I’m diagonally opposite down by the Airport 🙁
If you lay everything out like an exploded diagram we may spot something wrong.
You have the crown race which is fixed firmly to the steerer against the crown
Then a lower bearing in the bottom cup which the crown race sits into
Then the frame etc
Then up top there is the upper bearing
Then normally a split ring that locates the steerer in the top bearing
Then a top cover
Then spacers and stem
There should be a 2-3mm gap to the top of the steerer below the top of the stem.
Then the top cap.
You don’t need to tighten the top cap much, it’s just a bearing preload. The stem bolts hold it all together.