..and never so timely in this perfunctory txt speak world of fora and tribulatory moral countenance..

Bat-fowling? 😐

Unchin-snouted? 😕

Yeasty?? 😯

Knotty-patted ❓

Pignut 😛

“Thou surly tickle-brained minnow”

Melikie!!

Blimey, instant Shakespeare!

Of course, the beslubbering clay-brained whey-faces may disagree… 🙂

I’m sure there’s an app for this. My mate texts me insults of this kind on an ad hoc basis and he’s not bright enough to come up with them himself

I was in an argument with a frothy slap mouthed strumpet only yesterday, if I’d had this I would have called her a ” droning boil brained harpy”

😀

Yeasty??

there’s cream for that

Natural yoghurt?

impertinent elf-skinned minnow..!!

😀

Headfirst – The Collings & Herrin Profanity app is a slightly more modern version of this, and is quite good

Reminds me of these.

Christ’s Soupy Beard! Its like an outbreak of Edwardian Tourettes! Damned Jackanapes!

For a fundraiser (for an artist friend who’d lost all his work and livelihood in a fire) I adapted a fruit machine, replacing all the fruit images on the wheels with segments of Brian Sewell’s art criticism, it was set so that if the words aligned to form one of Sewell’s beratings of a Turner Prize nominee it would pay out (except that I’d bent the innards so the payout didn’t reach the punter- it went to the good cause)

This is full of magnificence.

*doffs fedora in thanks*

This is what they saw in Russell Brands ear after they washed out all of the porn.