Talk of alcoholism here but op says he drinks heavily occasionally, not just to function. If you can find a reason then that’s all very millennial and worthy, but stopping drinking to excess is the real issue here.

Just wind it in OP, go home after a pint, switch to juice or freaking Caliber if it’s that desperate. You owe it to your family, you are not the important one today.

I have a tendancy towards bindge drinking but i found it was easier to control when there was really good reasons not to drink. Unfortunatly, for me at least, it tends to mean the drinking is not really the problem, there is normally some underlying problem that leads me to drink as an escape.

So yeah, get help but take a good hard look at why you can’t limit yourself.

As above, it’s about social habit rather than addiction. So find a different social habit. Join a sport club/gym and turn that into your Friday/Saturday night habit.

Make firm plans/bookings for weekend mornings with your wife and kids which involve you being up and sober first thing and stick to them.

Don’t worry too much about your drinking buddies – you know where to find them on the rare occasions in future that you fancy a bigger night out (or not, if you want to stop completely). It could be that in future, you’ll be able to help a couple of them out of the same hole.

There certainly is no shame in stepping back from these people and taking a break from that lifestyle.

I’d predict you will feel so energised after a few weeks that you won’t want to go back to where you were.

Agree with martinhutch above, make plans, do stuff, get something to focus on other than a session.

Also, have a look at the folk around you in your local, the sad lonely habitual drinkers, and ask yourself if you want to be like that. I find that quite a motivation.

Thanks everyone, so points in there have really made me think.
I’ve decided to term the situation going “Alcohol Free”.
I can see I have a problem with aspects of drinking, although I’m not comfortable with the term alcoholism (yet?). I’m thinking of speaking to someone professionally. We have a good employee assistance programme at work who I think would be a good start.

I also spent this evening writing up all the reasons I want to quit drinking. Read about this one website who said it can help. Will see how it goes.

I also changed my username – used to be woodlikesbeer. But it got in the way of bikes, which I like more!

Used to have zero drinks in the week and a few on fridays and saturdays . Never an issue but the craving for friday first drink annoyed me .

Now if i fancy a drink in the week I will have it . and I am not fussed about week end drinks anymore .

I decided i was drinking a bit too much, bottle of wine between two most night.
Decided to read an alan carr book.
Allen Carr’s Easyway to Control Alcohol by Allen Carr.
Found myself giving up for quite a few months,and drink less now.
Read the book, very empowering ..

I just turn down invites to nights out that are obviously going to turn into too much. A few drinks with the right people, in the right place… fine… avoid all drinking “sessions”… any friend that tries to stop you swapping beers for water or a soft drink to moderate the night… avoid them. Or at least avoid drinking with them. Invite them out to do something in a non drinking situation.

I decided i was drinking a bit too much, bottle of wine between two most night.
Decided to read an alan carr book.
Allen Carr’s Easyway to Control Alcohol by Allen Carr.
Found myself giving up for quite a few months,and drink less now.
Read the book, very empowering ..

I read the same as I had a problem that was affecting family life. Not had a drink since December 2016 and feel so much better for it. So is family life 🙂

seosamh77 – Member
There’s a really easy solution, see my first post.

Here’s an easy solution. Pack it in. You are being far from helpful and trying to troll – as seems to be your habit.

If you must contribute to these type of threads, start more with the longer more detailed posts you end up posting and less with the purposely inflammatory one liners.

Here’s an easy solution. Pack it in. You are being far from helpful and trying to troll – as seems to be your habit.

No, thats not the way I see it. The OP has a problem, not so much the amount he drinks but the effect it’s having on his family. Also the fact he realises this and wants to do something about it.
A group cuddle is ok in some circumstances but the OP is neglecting his family and needs a kick up the arse before it all goes horribly wrong 🙁
If he were a mate of mine I’d be doing this along with any practical support I could manage.
OP by the sound of it your only just in control at the moment, this weekend give the pub a miss. You don’t need strangers on the internet to make this decision for you, make it yourself.

Having a pop at Seosamh77 is all well and good but did you read his post? It reads as though he’s been on the receiving end of the behaviour the op is displaying. Sometimes a reminder that it’s not just about us but behaviour affects others too.

Aye, Joe will generally say it like it is, if you don’t want differing, honest opinions, then maybe the broad church of the internet isn’t the place to ask….

I binge drank for years 16-35, now 40, the weekends to me are for more important for riding my bike and spending time with the wife and or friends/ family,

The hangovers and illness just made weekends boring in bed feeling sh1tty. Don’t get me wrong it was at times fun and I’ve seen the world and it’s many bars and nightlife

I’ve never had an addictive personality and so see myself lucky, we have stages in life and it seems you are hanging on to your youth..

