them crying is just the boot camp of getting them used to idea that they have in fact been abandoned. Kids adapt much quicker than adults.
The key issue to ‘detaching’ at night is to stop eye contact, and move from being close to them/touching them, to sitting the other side of the room from them, then out the door, over a number of days. Essentially bore them to sleep – no eye contact, no touching = boring so they go to sleep but are happy because they have not been abandoned.

Depends what age though – if they are older, control crying really works.

I had a career as an M&A lawyer before becoming a parent. That trained me for surviving for days at a time on little or no sleep.

Anyway, everyone forget the hora p—taking for a minute and re-read jambo’s post up there ^^^…

Good luck fella – hope it all turns out right.

They’re individuals. What works for one doesn’t work for another. I’ve done the ignore them thing and the “detachment” thing with the same child (and usually depending on how warm and cosy my bed is!). Sometimes one works, sometimes the other.

A great one was last night when the 5 year old – usually an excellent sleeper – shouted out for me. He told me he wanted to go downstairs but I told him it was sleep-time and asked what was wrong. He paused, said “nothing” and fell back into a deep sleep 🙂

the evil Gina Ford

Found parts of her book incredibly useful, just dipping in and out, not as a bible.

I reckon you just do whatever works, though mine has slept through from 8 weeks to now (nearly 5), I could easily have just got lucky there, got a feeling our one on the way is going to be the complete opposite!

😀

Ok, I understand why sometimes Hora makes no sense.

“Sympathises with Hora, shakes head nonchalantly, sips tea…”

We go for the completely opposite technique – she sleeps in with us, there’s the occasional small snuffle in the middle of the night, but usually she sleeps right through. Well, at the moment she’s decided tht it’s more fun to go to bed at 10-11pm and wake up at 9am, but the plan usually works 🙂

Rant: Lack of sleep (babies)I Know what you mean! (I’m on a night shift in a NICU)

Jam bo 🙁

We’ve got friends who’ve done Gina Ford and they’ve slept through / napped in the day fine, others who’ve done it and still have old children who wake up all the time, won’t take good naps etc.

We are quite lucky in that we didn’t do Gina Ford, leave em to cry forever etc, and ours now seems to usually sleep 7pm 7.30am if she is left to it. I’m entirely unconvinced how well hardcore controlled crying works really, for all the people who go on about how well it works, there seem to be just as many people who try it and discover it doesn’t work.

Control crying is good but he constantly wakes up sounding like he has a serious smokers cough, constant temps, then the free-flowing ear. Yet another ENT appointment for next week.

By going in all the time the baby thinks something is wrong as their parent keeps checking on them. Your just winding up the baby instead of them learning to go back to sleep.

Babies dont have the congnitive development to be thinking like that. In fact they think ‘where’d everybody go?’ something must be wrong’.

Who knows what they’re thinking? Surely that’s the challenge with babies :)I think I would find it quite hard to get back to sleep if someone was picking me up and cuddling me. Sometimes our daughter is a bit unsettled in the evening, but within a minute I can usually tell if she can sort herself or if she needs something.

It’s possible we’ve done the controlled crying thing by dint of having the stereo too loud to hear her 😳 Never read Gina Ford or any other parenting book tbh. Much prefer just to have a positive attitude and follow instincts, then if something is seriously wrong do a bit more reading.

constantly wakes up sounding like he has a serious smokers cough, constant temps, then the free-flowing ear

It’s one thing having a fit and well kid not sleeping, but if they’re poorly it’s a different scenario. Our eldest had bad coughs on and off as a baby and it took many doctors/hospital visits/tests before the problem was taken seriously. As new parents we just thought that babies got coughs and colds all the time. I remember his first birthday when he was sat in his high chair at the head of the table looking distinctly sorry for himself and coughing and spluttering all the time. The looks from our family said it all really. They knew he wasn’t right, but we were still trying to convince ourselves it was normal. I had to take him out of the room and just give him the biggest cuddle.

That Christmas he was in hospital with pneumonia and then then a few months later – after many tests – was having chemo prior to his first (of two) bone marrow transplants. He’s 5 now and has started school. He sleeps well, he’s happy, he’s well, but I still don’t know if he’ll ever manage to ride a bike due to the side-effects (poor muscle tone) of his condition.

Sorry hora, not sure why I wrote that. I don’t mean to scare. I’m not even sure I have a point, but it sure was cathartic to type it out…

Nay worries, I’m just looking round for a dehumidifier for his room as theres a fair bit of moisture on the windows/upstairs anyway which must agreviate his chest.

Our Little Sausage is 9 months old now and is a bit variable when it comes to sleep. It got really bad around 6 months and after trying every softly-softly approach under the sun (and building up quite a library of sleep related books) we had to resort to controlled crying. We’d heard it only takes a few days but it was more like 2 weeks with LS – but it did at least work. It’s still up and down and bugs/illness still cause disruption (and anti biotics have messed her up for the last week), but we know that a few days of controlled crying should be enough to get her back on track when she’s well.

Your missus will probably cry as much as the baby when you start doing the controlled crying, but she’ll also get over it 😉

Control crying is good

Stop saying that, grrrr *skulksstorms off muttering indignantly*

I think I would find it quite hard to get back to sleep if someone was picking me up and cuddling me.

Absolutely, its the other thing between either picking them up or ignoring their crying – comforting them sufficently and reducing the level of/need for comforting in a way that works for them without traumatising them enough that they cry.

You people that leave your kids crying – bad parent, bad, bad parent, shame on you 👿

why are they bad parents? thats a pretty emotive thing to say and accuse others of being?

pretty sure my parents left me to cry and i turned out ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!

Calm down, calm down.

Its only because if I shout at my kids or anything I spend the next 24hr wracked with guilt 🙄 so I dont see why ‘dem others shouln’t feel the same pain as me 🙁

I AM CALM!!!! 😆

(not even a parent so i’ve no reason to be remotely offended or upset, apart from reading about the guys with poorly babies 🙁 my heart and best wishes go out to you!)

…plus I assumed after a lifetime of tight jeans, alcohol and age I’d take alongtime. It took a week. FFS.

<points> Ha Ha!

Same thing more or less happened with no. 3, we figured we weren’t getting any younger, number 2 took around 6 months of most enjoyable effort – then bang, positive test inside 4 weeks – accounting for the general malaise she thought she’d eaten some dodgy houmous 😀

Controlled crying … I fail to see what’s controlled about it. The ‘be there but don’t try to engage too much approach works for me, I can’t leave them crying for more than a few minutes