What's it got to do with you? What is your involvement in the relationship? Has she come to you for help? Or are you trying to take over and solve, what you percieve, are her problems without her asking? If so that's just creepy.

Yes she has come to me for help but I do agree with your statement as a whole. I think its easy to slip into the over-mithering out of concern and need to be (over) supportive. It could end up being counter-productive and suffocating if a few people are doing this.

Does she have female friends ? Step aside and let them get on with the rituals.

Yep, following on from the above. Let this happen.

As for the ex not having a backbone, staying in the relationship would have been the spineless thing to do.

Totally and utterly agree. However why the need to give her 'Im moving in with someone else and every minute bit of detail'? Theres cruel and theres callous. If he had any semblance of caring left he would have tempered what he told her. It seems to me as though he'd fallen for someone new, head over heels and damned to anyone else. Hence he didn't give a second thought to someone elses emotions.

Shes a close friend by the way. Hence me discussing this to get the shock out of me as well. One of those friends you hold up as an example of how your better friends live and how one should strive to be more like.

The thing with ending what was a commited relationship is that you very, very rarely can do it without causing pain. It's easy to disect his actions after the fact. He may well have thought and cared enough for her that she deserved total honesty. I bet if he had said 'I'm off, don't love you anymore, welcome to dumpsville – population you' and walked out, then you friend would be even more upset and confused as to where she stands.

Right now they are upset, hurt and probably thinking 'what did I do wrong?. Which is all natural. The important thing is that they move forward – not instantly – with their new life.

If she has come to you for help then do what she asks you to do but don't become a substitiute.

Women can certainly be as bad.

Go a friend who's mum ran off with his best mate!!! Now that was a shocker.

It's a cliché, but time is a great healer.

That and chick flicks and two litres of Haagen Das.

She was ready for children this year

-Run away from the bomb

woman 12yrs older who has two children and has just kicked her husband out of the marital home

– hide in the crater.

Stormwind – Member
Hora.

Why not get her out biking?

My mate had a girl who he was head over heels for, she left and he was gutted. So I bought him a decent bike of ebay and he threw himself at it just to forget.

After 6 months he's a very good rider and agrees with what I've been telling him all along.

Get a ride that likes it the way you do, when you do and can be sorted out easily when it gets stroppy

Give her something to take her mind off it, we all know why we love to ride?

Once we're out there, we're free!

oh this just depresses me. there's more to life than riding bikes.

anyways hora, don't do anything different to how you've been with her in the past, as that's how she knows you and that's how you've always interacted.

Well, in terms of callous detail women are funny like that. For some reason you always went to know the detail. And it's a lot better if the other woman is fatter/uglier/of lower social standing, can't even ride a bike etc. It's petty and no doubt a character flaw but that's how it is. If he hadn't told her all that she would have been torturing herself with wanting to know and complaining about that !! It's how we deal with stuff.

And I agree it takes more guts to end something knowing it will hurt the other person than hang in there spinelessly lying to them. The "ripping off a plaster" approach.

oh this just depresses me. there's more to life than riding bikes

Remember someone posted a autism/test on STW not so long ago? Alot of people on here posted highly or at the least borderline. It really didn't suprise me 😆