This time last year, I was a complete mess. Eventually, I changed job and things started to look up. Then, in June, got hit sideways by another (this time diagnosed) bout of depression and started up on Citalopram.

I didn’t like the pills (even at a low dose) – they made me ravenous for carbs and made me feel reckless. This didn’t seem like a good mix with a brand new daughter. So, I ditched them, and tried to rely on riding my bike.

Now, the days feel almost permanently dark (in every way), I’m shattered all the time, and sliding back into a dark hole.

Got a b*ll*cking at work this morning – evidently my work commitment (or lack of it) has become noticeable, so I need to sort myself out. Question is, given that it’s winter and I have family demands, cycling in the daylight is near impossible, my diet continues to be poor and I’m still shattered, is it time to get back on the pills?

Could try different ones?…and/or counselling?

Am in a simliar boat btw.

It’s a tough one. It sounds like you’ve had a poor experience of anti-depressants in the past but my experience of psychiatric medicine is that there’s often a cost/benefit balance to be had between improvements and side-effects. If the side-effects are too bad I’m sure that there’s something else out there that might help (there seems to be an endless supply of different types). It sounds like you’ve recognised that something needs to be done, which is important, it could be medication, or something like counselling or indeed both but my feeling would be to talk to a pro. and find out what options are available.

Alongside pills, therapy or whatever any lifestyle changes (better diet etc.) you can make might help too. Sometimes there’s not a single solution to something like depression and a mixture of things can really help.

I do hope that you’re able to get it sorted.

Do work know?

I also started on Citalopram a few weeks back (and have since stopped, but that’s another story), and was very surprised by how much support I got from work when I told them about the diagnosis. Now they know there’s a reason why I’m a miserable bugger all the time 🙂

Personally, I’m treating my illness with counselling, and a training for a half marathon, as well as help from work in avoiding the ultra high stress situations that trigger my depression. But everyone is different. Hope you work it out.

Sorry to hear about your situation. Was in a similar spot last year and despite all the mickey taking that goes on here, I found everyone to be really supportive. Like you, not a fan of chemical solutuons. I would have said counselling wasn’t for me, bit too tree hugger for my liking but actually it was really useful. Got to be worth a shot. You’re not alone, there’s more folk in the same boat than most people realise.

Time of year, weather and short days don’t help you either, I would try more antidepressants if I were you perhaps a different one to Citalopram and give your body time to adjust, speak to your GP asap.

🙁

At least you have support from your workplace. Half the battle is finding a medication which works for you. There is always an element of compromise involved, but sooner or later you find something which works.

I ditched Citalopram in for Proxac. I’d been on Citalopram for about 6 years but was finding it wasn’t really doing anything. Can’t say that the Prozac is doing as much as when I first took it 20 years ago-ish. I had to stop then as I found it had a profound sedative effect on me. I’m now weaning myself off them slowly.

I have been bad with my depression for about 4 years and as a result lost 3 jobs (one I’d been in for 6 years) in 18 months. I have been out of work for the last 12 months. This year I finally managed to get some CBT treatment via NHS. It took most of the year but for the past 2 months I actually am feeling like a proper person again.

I’d recommend medication to try to put you in to a holding pattern. Discuss the symptoms of the Cit with your GP and demand a different one. Also demand that he contact your local mental health department of the NHS so that you can get some proper support. It could take a long time but the sooner started, soonest fixed.

All the best fella, hope that it works out in the not too distant future.

Go back to the GP. Try different pills too. All the best.

One good thing, if it is some sort of consolation, is that you have recognised that you are slipping back into the mire and that you need to take some action.

Go and see your GP.

Cheers all. Beginnings of a warm STW glow inside.

Think I need to speak to my boss about it.

It goes without saying really but I would recommend going and talking things through with your GP as there are many different types of anti-depressants.

Even within a given type such as the SSRIs (of which Citalopram is one example) – one may work for you and one may not. You have Fluoxetine, Sertraline, Paroxetine, Escitalopram to choose from

Of all the SSRIs Citalopram is the one and perhaps the only one commonly associated with weight gain, the others like fluoxetine may result in a reduced appetite, at least upon commencement. So don’t think that the sugar munchies will result from every single AD. Although, sadly the vast majority of psych meds are associated with weight gain.

If weight gain is a concern then try to avoid Mirtazapine, which is commonly prescribed as a second line AD if a generic SSRI doesn’t seem to be working (you might as well be smoking “weed”). But on the plus side it may make you fat, happy and horny!

I would also talk to your GP about the feelings of “recklessness”. This does not sound right, the Citalopram may have been making you high or hypo-manic, together with three episodes of depression in the last 12 months, assuming you achieved full remission, I would be considering asking for a referral to a specialist.

Thanks, GJP (and others) – useful, detailed stuff.

Am annoyed at myself that I’ve let this creep up on me (again) and allowed it to have an effect that others notice.

I can really only echo what others have said

Tell your workplace if at all possible

Revisit the GP for a possible change in medication and a referral to mental health services

Perhaps look for a “talking therapy” to help look for the cause. Antidepressants are mainly a treatment not a cure. Sometimes there is no cause, sometimes it is deep rooted and difficult to find, sometimes it can be found easily

CBT helps you find ways of coping, other therapies can look deeper for causes. Sometimes this is helpful, sometimes it is not.

