Dropped the car in at a local tyre/repair centre this morning to have the off side rear tyre replaced. Was warned that the apprentice was on tyres today and it might be a while, so wandered off into town to do a few errands and have a coffee.

Came back to find the front end of the car jacked up and both front wheels off. 🤦‍♂️

The apprentice is looking a bit panicky.

Try saying left or right side rather than off side.

I’d be worried he doesn’t know the front from the back……

Try saying left or right side rather than off side.

Your left or my left or the cars left?

Drivers side or passenger side is safest.

Unless you drive a LHD car…

It’s a bit shit of the business to let him just do it without any support though. Surely the point of being an apprentice is to learn from more experienced colleagues, not to be told what to do then to be left to get on with it?

Does he also get tasked with going to get tartan paint, glass hammers and long stands too?

Reminds me of when the boss had a hands free kit fitted to his new company Merc (this was back in the day when any self-respecting executive type had a Parrot hands free kit fitted). They sent out a new kid to do it.

After much head scratching he declared it was impossible as try as he might he couldn’t find the right feed off the wiring loom. In desperation he had been shaving off the outer coating of a few wires to try and find a voltage but just couldn’t.

Turns out he had been cutting into the fibre optics that did the data feed for the dash display etc and had completely knackered it, hence why he couldn’t find a voltage. £3k to replace – which of course the fitting co did stand to.

His words – well I’ve never had to do a posh Merc before…

Your left or my left or the cars left?

What a bizarre question?

Your left or my left or the cars left?

What a bizarre question?

Left of car when stood in front looking at it or left when sat in the drivers side. Any clearer?

Potentially also looking at the side of the car from the drives side or passengers side in which case left/right becomes front/back in normal speak.

From abouyt 2:40 in this : https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x33ffu3

Left of car when stood in front looking at it or left when sat in the drivers side. Any clearer?

Potentially also looking at the side of the car from the drives side or passengers side in which case left/right becomes front/back in normal speak.

Precisely.

That’s why drivers side/passenger side front/rear is almost infallible.

I say ‘almost’ because of LHD drive cars and…

(this was back in the day when any self-respecting executive type had a Parrot hands free kit fitted).

Middle manager don’t you mean, us Exec types had fully functioning Nokia car kits 🙂

Yeah, I hate ‘left and right’ because it varies depending on if you are driving it, or if you are standing in front with your head in the bonnet. I could tell you that the timing belt is on the left hand side of the engine in a VW Passat but that’s the right hand side of the car. And the auxiliary belt is to the left of that, closer to the right hand side. So if you are driving and hear a noise coming from the right hand side of the engine that could be the auxiliary belt, the one on the left side of the engine.

You can quibble about what nearside and offside should mean, but they have specific definitions and aren’t terms used for anything else at any point. I’ve just realised that this is why they use port and starboard on ships.

Aircraft carriers have port, starboard, left and right because sometimes planes and helicopters are nose to stern.

Off side – away from kerb

Nearside – nearest to kerb

As we drive on the left in the uk it is of no consequence whether the car is rhd or lhd.

(ex mechanic, common parlance that is used)

How many pages of semantic arguments are we going to have to read before we find out what the unfortunate apprentice did to the car?

Incidentally, as someone who used to own a LHD car, I got used to specifying near/off side, left/right side, and passenger/drivers side before reminding them again it was a LHD. Never had any issues but I was very paranoid about it.

M/S and F/S innit.

Mothers side and Faithers side.

Offside tyre is behind the 2nd pedestrian and in front of the ball when the ball is played

Try saying left or right side rather than off side.

The garage wrote the job card, not me.

I’m not blaming the apprentice, should have been better supervised. All sorted now, appears to have a full complement of bolts on each wheel….

Left of car when stood in front looking at it or left when sat in the drivers side. Any clearer?

The left side of the car is left side of the car, end of.
If you happen to be standing outside the car facing the front of the car head-on then it might be on your right, but that doesn’t impact the fact that it’s still the front left of the car.

Having said all of which I agree that when dealing with stupid people you might be better saying driver/ passenger side.

How many pages of semantic arguments are we going to have to read before we find out what the unfortunate apprentice did to the car?

It’s all kinda moot anyway when the apprentice had both front wheels off to repair a rear tyre.

Vehicles are left and right in the direction of travel by convention (sitting inside and looking out).

River left / River right…

Your left or my left or the cars left?

Drivers side or passenger side is safest.

Unless you drive a LHD car…

Nonsense.

You would have been lauged out of the room in my experience in the world of vehicle design and maintenance.

Left side. Or Right side. That is the only nomenclature anyone should use!

