Partner has planted a Birch sapling in a dumb place on our lawn, it has to go.

She won’t care if it dies, but if I suggest getting rid she’ll dig her heels in.

So how can I kill it discreetly whilst pretending to love it?

If I bury 500g of salt next to it will it take out a wide area of grass?

Weedkiller?

Buy a puppy.

Bury something very smelly near the tree, e.g. a dead rabbit, or some old bones from the butcher.

Stand back and wait for the inevitable to happen.

Copper nails driven in below ground level…

Inject it with weedkiller?

glycophosphate on the leaves in spring.

Replant it somewhere less dumb . 😕

Move it after the leaves fall.

Copper nails thing is a myth, sadly, otherwise I’d use them to kill the massive sycamore next door

Cut a ring of bark all the way round the tree

“Cut a ring of bark all the way round the tree”

I like this. Can it be done below the soil, 3mm be enough of a gap?

You need a beaver,

Then build a small water feature ,watch said beaver as it goes to town

RHS says ground level and you can blame the squirrels
https://www.rhs.org.uk/advice/profile?PID=922

“You need a beaver,”

That’s why I don’t want to start a row about a tree.

We’re not talking a tree here though are we? It’s a twig. I don’t know…squash it and say it must have been an intruder? Or just get a spade and move it. Should take all of 18 seconds to dig it out.

“We’re not talking a tree here though are we? It’s a twig. I don’t know…squash it and say it must have been an intruder? Or just get a spade and move it. Should take all of 18 seconds to dig it out.”

All true.

I’m still gonna use roundup. 🙂