So before I go to the expense of a solicitor, I wanted to check out the knowledge of Singletrack!

So a year after a very messy divorce, my ex wife still lives in our matrimonial home. My name is still on the mortgage, but I don’t contribute to it.

She still won’t let me in the house to collect my possessions and has now advised me that she now wants to move her boyfriend in (the guy she was having the affair with).

I’m not particularly happy about this, so wondered if there is anything I can do to stop it as I’m still on the mortgage?

I know this sounds petty, but after the torment she has put me through

Yes you have the right of entry I would have thought if you are still part owner. You also can enforce a sale probably. I doubt you can refuse her moving the boyfriend in.

Like all internet advice this is worth what you paid for it 🙂

you have a legal right to enter the property if your name is on the mortgage deeds, she cannot legally stop you without some form of injunction and if the locks have been changed you can legally break in with a police officer present. this has just happened to a colleague who was advised by a solicitor that he could not prevent his estranged wife from entering the property as her name was also on the deeds. i believe you can also sell the property from underneath her too if the mortgage is in your name only.

Not a lawyer but I’d have thought if you are still on the mortgage for the property can you not request it be sold so you can pay off your half and live debt free. Play it that you were content to leave it like that while she was sole occupant but you don’t want to be saddled with the mortgage for some other couple. First option i guess would go to them to stump up what you are owed (you don’t say if it is sole or joint names) but if they can’t then you can ask for it to be sold which would mess them up quite a bit I’d have thought.

(assuming no kids involved as you didn’t mention any)

I’m no legal boffin but I’d say there’s nothing you can do about her moving anyone in as she’s paying the bills but I could also be totally wrong. But as for her not letting you have your stuff – and as long as it is all yours as in paid for and not something you’ve bought for between you – then she’s wrong not letting you get it. I would definitely seek the help of a solicitor especially if you have anything valuable in the house and then you can sort your other issue out too.

Thanks for the advice so far.

The mortgage is in joints names (hers first)

With regards to right of entry, I tried this last year (3 days after I’d moved out). An argument started and I left, long story short she called the police 10 mins after I left and claimed I assaulted her, no witnesses her word against mine.

I was brought in and charged with common assault, CPS took the case on too. It went to court and was thrown out due to all the holes in her statement and no case to answer.

I asked the police if I can get my stuff and they warned me to be careful because it can now be classed as breech of the peace!

Just to make sure no one thinks I beat woman, I did not lay a finger on her or go anywhere near her!

A year after a divorce, I’d question why you care what she does.

Point the first. Get your stuff back. She won’t let you? How exactly is she stopping you? Do it when she’s out, kick the front doors in(*) if you have to. What’s she going to do, far as I’m aware you can’t be charged for breaking into your own house.

Point the second. Get your name off the mortgage sharpish; if she defaults, which by the sounds of things is something she might do for fun, you’re the one that’s going to get dry bummed by the mortgage company.

ObDisclaimer, I am not a lawyer, seek professional advice.

(* – ah, irony)

pay for some advise . i assume that it’s a joint tenancy so held on trust for sale so you can insist on a sale . I’m assuming that you did not get legal advice or a proper financial agreement at the time of divorce hence this mess . lesson one lawyers are worth it. a problem solved at the right time is cheaper than a problem deferred . All matrimonial splits have the potential to end in acrimony.

There are too many variables to give definitive advise at this stage . My gut reaction is get the local police to come with you to prevent a breach of the peace collect your own personal property then move to her and possibly her new chap buying you out at a fair valuation or you force a sale and divide the proceeds. the existence of children significantly changes the scenario.

yes you can enter the property as it is still legally yours – in fact you can live there if you wish – she needs an injunction to stop this.it is very common for women to claim this IME sadly I have to record every conversation with my ex for this reason.
Basically though you want your stuff back and to get off the mortgage. I suspect she will trash all your stuff and it will be impossible to prove she did it
there is penalty for being on a mortgage as it makes it harder to get another go tot mediation to get your name off the mortgage bought out whatever.
I suspect you need to accept your property no longer exists

Hi
I would go to the mortgage company and ask where you stand on having your name taken off the mortgage if you can’t sell the property and your ex doesn’t want to sell. They may be able to help.
Tell them that your ex’s partner is also moving into the property.
Citizens advice bureau is always helpful and could send you in the right direction, so you don’t get yourself into any more bother.
I would have thought when you were going through divorce if your solicitor was any good he would have told you how to get your things really but then again I think they do have a tendancy to steer you in a wrong direction which leads to alot of trouble. Hope things improve. What you need to do is get on with your life and enjoy it and try not to dwell on the past. Life is too short. 😀

Cheers all,

The house is on the market and has been on since before I moved out. She’s broken the mortgage 4 times and defaulted on it once, so my credit rating is through the floor.

I’ve checked about having my name removed from the mortgage and I’d walk away with nothing. The bank has said that she needs 12 months solid payments to show affordability, that’s not going to happen.

