How to convince someone who hates mountain biking to, er, not hate it?

I’m liking the fact that you took round the red loop in Philips. You knob.

Ha, tell me about it! My internal idiot siren went off as soon as I went down the hill. But alas, it was too late!

Might hit the blues this weekend if it’s nice. Can you ride there from town on the canal?

You might also ask her what her idea of a good ride would be. That way you would know whether it is weather, hills, technical stuff, cold temperatures etc. that she particularly doesn’t like the sound of. You could then plan rides to take account of these.

I’d say that all the advice about making her the focus of joint rides is very important. This will help to ensure she enjoys her riding and ultimately will want to do more.

Errr, why do blokes always do this?! 😉

I do a bit of MTB coaching that tends to be women who want to get into the sport – the majority have some awful story about their other half taking them to trail centres etc which are too tricky for beginners!

As someone who also learnt to mountain bike with their ex years ago (he took me to the Cwmcarn red for my first ever off road ride!!) I TOTALLY remember what it was like to be a beginner. I find people who have been riding a number of years tend to forget just how tricky it is….?

The bikes feel funny, everything feels skittish off road, turning corners is a nightmare blah blah. All the stuff that you don’t see as ‘tricky’ actually is if you have not ridden off road before. Plus the fact that’s it’s knackering!

I would suggest a friendly ride around a local blue (if you’re near a trail centre) or bridleway stuff. Keep it fairly flat, and have a few breaks along the way. I’d also suggest holding back on any helpful tips for the first few sessions – I know people only try to help, but I think beginners need to get that spark of ‘fun’ before it gets too much into the detail 🙂

Hope that helps!

If she wants to ride then she should take the effort to get a bike or work with you to build one up. If she still wants to ride it then she should research what and where she wants to ride and ask if you’d like to come along. If its you doing all the work here then she’s really not that interested is she.

If that happens then she’ll be serious and you’ll have a future riding together. If not, resign yourself to the occaisional ride along a towpath to a tearoom and she can get a gym membership.

Edit – cuts both ways and applies to He’s and She’s.

Easy answer. It needs to be flat and dry. Also provide a picnic.

The route around upper derwent and howden reservoirs is good. park at the car park have a bacon butty and a cup of tea then ride up around the reservoirs. another cup of tea, bikes back in the car and go for a pub lunch on the way home.
It’s easy as it’s mostly flat but makes you feel like you’ve done something cos there is a 2 or 3 ups. lovely on a sunny day winter or summer.

Nice route, nice conditions and an objective that doesn’t involve “getting round the red”. It is sadly you who needs to change perspective. I’ve taught plenty of children and novices to ride off-road. Their motivation is not usually the adrenaline rush, more the cafe or picnic. Lower your expectations to having a pleasant time out together, and seeing her become more confident. A red route is not the place to achieve that. Nor many a Blue route for that matter.

Yunki has it right. Start again with an apology, followed by something non-challenging with a good break for lunch in a pleasant spot. Towpaths, firetracks, plus the odd bridleway.

Then if she is so inclined, go for some coaching – I’ve taught absolute beginners on Green and Blue at Swinley – then, and only then if she so desires, take her to more challenging trails.

I’d also add that you need stuff to be flat. Something you consider a mild slope that you’d coast down no-brakes can be a terrifying steep section.

It can be very hard to see something as “steep” that’s below your threshold for it.

I’d also add that you need stuff to be flat. Something you consider a mild slope that you’d coast down no-brakes can be a terrifying steep section.

It can be very hard to see something as “steep” that’s below your threshold for it.

Mrs bafink still tells people about the “gnarly drop-offs” she did when I took her for a poodle around swinley

I think you are getting the idea now – personally I wouldn’t take her to a trail centre unless that’s your only option – riding amongst a bunch of trees isn’t that interesting if you are not in to the technicalities of the trail in front of you. Being able to stop and admire the view will be much more appealing.

