Quick etiquette question (baby content)

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  • Quick etiquette question (baby content)
  • dan1980
    Member

    When you discover (through a 3rd totally unrelated party) that your brother & his missus have had a baby 7 weeks ago, do you:

    a) send a card/flowers/cuddly toy/congratulatory message
    b) wait to be told by your own family that you’re an uncle before doing anything?

    Confused of New Mills…

    Junkyard
    Member

    I assume you are not close so i doubt it really matters

    personally b

    Premier Icon scaredypants
    Subscriber

    blimey – did you even know she was pregnant ?

    If you’re not on speaking terms, then either “why bother now” or “this is a great time to start over”

    Premier Icon bruneep
    Subscriber

    what junky says. bad form by them IMHO

    Even if not on speaking terms or particularly close then I think you should send a nice card and pressie and take the higher moral high ground. Its about the little nipper after all and not the parents and it might foster a closer relationship. Kids need cool uncles to visit and kick a football around, or ride a bike with or whatever it is they like to do.

    Wobbliscott originally from up the road in Disley!

    dan1980
    Member

    We’re not exactly close (Last thing I heard was the two of them were planning to divorce!), but having spoken to my dad at least 7 times in the past 7 weeks, I’d of thought it’s sort of a good thing to respond with when asked “Has anything exciting happened down your end?”

    🙄

    Premier Icon martinhutch
    Subscriber

    Wobbliscott has it – present, card and friendly words is the correct thing to do, however eyebrow-raising the lack of communication in your family is.

    Is it someone else’s? That’s one possible reason for a lack of celebratory trumpeting.

    iolo
    Member

    You’re brother didn’t have the common decency to let you know?
    As said, you can’t be close.
    Personally I would call him to see how he is.
    If he mentions nothing he’s a prat and don’t bother with him again.

    Premier Icon NZCol
    Subscriber

    ^ what he said.

    You are totally sure that it is your brother that this unrelated 3rd party is talking about? No chance of crossed wires?

    If they are actually getting divorced and you send them the “lets let bygones be bygones, congratulations on the kid!” letter it might be… interesting?

    Your family so you will know better, but it does seem like an ideal opportunity for your dad to have mentioned it if you asked such an open question (or he isn’t particularly excited).

    Premier Icon andyfla
    Subscriber

    a) send a card/flowers/cuddly toy/congratulatory message

    If it was my dad he would have assumed my mother would have told me and he would rather discuss the golf.
    If it is a mistake you will have something to talk about with your brother about how the grapevine works.
    Take the high ground.

    Premier Icon jam bo
    Subscriber

    is it yours?

    Premier Icon chakaping
    Subscriber

    You are assuming your parents know about it.

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    You are assuming your parents know about it.

    and I was thinking that the OP’s brother’s sat there thinking “I told Mum and Dad on the day, they must have told him and not even a bloody card from him 7 weeks later!”.

    yunki
    Member

    wwasawas has it..

    there are far more intensely imminent things to worry about when you’ve just had a baby than how your brother that never really gets in touch is coping with the news of your child..

    rocketman
    Member

    Personally, do nothing and carry on riding bikes

    Cards and relatives and that sort of thing is the mrs department I don’t get involved.

    Nieces nephews and other people’s kids in general = total PITA

    ti_pin_man
    Member

    Personally I would call him to see how he is.
    If he mentions nothing he’s a prat and don’t bother with him again

    call him and fein ignorance and see if he says they’re expecting. straight from the horses mouth. then send a card/flowers if he admits it.

    Families are strange and nowt so funny as folk. My misses is 13 weeks pregnant and we haventn told my sister or dad yet, we will soon, and certainly wont wait till the child arrives BUT we didnt want to spread the news until we are certain many of the medical ‘dangers’ are passed.

    Premier Icon sandwicheater
    Subscriber

    Life is too short, get in contact and send all of column A.

    I’ve 3 brothers and we were never close but have really made an effort in last year and feel better for it.

    eskay
    Member

    My boss found out that his brother (who lived about 5 miles away) had died via Facebook. Life is too short, try to keep in touch.

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