Hi guys,

Prenups:

1. What is the cheapest and best way to sort one out?

2. What is some good basic advice apart from coke and hookers?

3. Over the time we have been together, she had really bad spending problem which I have helped her out with large sums to clear the debt. It’s been a hard road to re-educate her regarding this issue.
I have other property. I own the house we live in which my partner pays money for living expenses.
How do I protect fairly my assets with property and investment?

Any sound tips appreciated.

Elliot

Both of you need to get independent legal advice on the issue, well in advance of any nuptials.

Absolutely no idea on the specifics, but I take it you’ve already spoken to her about it?

Is she Amber Heard? ‘Cos it didn’t make a lot of difference there.

If you’re in the UK, a prenup is not legally binding.

You get proper legal advice, its too important for anything other than that.

End of thread

I’d suggest you need to think very carefully about whether you are doing the right thing…………

This ^^^

How do I protect fairly my assets with property and investment?

Don’t get married!!! 🙂

You’re either in it together – for better or for worse – or not at all.

As above. If you can’t trust her why are you marrying her?

If you’re in the UK, a prenup is not automatically legally binding but will be upheld by a court so long as it meets the qualifying criteria

FTFY

https://www.footanstey.com/article/guide-to-prenuptial-agreements-in-the-uk/

You’re either in it together – for better or for worse – or not at all.

Agree. Part of getting married is that acceptance and if you don’t want to accept that don’t get married. It is not as though it makes a whole lot of difference any more.

as above really.

but in reality your screwed

I believe the Massey prenup has never been penetrated.

When you get married, her problems become your problems. This is kind of the whole point. I’m not saying you can’t be together but if this is your attitude then what’s the point of marriage?

A friend is currently going through a divorce. I reckon her lawyer will turn the pre-nup into worthless confetti. And quite right too, he was a dick getting it in the first place. What I won’t tell her is that she would have perhaps been been better off not getting married and just billing him for cleaning, cooking, sex, being a mother and a decorative accessory on his arm at social events.

Don’t get married!!! 🙂

You’re either in it together – for better or for worse – or not at all.

Brutal, but if you were a mate then I’d say exactly this to you.

Is she fit?

Is her name Louise?

If you have majorly different attitudes towards money the relationship isn’t viable long-term.

Differences in values just corrode a relationship until it crumbles away.

Marry someone you have *no* doubts about beyond their inexplicable love for some TV program.

You don’t even have to get married for her to have a claim on your property. If she can show and demonstrate she has materially contributed to the upkeep of the property then she has a claim. This could even be something as minor as contributing to the household chores like cleaning. You have to be meticulous about keeping her and your property separate. She can’t decorate, some on diy stuff or anything. If she does then she has a stake in the event of a break up.

And a mate of mine took legal advice and
to all intents and purposes and in the real world a prenup is a waste of time was the advice he was given. There may be some legal frameworks where they could be honoured but they’re so obscure you’d probably struggle to get them upheld.

If you have assets worth protecting by a prenup then you’ll be able to protect them through other means. If you don’t then there is no point getting a prenup. What sort of things are you looking to shield against a possible divorce?

I believe the Massey prenup has never been penetrated.

🙂

Marrying someone who can’t manage money is a recipe for you both to end up impoverished.

Walk away.

+1 to walk away. You’ll be miserable even if you can protect some of your cash.

….and if, as I suspect, you’re marrying her to keep her happy, she will resent you for it and will use it as a stick to beat you with. She’ll make sure you are more miserable than her, and she’ll have the rest of your life to keep you miserable.

If there’s doubt, there’s no doubt. If you walk away she’ll be sad for a few weeks, if you stick around she’ll be miserable for the rest of her life. (…so will you.)

I honestly thought that only celebs used prenups because they pretty much knew they weren’t going to stay together.

Is this a wind up? Surely… Must be…. Hope so!

When this popped up earlier have to say my initial thought was why? As others have said you probably need to take some time to reflect on why you feel the need for a prenup and whether the marriage would be sustainable.

From your initial post it sounds like this could be a huge mess for you.

Don’t get married or give your property to me and I’ll give it back when you need it. No charge*

Others have said most of it but I would add – tone of your post doesn’t suggest a relationship based on love and there is a suggestion of control.

Her best bet would be to walk away and find someone else.

there’s an awful of presumption going on here, we don’t know anything about the Op or his partner.

there’s an awful of presumption going on here, we don’t know anything about the Op or his partner.

That’s probably the worst thing about this forum.

Do we need to know anything about OP or partner though?

A pre-nup is already planning and exit strategy, implying that one or both partners have doubts about the success of the marriage. That’s not a good start.

I may be old fashioned in my thinking but for me a marriage should be for life-or at least with the thought it will be.

The OP is fishing for ideas/opinions as he often does. People are providing them with their tongues in their cheeks. The forum is working perfectly.

My (now) wife and I had a cohabitation agreement draw up as we bought a house before we were married and my wife was putting a significant amount of (inherited) money in for the deposit. To keep this going, when we did get married it was turned into a pre-nup, which definitely felt a bit weird…

One thing I will say, is we each obviously had to get separate representation. My wife’s solicitor went about it as if we were splitting up the house at that time and devised some ludicrous formula for working out all parties contributions and scaling them for inflation (or deflation), proposing a deal heavily weighted in my wife’s favour….either that or her solicitor was really rubbish at maths. I think it was my wife’s put in x% of the deposit so would be entitled to x% of the house…conveniently ignoring potentially years and years (I would very much hope) of 50/50 split mortgage payments!

OP, the point I’m making is your other half will have their own solicitor advising them. Their solicitor will not act on behalf of you two as a couple, they will act and advise only in your other half’s best interests. It has the potential to get tricky as you’re already living together and she’s contributing.

NB We’re in Scotland and cohabitation/prenups seem to stand.

By paying living expenses she is paying your mortgage, just a smaller portion of it than you. As such whilst you are together and she is contributing then to be fair she does have a claim for a portion (albeit smaller than yours) of any assets, including their capital appreciation.

Even if you don’t have a mortgage this still applies.

Do either of you have kids already? That’s a good reason straight away for a pre-nup.

As a female of the species….my possibly unworthy advice not knowing anyone concerned would be don’t get married….walk away….nope, run as fast as you f*****g can… life’s too short to be worrying, stressing…it’s just not worth it. Positive vibes….

As a female of the species….

A female, on STW?

Whatever next. They’ll be wanting the vote soon….