Difficult one re money as she is 'getting on' a bit now but she if she can't get some extra cash from a part-time job then she obviously needs something from you. I wouldn't be tolerating tantrums at that age, they should have been over and done with years ago, she's an adult and should behave like one if she wants to be treated like one.

Does she help around the house to earn her keep, if not that is one way of justifying her allowance.

I can't really preach though, mine is 22 and although she had a paper round at 14 and a few jobs at uni, it certainly wasn't enough to pay for anything other than nights out, which is obviously much more important than food, clothing or rent.

She is presently in Rio before heading for Bolivia and then Chile. Trust me, anything you 'pay' her now will pale into insignificance a couple of years down the line 😯 😆

Khani – that's a great tip 🙂 I shall use that one.

Surfer – I have the same problem with my 12 year old "all my mates play on Modern Warfare…".

Other than that it's +1 for wot molgrips sed…

Molgrips makes sense. Work sucks and life is short, why spoil it for them just because your parents made it harder for you?

I don't think kids are so linear in their thinking that working for it makes them value money. I know two kids who's parents are insanely rich (think multiple millions pound houses on different continents) and they have lots of stuff. I have never once seen or heard them asking for anything.

Conversely I had numerous jobs throughout my teenager years as I only got 3 quid a week, and I am still a frivolous, money wasting, demanding and spoiled little shit.

My kids are only little 3 1/2 and 9 months, i am looking forward to sending them to private school, buying them stupidly expensive trainers and watching them live their lives of luxury, because that is what I hope will happen, call it a vicarious pleasure on my part but I really and honestly hope my kids have the life of Reilly.

I stopped getting pocket money when I was 13 and allowed to get a paper round.

When I was 17 I received no pocket money at all! I had a milk round before school and valeted cars at the weekend. I also laboured all of my summer holidays. As soon as I was 18 I worked in a bar. I had 3 jobs and school.

I was working so hard I failed all of my 'A' levels. 😐 (my university place was revoked.)

In a strange way I'm glad I missed uni and the debt (not the experience though) I now think I know the value of money better than most though.

Daughters are different though, wouldn't make mine work like I did, how's £100 a month sound? 🙂

DrJ – there are plenty of expat brats at the BSN in The Hague. Now I'm not a parent, but if I was I would be moving heaven and earth to make sure that my daughter didn't become one of them.

Whichever school she is in she will be learning enough Dutch to get a waitressing job, and working alongside the dutch will help her with the language more than getting lessons would.

So my prescription – tell her to go and earn whatever she wants to spend.

My mate on the desk opposite me is a farmers son, he knows the value of money and he is the tightest most miserable bastard I know, do we wish to turn our kids into people like that?

He certainly thinks more about his approach to his requests now, which was 99% of the problem tbh,

I think working does make kids appreciate the value of money. The language issue just seems a convenient excuse.

You need to make sure that work does not negatively impact on study but not too difficult imo.

Having a job teaches kids a sense of responsibility as well – maybe she would not be throwing tantrums at 18 if she had been doing a paper round from the age of 13?

Having a job teaches kids a sense of responsibility as well – maybe she would not be throwing tantrums at 18 if she had been doing a paper round from the age of 13?

Come on do you really think this statement is valid or makes any sense?

No one really knows how to bring up kids, they respond in the strangest ways to your inputs, and watching 999Nanny or whatever its called is not a way to learn how they will react either.

I did a paper round as a kid, and worked in the supermarket. I hated ever second of it and I grew up to be a debt-ridden spendthrift.

Kids are people, and are therefore a sh*tload more complicated than that. As a kid, if I had it I spent it, if I didn't I didn't. I bought some sensible stuff, some not. It didn't really matter where it came from.

Kids are people, and are therefore a sh*tload more complicated than that. As a kid, if I had it I spent it, if I didn't I didn't. I bought some sensible stuff, some not. It didn't really matter where it came from.

This is about as real and accurate as it gets..

Wow, some people on here are giving their kids shit loads of cash. This might explain why all my students can afford better phones than me.

I got a job when I was 12 to pay for my own things.

One thing I wish my parents had taught me though, was the value of money.

I'd say +1 for Molgrips, but also, she needs to understand why you can/can't give her x money.

If she works for it, she might value it, as long as you don't give it away willy nilly

Why not try a social experiment and give her all of your money and she has to pay the bills, shopping etc dish it out fairly.

What's the worst that could happen? 😯

but also, she needs to understand why you can/can't give her x money.

Yeah. I think it'd be good to be involved in the household management as a youngster – I had to find out a lot of stuff for myself later in life.

