Long story hopefully cut short.

I have had a very stressfull 7 or 8 months due to a good freind falling and breaking his neck and my moving in with him to help out.
He finally got his operation 6 weeks ago and things were looking up and I was happy and healthy.

One friday four weeks ago I developed a twitch in my right eye which got worse and spread to both eyes. Three days later i woke with a headache which I saw a doctor about after 3days and was told to come back if it had not gone within a couple more days.
So after 5 days of headache I went back as I still had the headache and by this time had developed chest pains constant anxiety due to have having a similar headache the day I had my stroke when I was 14 and was becoming very concerned as I was also was diagnosed with a heart murmur at 14.
I was prescribed Valium and told to come back in two weeks if I still had my headache.

The long and short of it is a month later I still have a headache/chest pains and am suffering from constant anxiety and now depression.
I have been been given an appointment for an echocardiogram that is not for six weeks and an appointment to see a neurologist that is not for 8 weeks.
But my imidiate concern is the constant anxiety and low mood, it is the constant feeling of being on edge that is really getting me down. My doctor offered to prescribe anti depressants for this but I refused as in the small print it said not to be given to people with a history of psychosis or paranoid delusions as can trigger an episode. ( suffered drug induced psychosis many years ago) So he instead has referred me to a psychiatric center.

That was over a week ago and when I rang them to see when I would be seen I was told after my case is discussed by the team and then they would call me and this could be a couple of weeks.

5 weeks ago I was happy and healthy now I feel constantly awful and unable to cope if this goes on much longer.
I have had situational anxiety before but this is unrelenting and constant.

Caring for someone is incredibly stressful, it’s for professionals only….well intentioned amateurs have no idea just how easily it can ruin relationships, friendships etc….this is going to sound harsh but for your health you need to move out and look after yourself and leave looking after your mate for someone else to do.

Sounds like you are indeed stressed, anxious and depressed. Your anxieties sound perfectly reasonable given the history you have. It’s probably worsened by the idea that you cant get negative thoughts out of your head and they are spiralling out of control. You probably also feel that there is sweet f*** all you can do about it. My recommendation for you is to write down what you’re feeling at length then go through what you’ve written and see if you can identify negative thought patterns and then see if you can find an alternative positive or constructive pattern then see if you can use that one instead. It’s a method that has worked for me really well in the past. Good luck.

I assume that your mate has some sort of residual effect from breaking his neck?

If you’re waiting for NHS referral for mental health you’ll be waiting a long time.
Do yourself a favour and go private as soon as you can.
Borrow the money if you don’t have it.
I speak from experience.

I assume that your mate has some sort of residual effect from breaking his neck?

He had his fixation 6 weeks ago after a 6month wait. This despite the doctor telling us it had to be done in the first three months to work.
He had his six week post op check last week and was told they could not tell if it has healed from the xray but said to move from a miami j hard collar to a soft collar and come back in six weeks.

He is 68 and suffers with quite a few conditions but I feel his mobility is now good enough to look after himself.

My aunty has offered to pay to for me to see a psychiatrist privately which I may take up if I do not get seen soon.
5 years ago after being well for 6 or 7 years I had a bad day and felt paranoid.
So rang the center and told them and they said could I come in and see a psychiatrist the next day, and I did.
But now all has changed apparently.
Whereas before I felt unwell, told them, they said come in and I spoke to a psychiatrist about myself.
Now before they can see me the team have to have a meeting about me, without me, before they can see me, in a few weeks maybe.

It smacks of how many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb.

If you’re waiting for NHS referral for mental health you’ll be waiting a long time.
Do yourself a favour and go private as soon as you can.
Borrow the money if you don’t have it.
I speak from experience.

How did you find/choose your private psychiatrist?

@chip, sorry to hear this. It sounds like you are not underestimating it which is the right decision. When caring for others its very easy to forget about yourself. Do you discuss this with friends and family, it really helps to share these things. Also get some help as per the above advice. The most dangerous thing you can do is just “hope it goes away”.

By the way what you have done for your friend is fantastic, you should feel very proud as very many people would not have done the same. I imagine you think it was just normal to do so but it’s not, its very positive and generous giving of yourself like you have done.

He had his six week post op check last week and was told they could not tell if it has healed from the xray but said to move from a miami j hard collar to a soft collar and come back in six weeks.

He is 68 and suffers with quite a few conditions but I feel his mobility is now good enough to look after himself.

There is some excellent news in amongst that lot. They wouldnt be moving him to a soft collar without good reason and the fact that his mobility allows him to look after himself is great news.

I’ve had similar problems, although I think mine started due to another undiagnosed medical issue

I tried the NHS and they were spectacularly disappointing in offering any real help.

I’m not saying it’s always the same, just in my case they were no use at all. Beta blockers and on my way, the tablets made me worse if anything.

