Things they don’t tell you about baby rearing…

My list would be quite different to yours, which tells you that what works well for one baby doesn’t necessarily work well for all babies…

My wife and I almost murdered each other many times in the first few months but it gets easier quite quickly.

It’s the baby causing the problems. But it’s you who got her pregnant so it’s all your fault. See? it all works out in the end.

My list would be quite different to yours, which tells you that what works well for one baby doesn’t necessarily work well for all babies..

It’s a bit tongue in cheek, but I completely agree. Our second was a completely different experience to the first.

I have a copy of Dr Spock’s interesting view on child rearing. Most of it is okay, but some things, well, erm, provoke controversy.

Sod books, just sleep while you can and go out for meals/cinema/pubs with the wife while you have the chance.

Also, feel free to re-open this thread at any time 😀
http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/welcome-to-the-mtfu-daddies-breakfast-club

I have a copy of Dr Spock’s interesting view on child rearing. Most of it is okay, but some things, well, erm, provoke controversy. are most illogical Captain.

FTFY

Actual advice books are all bobins unless you are good a taking advice with a pinch of salt.

Don’t bother with a book, seriously. Your missus will devour all of them anyway.

Your job is to be a taxi driver, hod-carrier and house clown.

“I figured that already! But I am off on holiday so need something to read, so though I might get something useful for a change.”

Dont read, just sleep now while you can and try and remember what its like, because you will feel tired, no exhausted for years to come.

We didnt bother with a book, as every kid is different and there are too many variables. What works for one family might not work for another.

Babies are very hard work for little reward, its just a cycle of feeding, pooing, sleeping, crying etc etc. Dont get me wrong its quite amazing at the same time, but as above a cat or dog is more fun in the early days.

One thing I quite often here, but very few people wont say in public is that they fined babies very hard work, with little reward. I think this is true, and certainly Jnr FD was hardwork being seriously ill nearly every week and not sleep well. However now just over 2 being a Dad is the most amazing experience, and as a family we have never laughed so much or felt so loved.

Plus in August I’m going part time to look after Jnr FD 😀 and maybe ride my bike a little more

and whatever your idea of the birth is.. under no circumstances look as its coming out.

Or, as a colleague said: “It’s like watching your favourite pub burn down.”

and whatever your idea of the birth is.. under no circumstances look as its coming out.

And if your missus just had an emergency C-section DO NOT be tempted to give her a loving look as you are gently led away with the new baby – you are the WRONG SIDE OF THE SCREEN at that point and seeing someone you love with their innards hanging out is a haunting sight!

“C-section DO NOT be tempted to give her a loving look as you are gently led away with the new baby – you are the WRONG SIDE OF THE SCREEN at that point and seeing someone you love with their innards hanging out is a haunting sight!”

Oh I loved that bit. As Mrs FD is a surgeon, her and the team were giving me a talk about the different layers they were cutting through as they went, and what bits were what. Its quite incredible whats inside a human body!

The important thing to remember is no book is right, what works is right.
This goes for everything, although I guess a book could well help you with ideas of why baby is screaming, although there may be no reason!

You’ll like it anyway, and to all the doom mongers, I had plenty of sleep and loads of riding from day one. 18months in and it’s still ace, despite a ‘rough’ night where she woke up for 25 mins at midnight then slept till 7:45…

as the father of a 2 week old boy, I agree with all of the above.
Google is my biggest friend at the moment – much more useful than any knowledge gained through reading anything before his arrival.
my first day back at work today and it’s like being on holiday…
however I disagree about lots of effort and little reward – I even find trying to get him quiet at 4am good fun. I imagine that will get tiresome quite quickly though.

Brakes.. wait another 5 weeks and revisit this thread at 5am after you’ve had 2 hours broken sleep and the little man has just shit on your hand then pissed in your eye.. :D. Then 10 mins layer pukes down your back and the floor and promptly falls asleep whilst you are trying to fend off the dog who is enthusiastically trying to jump up to lick your back… except you can’t shout at the dog because the little man would wake up.

Ours never threw up.

Brakes: 2 weeks? you’re still in the Honeymoon period. Post again when you haven’t slept for 3 months.

I used to regularly spend my lunch hour at work curled up under my desk with the lights off.

Or, as a colleague said: “It’s like watching your favourite pub burn down.”

😆

Ours never threw up.

how odd… baby puke is a piece of cake anyway. proper projectile Toddler puke all over the bed at 3.00AM when you have had a few beers is worse. Then to have it again 30 mins later is a double pain.

I’m hoping he’s peaked early as I’ve already been sequentially shat, pissed and spat on by my darling child at 3am, with a new nappy/ vest on each time. then he proceeded to cry for 2 hours for no known reason.
advice: get a good, quick, reliable washing machine – you’ll need it.