As others have said, go out and drive to the pub see what your friends are like, don’t drink any alcohol , you’ll realise it’s the same conversation over and over.
Plan things for a morning and stick to them.

If I know I’m gonna have a heavy one these days I.ll ensure my next day is free, or plan an easy bike ride or walk out with the wife, do other activities with friends, ride bikes go camping,

Only you know if an odd beer during the week is going to be harmful, personally I can give or take.

Drinking and nights out was always about the social, when I get with friends we don’t mean to swig beer after beer it just happens, are your friends in good places emotionally and in good relationships .. if u see a trend it maybe time to give up

Having a pop at Seosamh77 is all well and good but did you read his post? It reads as though he’s been on the receiving end of the behaviour the op is displaying.

No, if you see his other recent post he is going through a very different crisis of his own and is simply off-loading I think. Which is somewhat ironic that he asks for advice on one thread then flames someone on another thread for asking for their own advice.

😥

I’d say recognising your alcoholism for what it is is the first stage of not being an alcoholic.

There’s a wealth of resources out there to help you stop, the next stage is to reach out to them

Good luck

I think you kinda know the answer, the fact is that it is affecting your home life and your relationship with wife and children, you have to ask yourself which you want to lose, your family or your mates down the pub?

If it is the social interaction you like rather than the drink itself, join a mountain bike club where you have a load of like minded people, and where often you can just have a pint afterwards and stop there?

One of my best climbing pals was a chap from Norn’ Iron who also had the binge habit; he would get slaughtered most weekends and couldn’t open a bottle of Powers and not finish it. During the week he was a normal, sober, intelligent bloke and possibly amongst the one million on this Earth who really make a difference.

He died of liver failure in his early fifties, Daddy to a young son. The liver is an amazing organ that can mostly self-repair from mild damage but repeated abuse will eventually kill it.

We all miss him badly.

Hiya,

I used to drink a little too much I just cut out drinking during the week altogether. The problem I had was I didn’t like sugary drinks, the alternative. Well that was the case till my other half suggested I should try tomato juice, so now I have Tomato juice with loads of Tabasco 😉

JeZ

Maybe just get some plans for the weekend so you don’t go out.

If a night out is a social thing just go out less often and skip rounds or drink slower.

It sounds like things are coming to a head and you know what you have to do.

I stopped drinking 18 months ago and it has all been positive. More money, fewer calories, no crushing, depressive hangovers. No shame, better health and sleep. Any social obstacles are in your mind, most people don’t get wasted all the time, more than you think don’t really drink at all.

Crack on!

I quit drinking and drugs for similar reasons. I appear to have no off switch and some pretty self destructive tendencies. Wish I could offer other advice, but if I were you I’d knock drinking on the head unless you’re confident you can just go out for one or two.

If it’s any consolation I don’t miss it in the slightest.

Don’t be too hard on yourself about the ‘one pint’ thing. Who in the history of the world really goes out for one pint?

on this point – me – its my normal pattern over decades

one is more than enough for me

However I understand and am close to people who are seldom actually sober in their lives

i used to binge loads too. but nowadays its quite simple – there is no way im sacrificing my saturday morning ride for friday night boozing! ill still have few, I also look forward to that beer on a friday! ive just learnt when to throw a bag on it rather than end up ‘out out’

As much as i enjoy a night out on the beer, i value waking up without hangovers more!

Afternoon drinking is the one. as long as i get a good, long nights sleep on the back of a skinful im usually alright!

I have to admit to liking a drink on a night (most nights) and sometimes drink more than I should but bloody hell – how much are people drinking that it means they can’t actually function the next day? I think if I ever drank so much (unless it was a special occasion like my 50th last year when the next day really was a write-off) that I would be told pretty quickly and in no uncertain terms to sort myself out by my wife.

I pretty much don’t drink any more, I had years of serious binge drinking in my 20s. For me, a big help is having mates who are into daytime fun, biking, camping, surfing, whatever it might be, so you can get your fix of social interaction without having to get pissed.

I had to ditch some friends who couldn’t cope with hanging out with someone who doesn’t drink.

The main thing is you acknowledge it as a problem and you want to do something about it.

I don’t drink very often anymore not at all during the week and maybe one weekend a month probably miss the odd month throughout the year, find it hard to drink enough to get as bad I used to when I was younger as I just seen to get to a point where I just stop whereas old me would have ignored this feeling…

I just seen to get to a point where I just stop

Kinda the same for me – I might have a few tins whilst cooking but then stop when I sit down and eat my dinner.