I’ve had up and downs with it all over the years. I eventually had the other medical problem diagnosed (Lyme), but again through a private clinic. I was on treatment with them for around 18 months, and started improving, but I simply can’t afford £600-700 every few months.

With regards to the anxiety, what helped me was a guy that dealt with various relaxation, hypnotherapy, CBT type therapies. It took a long time, and I think I’m getting worse again, but I got lazy with the techniques. I am starting some of them again, and hope they will get me out of the cycle.

Best of luck with it all

How did you find/choose your private psychiatrist?

I had a few bad ones. I finally was told about one by a friends partner who is amazing.
I have two that help me.
One in North Wales and one in Vienna.The one in Vienna uses a technique called Brain Spotting.I can’t get it in the UK but it helps me a great deal to put problems I had in my life (I could write several books).
Without them I would be nowhere near the stage I am at now.
If you try something and it doesn’t work try something else. I had CBT. It did nothing from but is good for others.

I spoke to someone at the center again today and was told August before I could see a member of the health team.
When I said this is ridicules I could be a lot worse by then.
I was told they have to many patients.
I said no you have not enough doctors, too which she disagreed and again said too many patients.

Now the NHS has saved my sanity in the past for which I will be eternally gratefull.
But this turn of events has made me worry about my future, not just my imidiate future but if I was to become seriously unwell in years to come.

I asked what should I do if I feel I can not wait that long, and I was told to present myself at A&E.
After much protest I was given an appointment in June, but an assessment by a health worker not a psychiatrists.
When did NHS mental health services become spread so thinly.
As preaviously said before 5 or so years ago I rang them after feeling unwell for one day and was told to come in the next.

One of the things that bugged me was she said the was no record of my speaking to them a week ago despite who ever I spoke to at the time saying they would.
And then later she said we only received your referral two days ago to which I replied that was not true as I was told the week before they only received it two days before then.

So are they that stretched they feel they have to lie to people.

Rant over.

I was told they have to many patients.
I said no you have not enough doctors, too which she disagreed and again said too many patients.

She was correct. Take away the causes of mental ill health and you dont need the doctors.

She was correct. Take away the causes of mental ill health and you dont need the doctors.

I don’t understand,

There was recent talk in the media of mental health services referral times being poor and I did not believe it as I had previously found it brilliant, obtaining easy access to good (sympathetic) doctors.
I think the woman I spoke to today’s nick name at work is “stone cold” 😀

The care you will finally get through the NHS will probably be fine. This will be in a very long time. I’m not condoning it but I do know a guy who went into A&E after intentionally cutting himself (not me) saying he was about to commit suicide and changed his mind. He only did this to jump the waiting list.
Hence my first post on this thread about going private if you want to get seen sooner.

I don’t understand,
There was recent talk in the media of mental health services referral times being poor and I did not believe it as I had previously found it brilliant, obtaining easy access to good (sympathetic) doctors.
I think the woman I spoke to today’s nick name at work is “stone cold”

Mental health service referral times are poor because too many people are ill. Many mental health issues are avoidable if stressors are removed. Unfortunately we live in a time of ridiculous pressure and too many people are getting to a point where they are ill. Remove the causes and you dont need extra doctors.

Sorry for missing wan and iolos recent replies, and thanks.

I have been on citalopram for 5 days now after reassurance by a gp this will not pose a risk of triggering a psychotic episode. since then my anxiety has gone through the roof to the point of not wanting to get out of bed in the morning.
I constantly feel scared for no reason at all and am scared i will feel like this for ever more.
The same GP has assured me that this is a side effect of the citalopram and sometimes makes things worse before getting better so has prescribe diazapam for a few days.

7weeks ago I felt fine but now the wheels have fallen off.
And I tell myself it’s just a feeling and need to carry on regardless.

Many mental health issues are avoidable if stressors are removed.

And “come back in eight weeks” is a great way of allowing those cases to resolve themselves.

I constantly feel scared for no reason at all and am scared i will feel like this for ever more.

I know it doesn’t feel like it, but this too will pass. Seven weeks ago you were fine, remember that.

You said yourself that a good deal of the problem is situational. Is there anything you can do to change your work / home life and improve your lot? Can you take a holiday?

The thing with being a carer is it’s an admirable calling but if you fall over yourself then you’re no use to anyone. Where’s your support network? Got a mate you can go on a ride with?

My support network was my mother, brother,and sister.
But my mother is old and dont want to burden her (and despite her having worked in mental health is not too sympathetic and says I should stop thinking about it.)my brother I fell out with over money, and my sister has her own problems.

The friend who I have been looking after has now stepped up from being waited on to doing the waiting.
So strangely providing I get well soon this could be good for both of us in as much as him getting his independence back.