Find a local feature of interest that neither of you have been to or not been to for a long while. Ideally it will be near a bridleway and even better if it has a cafe attached or there’s a good pub nearby. Now work out a route to and from that feature that isn’t going to be too hilly or, at this time of year, too boggy. Make the return easier than the route out: “we’ll go to X, then come back along the canal tow path” type of thing. The route to and from the destination should be 3 – 5 miles each, that’s going to be more than enough for a beginner, maybe have a cafe near the end as well.

I think exploring on a mountainbike is a better approach than “going mountainbiking”

Windfarms are good!

And sessioning sections at glentress. Ride up to the carpark then a couple of trips round berm baby berm to warm up the ‘relax and have fun muscles’

What everyone else has said basically, make it easy for them. I took my gf round the blue at Glentress for her first time and she really enjoyed it. However, she’s since come to the conclusion that she’s too lazy for it and would much rather sit on the sofa drinking tea and reading while I’m out getting muddy!

Interesting that you said she hated Phillips Park red as I’ve been threatening to make the gf come with me, and I never really stopped to think how it would be for a beginner as it just seems like an easy blast with some fun bits to me! Thinking about it though I can see that it’d look steep in places if you’re just starting out.

Also, my gf HATES me trying to teach her anything that she doesn’t pick up quickly (which has resulted in a few incidents while trying to teach her how to snowboard!), so your partner might be more open to learning from someone else if you bring them along.

Make it enjoyable, coffee stop, lunch in the dry nice B&B weekend or hotel with dinner etc etc etc Its not rocket science. Hire a decent full sus. I took my daughter to CyB. Never ridden MTB before. Hotel, good food. First day was tution on site on hard tail by local trail guy. Basics, blues, cornering braking etc I also joined in the class too. Second day I hired her a full sus and we together we did some more blues then a very easy short bit of red. Lunch in cafe etc etc She never fell off and has since converted to MTB.

Not in the rain, mud, crap hire bike, freezing cold, no tuition. Not as a first ride. TBH the issue is with you and taking someone out in challenging conditions. I’ve seen this approach (sink or swim) a few times it dosent work. Once she’s intrested then suggest you both go on a days tuition – its not for you its for her – be there and enjoy it.

Also, my gf HATES me trying to teach her anything that she doesn’t pick up quickly (which has resulted in a few incidents while trying to teach her how to snowboard!),

So, she’s having an affair!?

I was in the same boat with my bf, I’d always been ‘into’ MTBs and wanted Chris to come with me mainly as a way for us to get fitter as we’d both got a little doughy, so I bought a couple of cheap bikes and we had a few rides down the local cycle route for a cuppa and a cream scone. A few of those later and now he ‘gets’ having a much better bike and often goes out for a potter/blast without me in tow. He’s still not convinced of the whole going out and getting manky for the sake of it side of things, but at least he does now enjoy a gentle schralp of the local gnar when it’s dry or frozen. He had his first off on Monday, bless him, and I wasn’t there to see it. They grow up so quick >sniff<

In addition to all the sensible advice about getting the right bike, the right location, the right terrain, the right weather and the right duration I would suggest Sherwood Pines as an ideal location, if its not too far to get to.

It is relatively flat and has a dedicated Green, Blue and Red route. Because the routes loop out from the car park, then most of the time, you are never more than 15/20 mins ride away from the visitor centre (by fire road).

I always take beginners there and let them dictate the pace and duration. For example, when they get off to walk, I see that as a sign that maybe we need to think about how we get back. We always have lots of breaks and chats, to make it a pleasant sociable experience.

Hope that helps.

So, she’s having an affair!?

Because she hates me teaching her stuff? Hmm, she is surgically attached to her phone at all times so maybe she’s texting some mystery man. Saves me having to text her though!

b) share a hobby / spend time together etc.

She likes the idea of riding a bike in your company, Not actual MTBing as you would understand it.

My Missus has just about grasped the difference between a tootle along the local tow path (Her idea of a fun bike ride) and what I want to do.