Aircraft carriers have port, starboard, left and right because sometimes planes and helicopters are nose to stern.

That’s an interesting point because the port side is simply the l/h side as you face forward, the starboard side the r/h as you face forward. You wouldn’t describe the r/h side of a ship as being ‘the port side if you stand in front looking at it’. But some people seem to think that if you talk about the left hand side of the car then you were probably in the boot facing backwards.. 😀

I’m not blaming the apprentice, should have been better supervised. All sorted now, appears to have a full complement of bolts on each wheel….

Have you checked they’re your wheels? 😁

A mechanic bent my car door on the ramp when lifting it, apparently the apprentice tried to warn the mechanic but it was too late. Leased company car that was fixed pretty quickly so no real harm done.

The apprentice later today:

All bolts may be present but have you checked they’re suitably tight – not too much, not too little…
Does your tyre shop teach apprentices on the basis of…watch one, do one, teach one?

Left side. Or Right side. That is the only nomenclature anyone should use!

The point is that those terms have other meanings and as we’ve seen it’s easy to confuse. Process should reduce confusion wherever possible.

But some people seem to think that if you talk about the left hand side of the car then you were probably in the boot facing backwards..

When working on a car you are very often facing the other way, yes. Just like on a ship you could be walking either forewards or.. aftwards, I suppose.

I once got a cracking price on two Conti Eco’s for the car, when I got back the two rear tyres had indeed been changed to Conti Eco’s. The one’s still leaning on the wall were the correct size, the ones fitted were quite a lot deeper in section than the fronts. Looked all shades of wrong on a front wheel drive car!

When the garage uses the nearside etc terms I always reply with either driver or passenger side because those other terms mean nothing to me. Also left would be the left side of the car from the viewpoint of driving it forwards, any other ‘but what if you are looking at it from the side’ nonsense is just you trying to be a smart arse, I know because that’s the kind of shit I come out with in place of me having a functioning sense of humour.
I also don’t get inside and outside lane, I believe that inside is meant to be near the curb, but to me that it wrong, the centre/inside of the road is where the two opposite direction lanes meet and the outside is where the road meets the curb, like the whole road is a thing like a tube.

But anyway, what trouble has the poor lad (terrible sexist assumption) got himself into and how is the car?

Also left would be the left side of the car from the viewpoint of driving it forwards, any other ‘but what if you are looking at it from the side’ nonsense is just you trying to be a smart arse

Unless the bonnets up.

Here’s a conundrum. I’ve reversed my McLaren F1 onto a cross channel ferry. We’re exactly halfway between Calais (drive on the right) and Dover (drive on the left). I’m standing at the front of the car.
Which side am I talking about if I refer to:
-left?
-driver’s side?
-nearside?

And if I’m doing a handstand when I look at a car does that mean the sunroof is on the bottom?

Its really not hard. The left is the left. The right is the right.

Anyone who claims it easy to mix up – are you unable to distinguish between the front and the back in these photos?

Its using thing like drivers side, offside etc that are open to interpretation, not left and right!

The point is that those terms have other meanings

No, the don’t. Left is left.

When working on a car you are very often facing the other way, yes. Just like on a ship you could be walking either forewards or.. aftwards, I suppose.

You could be bloody anywhere, but it still wouldn’t affect which side of the car was the left hand side.

left would be the left side of the car from the viewpoint of driving it forwards, any other ‘but what if you are looking at it from the side’ nonsense is just you trying to be a smart arse

Basically this.

Apparently this thread is about an apprentice having a bad day in case anyone needed reminding.

Try saying left or right side rather than off side.

You’d have to be stupendously stupid to work in the UK car maintenance trade and not understand both what O/S and N/S mean AND why they are used. I’d imagine that it’s taught on day one.

Port and Starboard would be a suitable replacement.

Spare a thought for dentists..they spend an entire career looking in the mouths of patients and describing the teeth’s location (“upper right 8” etc etc) the wrong way around from where they are stood.

But back to the OP – forget the left/right/offside/nearside shenanigans… they went in for one tyres replacement and two were removed. Regardless of location, that’s one too many.

My aged mother took her polo in for a service at a VW garage in the middle of a highland winter. Advised her the front tyres were worn and should be replaced. She said yes. I saw the car 8 months later for the first time and they’d replaced them with summers. So summers on the front, winters on the back on a front wheel drive car. Lovely. They admitted their mistake and replaced with winters FOC when she queried.

Lol @bails these are important questions!

They were probably just looking at shox/brakes/tracking to try and relieve you of some more cash.

No, the don’t. Left is left.

And nearside is nearside.