I started on Fluoxetine about 3 weeks ago. I was/ am suffering from Stress, Anxiety, Depression which has been building up for months.
Finally admitted I needed help about a month ago.
I spoke with my GP and he suggested trying the medication for a few months just to get me through some difficult times. Things have just stated to get a little better for me. Whether it’s the AD’s or me I don’t know.
Good luck ourmaninthenorth, I feel you pain. Hope things work out for you.

Hi Mate. Rumour has it you’re building another bike up. Mine is still a pile of bits at the moment. But its a pile that could resemble something rideable by the weekend.

My own experiences with the big D* You know anyway. I think I was in the process of going completely stark staring wibble-headed about the same time as you.

Lets try and get out one night next week fella. We can get wet muddy and talk crap. No-one is allowed to frown on South Manchester Massive night rides. Why would you? We barely leave the pub

Chin up! 🙂

*not the peanuts with the rude pictures in the pub

Cheers, TJ.

I can identify the cause, though there is nothing I can do about it right now (long story, for another day).

However, I also recognise that I’ve had episodes (to a rather lesser extent) for many years.

I’m now starting to recognize it a bit better, but was holding out for Christmas and some time off (new baby = no holiday since last April). that hasn’t worked out and now I feel like a naughty child, having been told off for my (lack of) commitment and attention at work.

binners – what night? I’ll see what I can do (involves rebuilding MTB, mind).

No holiday since april – that will not help at all.

Sounds to me like some talking therapies could be useful. Different sorts suit different people and personalities.

Bad luck omitn, citalapram worked well for me when I’ve used it, luckily seem to be coping a bit better these days mainly because I’ve built in some changes to how I do things.

That was learned through CBT. There is an excellent Scottish NHS thing online called living life to the full which I found very helpful, if nothing else you feel like you are doing something for yourself.

Best of luck, don’t let the black dog get close enough to bite you…

Let me know what’s best night for you mate. I’ll rally the troops. And…. erm…. build my own bike 😳

I assume your employer knows the cause of you performance issues? They should or they will not make allowances. Get well soon.

i could recomend pregabalin as a good one to try.
done all the mentioned above over the years,but pregabalin seems alot better and more modern

Are you being prescribed by your GP? If so, perhaps speak to them about your concerns regarding how the drugs affected you / the possibility of trying out something else or varying the dosages? Actually, that goes whoever is prescribing!

IME creeping up on you is exactly what depression does. Good luck.

Plus, thanks to all who wrote of their experiences. Helps me.

Get your GP to change the drug for you, they have a nice big book of happy pills and the alternatives to consult. Bear in mind changeover effect take up to 6 weeks to be noticeable. Long term depression is covered by DDA if the employer gets difficult.
Good luck with it.

I would seriously consider asking your GP for referral to a specialist. If you had a poorly liver or lungs, you wouldn’t think twice about asking to see a specialist if the GP’s treatment wasn’t really working would you? Why should your mental health be any different?

Unfortunately, with the best will in the world, even the best GPs are not usually mental health professionals.

Make sure you explain clearly and rationally why you don’t like the drugs you are currently on. Annoying as it seems, if you don’t comply with whatever meds you are prescribed ( for any reason ), you’ll probably struggle to convince anybody that they need changing.

Personally, I’m on Sodium valproate (Mood stabilizer),sertraline (anti-depressant) ,Quetiapine (anti-Psychotic) and zopiclone (To get me to sleep once I’ve got huge surges of seratonin running around my system) and a visit to a psychiatrist every week, That’s taken the best part of thirty years to get a balance of treatment, drugs and dosage that work for me. If I’d started kicking off and complaining about the treatments I was being being given earlier, I reckon it would only have taken a quarter of that time to get to this stage.

So…….. stick with it and good luck. please to feel free to contact me anytime even its just to moan about the pils making you puke 🙂

Blower – Member
i could recomend pregabalin as a good one to try.
done all the mentioned above over the years,but pregabalin seems alot better and more modern

Well I certainly wasn’t expecting anyone to come up with that one. Definitely a left field recommendation.

However, Pregablin (Gabapentin) is not an anti-depressant it is a AED (anti-epileptic drug).

AEDs are used as mood stablisers in bipolar disorder both in biploar1 and bipolar2, but even then there is very little evidence, if any, that gabapentin is effective.

To the best of my knowledge, even as a mood stabiliser it would not be a first line choice – Lithium, Valporate in some form, carbamazapene, Lamotrigine are much more likely to be used or even one of the atypical anti-psychotics (olanzapine and quetiapine).

Gapapentin is supposed to be good for anxiety as it is basically the amino acid, neuro-transmitter GABA and can pass the blood brain barrier, but my understanding is that it is generally used as an adjunctive therapy rather than a mono-therapy? Are these your experiences Blower?