Pocket money stops at 18 in our house, 13 year old currently gets £10 a week plus £15 monthly mobile top up for her free texts.

Told her if she goes to Uni, she can have a room to come back to in the holidays, if not she can pack her bags and make her way in the world. Sorry but your an adult when you reach 18, time to cut the apron strings and let them go. Harsh but they have to learn sometime, don't get me wrong I'm not a **** and wouldn't see any of them on the streets but I think they need to make thier own path in life and it's the only way to learn.

Having a job teaches kids a sense of responsibility as well – maybe she would not be throwing tantrums at 18 if she had been doing a paper round from the age of 13?

Come on do you really think this statement is valid or makes any sense?

No one really knows how to bring up kids, they respond in the strangest ways to your inputs, and watching 999Nanny or whatever its called is not a way to learn how they will react either.

I do think it is valid. Having an 18 year old screaming for free money when she is perfectly capable of earning herself is pretty sad. The sooner kids learn lessons about the value of money and the dignity of working rather than sponging the better.

From some of the responses so far we could probably have a STW special edition of Young, Dumb and Living Off Mum.

13 year old currently gets £10 a week plus £15 monthly mobile top up for her free texts

£55 a month at 13? Blimey.

What do they buy out of that? Do they pay for their own lunches at school and their own clothes too?

Molgrips is spot on that they kids are people and will all react differently.

We were skint growing up, I started working at 12 and have never been out of work since other than a two week period.
It hasn't taught me to be good with money in the slightest. If I want something I get it. simples.
Fair enough I work hard for it but I'm a spolit git, albeit a hard working one

**** me, when I was 17 I was serving in Bosnia.

That's something for her to consider. That elsewhere in the World, people her own age and younger are involved in wars. While she frets about the latest George Michael single (or whatever it is teenage girls fret over these days I don't know).

I had about £5 a week from 15-18, saturday job got me another £20 or so per week.

In high school there was a free bus

In 6th form my parents bought me a cheep 50cc 2 stroke scooter in the first year (~£600) and paid my 125cc honda's insuance (sold the 50cc for £500 and bought the honda for £1100 toped up with my own money) in the 2nd year (~£350) and a tank of petrol once a week (£10).

Basicly, whatever I've paid for through saving up for something, they've usualy matched (inlcuding buying my first car at 23!).

It's all well and good saying 'get a saturday job', but at 16/17 you're earnings are limited to about £25 a day as min wage doesn't apply. That buys what? A t-shirt from primark, a pint in the pub and a cinema ticket, hardly the life of Riley!

There's a very good article in today's Independent about this very subject.

Here it is

It's all well and good saying 'get a saturday job', but at 16/17 you're earnings are limited to about £25 a day as min wage doesn't apply. That buys what? A t-shirt from primark, a pint in the pub and a cinema ticket, hardly the life of Riley!

They shouldn't have time for the cinema and pub.

At 17, while at 6th form, I worked Monday and Tuesday evenings (5-9 each), saw the girlfriend on a Wednesday evening, went to ventures on a Thursday evening and worked on a Friday night evening (6-10).

I started on £1.95 an hour in Morrisons at 16 in 1993, so my ten hour week got me just over £80 a month.

Told her if she goes to Uni, she can have a room to come back to in the holidays, if not she can pack her bags and make her way in the world. Sorry but your an adult when you reach 18, time to cut the apron strings and let them go. Harsh but they have to learn sometime, don't get me wrong I'm not a **** and wouldn't see any of them on the streets but I think they need to make thier own path in life and it's the only way to learn.

Hmm, we haven't got you wrong – you are a ****

Kids need parents, even as adults; and parents will need their kids, at some point…

Do they pay for their own lunches at school and their own clothes too?

Own clothes yes unless it's uniform or essentials and if she wants takeaway she pays for that too.

Pah, all these hard luck stories are pathetic compared to mine.

Aged 13 to 15 i worked a milk round on £20per week and managed to save up £1500 in my savings acount.

Aged 15.5 my parents moved to the other end of the country and agreed to leave me behind (I didnt want to go). They agreed to let me stay behind in the house they were struggling to sell (Cos they wanted too much for it)

I was working a saturday job for £25 per week and doing my gcse's then alevels.

I had to pay the council taxt out of my £25 per week as my contribution towards 'board' which funnily enough maounted to my £25 per week. I then had to 'find' some money to pay for my food. Funnily enough when the £1000 savings i had ran out i ended up running up enough council tax debts to land my dad a CCJ (I kept it quiet). He paid it and then frog marched me to the bank at 17/18 to get a £1000 loan out to pay him back. It took me 2 years to pay off that loan. The next day i called my mam & dad to tell them i had moved out and enjoy their money.

