High Garden Wall Shenanigans – boundary lawyers to the forum

The wall at the rear of our house is fifteen feet tall and is also the wall of the garden of the house behind us. Our houses are on a hill so the house behind uses 3 feet of the wall. We have a delightful little sun terrace below this wall where we sit and get shat on by seagulls.

The lovely lady who resides behind us regularly puts things on the wall and leaves them there. A large proportion of these things fall into our garden. For example, her dogs bed, son’s tennis racket, all of her fag butts and this weekend a terracotta plant pot containing a palm tree.

The plant pot was the last straw. It smashed on our delightful garden table but more importantly would probably have killed any one of us were we sat below.

I think I can guess the answer, but is there anything we can do? To be honest I don’t mind the little presents from above, it is the big ones I’m worried about. To make matters worse we are in a conservation area so cannot tinker about too much. I just want some sort of legal thingamyjig that will make her stop.

Have you tried a polite request?

Have you tried a polite request?

Pah! Saying nothing and letting the rage quietly build up before charging round shouting some half assed legal crap and then threatening to sue her should do the trick…

You need to get all Golda Meir on her arse, every time she chucks something over the wall, you chuck back 10 of the same !! (that’s 10 plant pots not 10 dead Palestinians, just to be clear. If she starts throwing corpses call the cops)

(that’s 10 plant pots not 10 dead Palestinians, just to be clear. If she starts throwing corpses call the cops)

I think you might find that they’ll object.

put a trampoline in your delightful little sun terrace

i would assume a simple explanation pointing out the dangers and how next time it could be a childs face would suffice surely. I am making the assumption that they are more reasonable than an average STW poster.

I just want some sort of legal thingamyjig that will make her stop.

Is this some sort of windup ?

Please tell me that you’ve asked her on countless occasions to stop putting things on the wall as they keep falling on your side, but that despite that, she refuses to comply with your reasonable requests.

get medieval on her ass

I could knock you up a weld mesh parsol!

never mind the stuff dropping off – get tunnelling under there and build yourself a nervecentre for world domination

You could send her a letter saying due to olympic security consdiderations, you need to install a thermo nuclear device warning system on the top of the wall.

You could send her a letter saying due to olympic security consdiderations, you need to install a thermo nuclear device warning system on the top of the wall.

It’ll probably fall off and break the OP’s garden furniture. 😥

scaredypants has had the best idea so far!

Put a massive bandage on your head, then go round to return her plant pot

Have you tried a polite request?

Pah! Saying nothing and letting the rage quietly build up before charging round shouting some half assed legal crap and then threatening to sue her should do the trick…

Yes, we have and the neighbours as well. She doesn’t think it’s a problem but appreciated her dog bed being returned

The wall at the rear of our house is fifteen feet tall and is also the wall of the garden of the house behind us. Our houses are on a hill so the house behind uses 3 feet of the wall. We have a delightful little sun terrace below this wall where we sit and get shat on by seagulls.

Bit obvious but knock 3 foot of the wall.

Where do you see the sun to have a terrace for it to be on.

..also, what if my bike was underneath? Does that help with the sympathy thing?

Yes, we have and the neighbours as well.

How did you manage you leave that out from your rather detailed briefing of the situation ?

I would continue trying to resolve the dispute along those lines, before hiring lawyers and taking legal action.

How did you manage you leave that out from your rather detailed briefing of the situation ?

Because this is the thing I know I can do. I wondered whether there was anything else that I didn’t know. the bit above hasn’t and will not work. But thanks, I can see now that I just need to wear her down by constantly being reasonable. In the meantime, what full face helmets for sunbathing?

Why not rig up a bit of netting about 10ft above your terrace to catch things falling down, about 2 – 3 ft out should be enough, like they put on cliff faces etc,
When said neighbour asks for stuff back , just point and explain you can’t get it, reckon they’ll soon get more careful about dropping stuff

Allright then, get a big pole with a hook on in, and everytime she puts something on the wall, pull it off and hide it. Let her see you doing this on occasion but never admit it. Make the hook red and white striped.

But thanks, I can see now that I just need to wear her down by constantly being reasonable. In the meantime, what full face helmets for sunbathing?

Well when you want to do some sunbathing in your delightful little sun terrace, why don’t you check if there is anything on the wall, and if there is, just push it over into her garden ?

Or is that too easy ?

In the meantime, what full face helmets for sunbathing?

Met Parachute, you can remove the chinguard when there is no immediate danger.

why don’t you check if there is anything on the wall, and if there is, just push it over into her garden ?

After three sharp blasts on an air horn.
(while wearing the uniform of an army nurse)

Met Parachute

No!!!!!

A friend of a friend’s cousin was sunbathing, naked apart from a Met Parachute. A stone goblin toppled off the wall next to her. It landed on the chinguard which shattered into a number of shards, one of which tore her heart clean out of her ample busom.

ample busom

Ample you say?

Ample you say?

.
So I’m told.
Quite positively heaving until she rapidly exsanguinated.

(while wearing the uniform of an army nurse)

hypothetically, where might a chap, err, purchase one of these uniforms (say, in latex)
I’m not specifically worried about buzim protection but all the better if it comes with any form of padding

Keep everything that falls into your garden and refuse to give her it all back – she’ll soon learn to stop leaving shit there.

Thanks for the entertainment.

So, to summarise my options are:-

-dig tunnel, make thunderbirds type control room
-install trampoline (best response of the lot)
-change username to girly type name
-install netting and accept impact upon delightful sun terrace
-climb up a fifteen foot slate wall and push offending items over before sunbathing (on delightful sun terrace)
-purchase Met Parachute, but check for stone goblins prior to sunbathing

It was actually a serious question, was hoping I could quote the “High walls above delightful sun terrace act of 1969” act on her ass.

You need to install an Anti-Terracotta-Pot-missile system in your little sun trap. Note you might have to shift the table out of the way.

Quite positively heaving until she rapidly exsanguinated.

I guess it’s not worth asking for pictures, is it? And please don’t judge me solely on this request, a man needs a hobby.

just google “large-breatsed woman with heart torn out”
It’s more common than oyu’d ever think, though not seen a full-face hat yet

edit: god, it’s hard to type with the wrong hand

Yeah, I’ve googled most of them, I was just hoping for something new for the collection. Life goes on, for some of us at least. 😕

climb up a fifteen foot slate wall and push offending items over before sunbathing (on delightful sun terrace)

Get a ten foot stick to push the offending items off the wall adjacent to your delightful sun terrace – I’m assuming your height and the length of your arms will compensate for the five foot shortfall ?

Any more questions I can help you with ?

Excuse me, but can you keep the breasts out of this until I’ve been properly flamed. I’ve still rare at the moment.

ernie, learn trig. needs to be longer than 10 feet

needs to be longer than 10 feet

Try a 12 foot one then.

Or stand on a chair.

Any more ?

Ernie, WTF ?

We’ve already established that there’ll be a tramoline. No need for a stick at all 🙄