AN ENGLAND footballer has taken out a High Court injunction in a bid to prevent a newspaper revealing their obsession with underage giraffe orgies.
The player was granted a so called 'super-injunction' late last night amid claims a Sunday tabloid had signed an exclusive deal with at least one of the 14ft tall herbivores.
The ruling prevents the media from disclosing the name of the player, but he is understood to be one of the ones that has two legs, an absurd car, a ghastly neo-something mansion with an indoor go-kart rink and a plastic wife or girlfriend with a pair of top-of-the-range knockers she bought in Dubai
I don't like this whole "super injunction" malarkey. If you live in the public eye, and if your lifestyle is funded by some (or all, in the case of public servants) of that public, then if you're caught bumming an octopus then on your head be it.
Wailing that "it might affect my family life" is all well and good, but surely you shouldn't have got all jiggity with a cephalopod mollusc in the first place?