My financial statement went in last year with the solicitor but she never replied, so still waiting

With regards to why I’m bothered, I worked hard to buy that house, my kids are there and confused at what is going on too.

and now we have a fuller picture. firstly if you try to gain entry without her permission you will almost certainly be in breach of the peace and likely to get your collar felt. when you both lived in the property and both paid equal shares on the mortgage ( whether you did or not is mute but as you were sharing the home that is how it will be viewed) now though you are not paying your share mate.. she can tell all and sundry you ve not kept up your end of the bargain and your banged to rights.. what that ll mean in real terms is come sharing the equity she will have a proportionatly bigger share than you. if she defaults you default simple your as much liable for it as she is.
finally KIDS if there yours your going to have to support them till 18 most finacial settlements will include a bigger share if not all the equity on the property to the main carer.. er x indoors i assume so thats even less for you..

what you need is a chat with her, say no probs fella moving in ( hes going to any way) on condition we sort out this finacial settlement you get XYZ and i’ll get diddly squat ( there your kids you gotta cover for them)

unpalatable uncomfortable undesirable just do it get over her and see your kids when you can. best of luck

A year after a divorce, I’d question why you care what she does.

I’d suggest you’ve never been in a long term relationship if you really think this, Cougar
Hope things work out MaxRocks, sure they will in time.

I’d suggest you’ve never been in a long term relationship if you really think this, Cougar

I may or may not been in a few, it depends on your definition of ‘long term’.

Regardless, point is, when you’re in a relationship you care about your partner. After a split, you have to get out, distance yourself and move on. Anything else is unhealthy. Accepting that “it’s no longer my problem” is very difficult, but essential.

A year after I broke up with my last ex, she got married to someone else. If this featured on my give-a-toss-ometer at all, then failing is mine.

That said, I’ve never been married. So, hey, what do I know.

Make sure that she is paying the morgage as my auntie devorced her ex husband, he stayed in the house by himself and said he’d pay the house, 2 years later she finds out he’d not payed for the house since she’d left, leaving her to pay thousands, lazy twunt had been sacked and just lay on his hole running up debt in her name.

I wouldn’t advise kicking the door in, whilst you might still have a right to the property you CAN be arrested for criminal damage even against your own property. All the more likely if she has contacted the police previously.

How did you buy the house? As joint tenants or tenants in common?

I agree you have to move on Cougar but one year after the end of a long term relationship you’re still going to care what the other person does. Perhaps care is the wrong word but it’s going to bother you, especially when moving on is that much harder because you have to maintain contact because of children and financial commitments.
I’ve never been married either – engaged is as far as I’ve got and that’s gone tits up – so perhaps I know nothing either.
Anyway, didn’t mean to be offensive so apologies if I came over as a bit of an @rse 🙂

If the house is in your name would it be possible to have her evicted?
OK,i understand it will be a 50/50 split but until the divorce is finalised then you should be able to do this.
I know of one case where the spouse is being forced out so the house can be sold and the assets split.
I suppose you could refuse to change the mortgage to her name,force a sale and leave her to find somewhere herself along with a houses worth of possesions
Be a bit of a pain in the ares having to find a new house,moving expenses etc 😈

Horrible situation, and no mistake. Looking at it totally coldly though:

If her bloke is there it might mean a more solid financial future for your kids. And you’re best to agree with it because it’s going to happen anyway. Try, if you can, to see the house as partly yours, partly hers and mostly the kids.

I know when my folks split my Dad relinquished his share of the house and my mum gave up any interest in his future inheritences. I always respected my Dad for that because it meant that despite my mum being a poor earner we could stay put and it minimised the disruption to us. He started again from scratch really and still did ok for himself.

They’ll always be your kids, but this other bloke might bring some positives into their lives. I’m halfway towards Cougars point of view – you need to distance yourself a bit from the emotional side of your relationship with the ex and see it in terms of a practical arrangement to do what’s best for your kids. Clearly it’s not unhealthy to stay in contact – I have a great friendship with one ex. Depends on circumstances and your mindset though I guess.

If the house is in your name would it be possible to have her evicted?

Along with his kids? Nice 🙄

Maxrocks, you know that solicitor you paid for when you got divorced? You need to go back and see them.

Some of the laymens advice on here is laughable and will get you in trouble. If you can’t resolve things amicably with your ex, then it will have to go through the courts, which can be complicated and potentially expensive.
Lots of advice out there, but i suspect that as part of your divorce there will have been an agreement about the property which will have detailed your rights. Have you read this? I know they can be complicated but this should cover your rights.

Thanks for the advice, some I will take with a pinch of salt though 🙂

With regards to the house it is joint tenancy, she has broken promise to pays 3 or 4 times since I moved out and defaulted on the mortgage once. I’ve already told her I don’t want any money out of it, I just need my stuff (including my bikes!). So I’m starting from scratch, it is amazing how friends pull together and help you out, I think I’ve kitted my new rental out for about £300!

Emotionally, I am over her (still love her, even after everything) but this is probably due to her being the mother of my kids. The BF on the other hand is a total arse! I’m in contact with his wife (yes both were married, both have kids) and he finds it acceptable to only pay £5 a month for his two based on the CSA calculator (which he hasn’t paid).

The joys of being self employeed and blaging tax returns! So as a role model for my kids, it’s a tough one to swallow.

I’ve already told her I don’t want any money out of it

I did this too. It’s incredibly stupid. Please think again. It’s incredibly stupid. Please think again. It’s incredibly stupid. Please think again. In effect you’re giving what is rightfully yours to her BF. One of the few regrets I have in life.

Same happened here. I signed the house over to her to keep the home for my boy that he grew up in. It hurt like hell to do it, and i lost everything but IMO was worth it just for him. Big pill to swallow but get out of it now if you can.