….but he does wake up every night for circa 2hours demanding milk, then shoving it away. Demanding it, then throwing it on the floor…repeat..

Ah the lovely tanrum 2yr olds.

Jnr FD probably only ever threw up once or twice as a baby, and to be fair I didnt mind it, wasnt particularly unpleasent stuff. Toddler puke is an all together different thing, its putrid.

“fend off the dog who is enthusiastically trying to jump up to lick your back”

We would often find ourselves fending the dog off, to stop her eating the sick 😯

Please don’t trust ‘experts’ who write books. An experienced parent just telling their own story maybe, but no ‘experts’.

And this movie is an absolute must.

This was on again at the weekend….
Dara O’Brien on NCT classes…… NSFW etc

My advice is do not read books. If in doubt ask your mum. I found the nct classes good and helped with the labour bit, but they could have done it all in a few hours.

We would often find ourselves fending the dog off, to stop her eating the sick

What the hell have you got a dog for, then??? When our first used to throw up the first thing to do would be call the dog, gets the worst cleaned up then it’s just a quick mop and you’re done 🙂

OP: you really don’t need a book, although one that tells you roughly when baby will start sitting up / smiling / talking etc. can be interesting. Everything else you’ll work out very quickly as you go along. Mind you, that “Fatherhood: The Truth” looks quite entertaining.

Do not, under any circumstances

ask your mum.

The advice will contradict what the mother of your child thinks is best and you will be persona non grata.

If you do

ask your mum.

do not divulge where the information came from!

Or, as a colleague said: “It’s like watching your favourite pub burn down.”

You know they will put it back together again but it will never be quite the same.

This is good: http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Contented-Little-Baby-Book/dp/0091912695/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1338306052&sr=8-1

Can be a bit contraversial but together with djaustins excellent post, this’ll help massively. Above all (and ours is now 3.5yrs) the “routine” allows predictablity you and mum can rely on for years. Its great for her in the early years becuase she’s so in demand, yet she’ll be able to plan simple things like lunch, naps etc. Later on, everyone can plan thier day as jnr falls into the routine – not to be taken lightly, ask anyone whose kid isn’t in a routine and demands constant attention how much free time they have.

Its also great now in the latter years as I know 7pm is always beer time for me bedtime for jnr.

Oh, and instinct is your friend. You know what to do, the change / sleep deprevation / life change is a shock at first but you’ll cope, don’t panic.

We were given a copy of “What to expect in the first year”. We didn’t bother with it until 2 weeks or so after ours came along. If we had read the first 2 chapters before that we may have avoided 2 calls to NHS24 and a trip to hospital! It’s set out really well with questions and answers rather than preaching, it’s heavy on breast feeding tho’. Just use it to take what you need rather than as a set of rules.

All kids are different, listen to all advice but do what is best for you and your baby.

As others have said, take help when it is offered. Don’t be afraid to sleep in the middle of the day when you get a chance.

The first 6 weeks will probably be a blur, but remember that it will get easier/better!

And most of all being a dad is ace!!!

Razzle,escort or playbirds they were my old mans shed reading material when i was dragged up.

Post again when you haven’t slept for 3 nine months.

FTFY. At least our second slept through. Sleep deprivation is a very efficient torture. Brakes, you aren’t even warmed up yet!

And I agree that the first 12mo are a bit of a slog, then they wake up and 18mo onwards is great. Then they become teenagers, steal all your bike kit and generally know best. Still at least I can drop him on the climbs 😈

Mine is 1 today

I didn’t read much, but when we had issues to deal with I would do a little googling to get some pointers. If your wife is reading plenty then she’ll be up to speed on the current medical advice for the important stuff. I would agree that the early stages are a massive adjustment and can feel like impossibly hard work for no return, but the first proper smile wipes it all away. Then it gets better, and better, and better 🙂

Listen to your friends advice if they have good kids.

Take note of your friends who have badly behaved kids.

And there is no real advice for the first 3 months apart from survival and sleep. After that, aim for a routine but don’t get too hung up on it.

My wife has used the Baby Whisperer Sleep book as a reference point.

No useful guide book for blokes. Dad of 2 here and what I have needed to learn has come from the wife’s books all of which contradict each other.

No. 1 job for dad in our house is to back up mum in the baby phase. Whatever that is on any given day. Oh and earn money. You don’t need a book of your own to tell you how to do.this (well you shouldn’t).

You should, however, get a copy of

The Gruffalo
Tiddler
Tyrannosaurus Drip

But especially The Gruffalo.