I wont even discuss money with my parents these days.

A child needs to respect and understand money but they also shouldnt be slaves to earning it either. At nearly 18 your daughter shouldnt be so relient on daddy imo

I started on £1.95 an hour in Morrisons at 16 in 1993

I may well have worked with you! I must have started a little earlier as I remember it being £1.87.

I also worked in Perrys glass collecting

Being 16 in sixth form earn £50 quid in the weekends then my allowance is £150 a month but because we live in a village

£74 a month goes on travel
£76 goes on food

then I have to buy my own clothes

I may well have worked with you! I must have started a little earlier as I remember it being £1.87.

Could have done 🙂

North Road Morrisons, from October '93 to when I left for uni in '96. Essentially, I faced up non-foods for 12 hours a bloody week, for Adrian.

When I was 18 and in the sixth form (7yrs ago) I didn't get an allowance. Sure my parents would help me out but TBH I rarely needed help. I worked in retail 1 night a week and Saturday/Sunday. I was able to go out twice a week and run a car (didn't need to pay board)

I was taught from a young age the meaning of money and my first proper MTB was when I was 15 and saved up money from my 3 paper rounds (including Xmas tips) to buy a Sunn xircuit which I had built with full XTR. My parents couldn't believe that I could save up that kind of money so paid half towards it as they didnt want me spending all the money I saved.

I was never spoilt as a child £30 max for birthdays and £100max for Xmas. I had mates who would get over £1k spent on them at Xmas whilst their parents struggled to pay the bills. I had my own house, 2 nice cars, 2 nice motorbikes & 2 nice mountain bikes by the time I was 22 (all the important things 😆 ). I put it down to being taught that you don't get what you don't work for from a young age.

find out the going rate for:

3 litres of white cider..
half ounce of golden virginia..
entry to a club..
two grammes of miaaow miaaow
halfs on a 'teenth of skunk..
1 morning after pill and taxi home and bob's yer uncle..

They shouldn't have time for the cinema and pub.

At 17, while at 6th form, I worked Monday and Tuesday evenings (5-9 each), saw the girlfriend on a Wednesday evening, went to ventures on a Thursday evening and worked on a Friday night evening (6-10).

So you think everyone should have to do that?

Some frigging twisted logic on here.

I think they need to make thier own path in life and it's the only way to learn.

It bloody well isn't the only way.

My Grandma said to my Mum that once she got married she was on her own completely. That seriously traumatised my Mum and gave her a fair few complexes. She made (and still makes) triple sure that me and my Sister are ok. We've had plenty of help from them and we've paid it all back and are now prosperous. For that, I thank her. Feel the love 🙂

So you think everyone should have to do that?

Some frigging twisted logic on here.

Logic? It's STW!

I know quite a lot of kids that age. I'd say the ones with interests and jobs are the best adjusted and best placed when applying to university and the like.

That's only based on a sample of 8000 or so, however, so not scientific.

miketually – Member
Wow, some people on here are giving their kids shit loads of cash. This might explain why all my students can afford better phones than me.

Why wouldn't parents who can afford it feel like giving their kids some of their money? It's not like we can take it with us.

I'd say the ones with interests and jobs are the best adjusted

My jobs just made me utterly depressed and miserable. I don't think that'd have helped me get into uni 🙂

Interests, yes. Jobs.. well I dunno. To me, a job is something you have to do to live. If someone else is paying you subsistence then why would you? All those "life lessons" will come soon enough.

Here's how I'd judge this one.

throwing tantrums

The instant she did this I'd just stop all money. Wait till she calms down and then start discussions. As soon as any parent bends over to a trantrum they've lost the argument and might as well hand over their credit card.

I didnt get anything at all when i was that age ….ie… 3 months ago
well not cash only a scott spark and some cheap and tacky expose lights and some assos shorts and ….think your self lucky and give her 40 a month 😛
Bruce

Like toys19 I spent my youth working like a dog – no pocket money so I had two paper rounds and if I wanted to save up holiday money my mum would give me a list of jobs (much like Mrs Tricky's kid on page one).

These jobs were usually pretty awful; valetting the cars, degreasing the oven, cleaning the inside of all the windows in our many-windowed house, etc… And mum was brutal in her judgement of my work – nothing but perfection would suffice.

When I went to uni, there was no financial help at all, despite the fact that my folks were reasonably well off – my sister got the same 'stand on your own two feet' treatment, which made me feel a little better!

The result of all this value-instilling torture is that I'm not great with money – I spend it as I get it as though there might never be any more money in the world.

So if I ever get round to having kids, I'm going to be fair with them and give them a decent amount of spending power.