Accept that and give over some time to sedate bimbling at her pace, along traffic free routes and you’ll be golden, she simply doesn’t want to ride gnarly singletrack Rail berms, hit doubles, go downhill, go fast at all, put in much effort to get up an incline or have to deal with arsey divers.

An occasional tow path trundle is all she’s after, a couple of hours once a week, and while she recovers on the sofa you can go for a proper ride…

Because she hates me teaching her stuff?

Ha! No, because you described my wife!

he took me to the Cwmcarn red for my first ever off road ride!!

A friend did this with his wife. There were tears, a thrown bike and a very quiet drive home. I don’t think he’d recommend it to others.

Because she hates me teaching her stuff?
Ha! No, because you described my wife!

Ah, makes sense now! Does she love pyjama’s and teapots and have the mouth of a sailor?

I wish I could get my husband to come mountain biking with me and the kids, but he won’t even try it 🙁

It would really help because the boys are 4 and 8 and could really do with each of them being taken on a different trail with a parent each.

Oh well, it isn’t going to happen…

I’m all ears!

Well I don’t know where you are but there are plenty of easy bridleways and byways in the Peak District. Use some of the purpose built trails (Monsal, High Peak)to link up with some tracks around Youlgreave for instance. Don’t forget either that it is permissible to get off and walk sections if too hard (up or down).

Ride somewhere nice. Pleasant trails with good views, not too techy (if at all). Good weather. Crank up the difficulty gradually.

This.

Also, I know my wife found down hills really scary, almost irrelevant of how steep, techy or narrow they were, stuff I barely registered as down hill she’d be scared of. Up hill was fine as she’s got a very good level of fitness already but down hill much less so. I’m not sure if it was the outright speed or the feeling of not being in control but whatever it was it gave her the fear. We got over this by riding flat, open terrain where she could build up a head of steam but still be in control (as opposed to gravity being in control) though in truth she’s still not a confident descender even on the road.

Trail centres are ok but there’s much more to ‘mountain biking’ than gnarly trails and flouro shorts (other stereotypes are available!) Bridleways, towpaths, local trails and other stuff around the doors and cycleable from home (if possible) would be the way to go to pique someone’s interest I think. Maybe also try to put the point across that there’s no right ‘look’, you can actually have fun in jeans and a t-shirt on a £100 second hand rigid 26er! 😀

Accept that and give over some time to sedate bimbling at her pace, along traffic free routes and you’ll be golden, she simply doesn’t want to ride gnarly singletrack Rail berms, hit doubles, go downhill, go fast at all, put in much effort to get up an incline or have to deal with arsey divers.

This.

Errr, why do blokes always do this?!

Erm… 😳 just reflecting the my wife’s first proper mountain bike ride (ie up from flat path pootling) was Traquair red at Innerleithen. A week before Christmas. With ice on the ground. She did well, though, only one mild panic episode! She rented a FS, I rode up on that and she rode up on my hardtail, and we swapped at the top.

She got an Orange Clockwork a little while later (the 200 frame reissue version) 80 miles of SDW over 2 days with mates the same summer, more and more, Singular Swift end of summer last year, took it to Antur Stiniog – just before Christmas again! Loved that though – lifts to the top are a big plus!

We’ve also done quite well getting her into ski touring, but we’re struggling with surfing and rick climbing – ready to call it quits with them – be boring if you liked all the same things!

Double post

ho ho! Just remembered the worst day ever on a bike. In Zermat in May, hoping to get a day or two of snowboarding on the glacier. low clouds and wind > lifts closed > hire mtn bikes instead.

Low level loop planned out, missed a turning, worked out where we were, gave her the options of over the top (high top, far away and up in the clouds all spelled out and pointed out) or turn back. She didn’t want to turn back.

So a bit later, in the sleet, I was pushing both bikes, she was hyper ventilating. We got over the top 2,000m (?) into the ski resort – the kind that always look bleaker than the moon without snow, earthworks and mud everywhere, no trees.