OMITN I doubt any GP would go down this route without first giving 2 or 3 standard anti-depressants (SSRI, SSNI, NaSSa type drugs) a decent shot and even then most likely refer on the CMHT for a specialist consultation before taking any further actions re prescribed drugs.

OMITN – a quick scan of the NICE guidelines on depression may be helpful, it will basically outline the approach that GPs should follow in normal circumstances.

Cheers, all. As always, slightly speechless at STW. In a good way, of course.

binners – I’ll let you know.

Cheers

Tom

hmmm how I’ve stumbled on this thred I’m not sure..
but I’ve just started dating a girl and notice the Citalopram strip of tablets, so I googled it.
not ever having anything to do with this sort of thing I just DONT get it.
If your not happy do something that makes you happy!! is that not the answer?
whats the best way to bring this subject up? or is it more down to the person to tell me?
Very Intrested
cheers

Geoff1 – I feel you are completely missing the point about depression. It is not about being happy or sad, rather it is a mood disorder.

Think in terms of the difference between the climate and the weather. The weather may change significantly from from day to day as can people’s emotions (happy, sad etc).

Changes in climate however, represent a significant long term shift. There will still be day to day shifts in the weather, so even depressed people will feel better on some days over others (ie. a bit more upbeat etc) but the overall frame of reference has been altered.

Resolving depression is about reversing the shift in climate and not the weather. The weather will always vary whether so you will always experience happiness and sadness whether you are depressed or not.

One of the relatively common side effects of ADs drugs is “Emotional Blunting”, you won’t see it on the drug leaflets. Yes, people no longer feel depressed, but the problem is they now no longer feel anything, neither happy or sad. The drug has created a climate shift, but screwed up with the weather.

All this said I prefer to think of Depression in terms of “Energy” levels. True clinical depression is physical in nature. You could give me any amount of money, the most beautiful women in the world, the nicest homes and cars in the most beautiful parts of the world etc and I guarantee you one thing I would still be depressed.

If people have ‘energy” then it is difficult to be depressed, hence the highs in bi-polar disorder. Take away the Energy, then in sets the lethargy, the irritability and the drop in mood etc.

PS. If you are having trouble with your new GF reaching orgasm, don’t be too hard on yourself – you can blame it on the Citalopram 😀

Mega lols at the ps 😀

cheers GJP thats a great help.
I called her the other day and she sounded really down about the fact that she was sh*t at the gym. I guess she was having a bad day.
happy about the last bit 🙂 thought i was losing my touch 😉 lmao

PS. If you are having trouble with your new GF reaching orgasm, don’t be too hard on yourself – you can blame it on the Citalopram

I almost feel better already after reading that… 😀

However if you are a guy and taking citalopram you soon develop immense staying power….

Tom, sorry to hear. I read a book on CBT by Dr David Burns. It really helped me. Some of the things that upset me are to do with fairness, taking things personally and unrealistic expectations. CBT shows you ways of thinking about these things in a different way. (That was a terrible explanation by the way!).

Please don’t beat yourself up. Depression is just as real as a cold, and you wouldn’t beat yourself up for catching a cold, would you? If you had a friend who was down you wouldn’t beat them up would you? You would maybe take them out for a drink or buy them a present, so maybe you could try treating yourself like a treasured friend, instead of a naughty person? Just a thought. Good luck. x

Thanks, Karin. I’ll have a look at that (and the other resources suggested by people).

Time to steal myself to go to a work christmas do. As you can imagine, the last thing I want to do is socialize, and least of all with colleagues.

Fixed rictus grin applied. Off I go.

I’m currently in my second week without Citalopram. I find i’m not having the same depressive and obsessive thoughts I was having while taking them.

The slightly worrying downside is that my wife has noticed a complete change in me for the worse, more susceptible to ranting and anger, also I can’t seem to get rid of the *bump* feeling……the only way i can describe it is that it’s like when your dreaming and in your dream you trip or fall of a kerb or something and you get that jolt awake, just not as pronounced…..not a nice feeling.

Actually i feel a bit more anxious than i did when i was on them, just noticed that, it’s like a feeling of dread

Boba – it will take a while for your body to adapt to not having them. Be patient hard tho it seems

boba – funnily enough, I recognise all of that from a third party POV: I watched Mrs North feel the same when she stopped taking ADs (first seroxat, then citalopram) for several months.

Have you tapered your way off them (rather than just dropping from dose to no dose)?

When I was taking them, I only took them for a few weeks, and they seemed to straighten me out (though also made me notice that I felt quite reckless on them – a sort of high, cavalier feeling). I was on the lowest dose, so they were easy to come off.

Anti depressants have never worked for me for depression and i’ve tried a few different ones. The only thing that really works for me is hard aerobic exercise. I dislocated my shoulder on Saturday and by Tuesday I was falling into a pit of darkness not being able to exercise.

I have set up my mountain bike on the turbo trainer and yesterday did a session. Straight away I felt better. It is dull riding a bike indoors and the only way I can do it is by watching tv, but it makes a big difference.

When I am seriously depressed I cannot face going to the gym, but am able to do 40 minutes training in the spare room.

Have you thought about getting a turbo trainer or spin bike so you can exercise at home?