Also when I say “younger” I’m 27 so I peaked very early in my drinking career

Figuring out some good reasons to change your habits, and keep reminding yourself of them, I think you’ve made a good start, OP.

These days I find myself healthier, wealthier and wiser without the habit(s). And don’t miss them either.

After similar experiences and trying a few different strategies (with varying degree’s of success) I felt that at some point I always ended up in a similar place in how I felt about my drinking.

I read Alan Carr’s Stop Drinking Now just after new year and am now teetotal. Remove the alcohol and you will remove the problem. The problem is the alcohol and how as a drug it convinces us wrongly it provides us with a benefit rather than a load of negatives.

Its a good book in that it helps to convince you that you arent actually giving anything up. You are liberating yourself from a load of stress and hassle.
Ok, you could say its only been two weeks but writing this post is the first time I have actually thought about how long its been since my last drink. I’m not bothered about counting the days because it makes no difference because I dont drink.
I spent nearly 4 hours on the pub yesterday and only had two large glasses of fizzy water and trust me I’d normally be several pints and probably half or more a bottle of wine down in that time and looking for more when I got home!

Not read everything but having a close friend who is in a similar situation I can say this:

AA won’t want to know, you’re not the right fit. However, go and speak to your GP and they will be able to refer you to an alcohol councillor. My friend cleared all the booze out their house (most of it to mine!) and has been teetotal since. They can drink, they are allowed to drink but they would just rather not as, like yourself, they didn’t know when to stop.

squirrelking – Member

AA won’t want to know, you’re not the right fit. However, go and speak to your GP and they will be able to refer you to an alcohol councillor. My friend cleared all the booze out their house (most of it to mine!) and has been teetotal since. They can drink, they are allowed to drink but they would just rather not as, like yourself, they didn’t know when to stop.

Seriously? I think the OP should attempt to make changes to his lifestyle on his own first, then if he is unable to make those changes stick perhaps seek help.

You think someone that binge drinks on the weekend should go to AA? – A close member of my OH’s family is a ‘real’ alcholic, not what people describe on here that think they drink too much, binge on weekends or have 3 pints a night.

He drinks 3 bottles of wine a night, plus beer, he drinks whisky by the litre bottle (in a night), he drinks in the day, he retired early because of it, he couldnt drive to work because of it.
He has now changed colour, has pissed blood, cant drive anywhere, forgets almost every conversation he has and repeats the same story over and over again. His life is OVER, his family have tried to get him to AA, he wont go, GP, he wont go, tried blackmail, getting angry, not visiting him, nothing works so its now an impossible situation.

There are people with drink problems and issues, and alcoholics, try not to confuse the two.

Crankrider, did you quote the wrong post ?

You are basically saying the same thing as the post you quoted, while sounding you are arguing against it.

Am I? He suggested seeing the GP and would suggest AA if he ‘fit’ – that’s my understanding anyway.

It was also a response to the general attitude of assigining anyone with a minor drink problem an alcoholic.

I said nothing of the sort!

Perhaps read it again, I said he didn’t sound like the right fit for AA. To expand I mean he doesn’t sound like a typical alcoholic therefore not suited to AA.

My friend was in exactly the same situation as the OP and by going to the doctor they got referred to the RIGHT person for counselling. I never once said either were alcoholics nor was that implied.

Why did I recommend a councillor?

I cannot see myself having the willpower to do moderate drinking, so I’ve concluded I need to go tee-total. I did the same with weed which I became hopelessly addicted to during uni. I just stopped. But with alcohol I am worried that it will not be so easy.

Has anyone been through something similar and got any tips?

That’s why. Because I’ve seen it before.

AA most certainly do deal with binge drinking and many of the people who attend do so for that very reason. Binge drinking is professionally recognised as being a massive problem. Not that I am in any way implying the OP needs to go I would add. I do agree that there is a difference between alcoholism and binge drinking. An alcoholic might binge drink but you can be a binge drinker without being an alcoholic.
Irrespective of the above the same trigger exists for both and that is the first drink that you have, not as many binge drinkers may think the fourth or fifth.

I was only going by my firends experience. They contacted AA and were told their problem wasn’t suited to them.

johndoh – Member
I just seen to get to a point where I just stop

Kinda the same for me – I might have a few tins whilst cooking but then stop when I sit down and eat my dinner.

midday boozing!! slippery slope…