We found an open mtn restaurant, warmed up, calmed down, took switchback roads down the mountain, just sitting down, hands on the v brake levers, fingers so numb you can’t even feel if you’re braking or not. urg. Blue sky and a foot of powder on the glacier the next day made up for it!

It’s always darkest just before it starts to get light, it’s always hardest just before it gets easier.

I think you just have to realise that your wife probably wants to get something different out of it than you.

My wife is actually pretty decent on a bike, she’s managed the black route at GT along with a few other “difficult” trail centres, but she just isn’t doing it for the same reason I am. Her motivation is fresh air, exercise and a nice view. She’s not even remotely interested in the gnarr aspect of it (despite being reasonably good at handling a bike). To her a nice day out enjoying beautiful scenery on fireroads is better than a berm and jump fest at a trail centre.

Once I realised this (only took me about six years) it’s much easier for me to plan routes I know she will enjoy

I do a bit of MTB coaching that tends to be women who want to get into the sport – the majority have some awful story about their other half taking them to trail centres etc which are too tricky for beginners!

Just for balance my “mrs” is about Gnarrr^Sick times more hardcore than me when it comes to biking and the outdoors.

So from my one experience of both cycling and snowboarding. Do not push, at all, let her do it on her own terms and her own pace. Try to avoid being accidentally condescending when you think you are being encouraging. Make sure she really wants to do it rather than is secretly doing it to please you.

In general, most (i know not all and this is a sweeping generalisation) girls are nowhere near as gung ho as we are and are far more worried about the consequences of falling off. the constant grime and discomfort often bothers them more too.

as others have said, start VERY easy, short, fun in sunshine with little mud with a lady specific saddle.

Or consider both getting road bikes – my wife loves cycling but finds MTB too intimidating/muddy/scary. we’ve had a lot of really great rides on quiet lanes on road bikes though.

Get her a bike sorted – you’ve probably got a while til the weather will be nicer if that was an issue before. From my experience with ‘er indoors, give no advice, and if possible get her some knee pads and certainly some gloves.

The bike should be as light/XC race as possible – she won’t want to shred the gnar for a while so there is no benefit from having a beefier bike, and uphills IME have been at least as much of a stumbling block as downhills.

Oh and from a good friend whose girlfriend has come out on a few rides with us – don’t talk about how well or not she’s ridden stuff. It’s all about the fun (and should always be about the fun for everyone!). Make it absolutely clear to her that you are spending time with her and happy to be in the outdoors, and you really aren’t bothered about not being able to speed off. Most people at some point have worried about slowing down their riding buddies.

One tip is to do with being bike fit – applies to any beginner – and keeping rides shorter and easier in terms of exertion. Mrs Digga is fit, she runs marathons and stuff, which I’ve never done, but being bike fit is a different thing. Even relatively active people will naturally find they have less strength and stamina on a bike.

My wife quite likes decent singletrack, having covered most of Cwmcarn in small chunks, but her fitness is awful and she’s had a hard time with keeping her health up. Having anaemia so bad the doctor was surprised she’d walked in on her own; and having two small kids to firstly batter your body then deprive it of sleep for years takes its toll.

Shame really. The oldest is getting to the point now where we can go on rides – must get back to Brechfa green 🙂

…Brechfa Green…

…quite possibly the best trail in Britain.

Ok, so I’m a man with a plan.

Can anyone recommend a loop around Marple / Glossop / Edale / Hope? Basically I need to be able to jump on the train from Manchester? The one around Monsal seems a bit far to go.

Start from Hope heading to the cafe at Fairholmes and doing a low level lap of Ladybower or Derwent reservoir.

Make sure she’s comfy in every way, decent fitting clothing and equipment.

— edit —

If all goes well Mrs Pie is selling her sparkly Orange 5 diva 😀

Thanks Hindle Pie, the Bamford stop is best for Ladyblower isn’t it?

Yeah, Bamford is perfect heading North up here passing the big plug hole at the res.