OK, heres a brief background.

Been working for a company for 16 years. Progressed through the ranks from general dogsbody to supervisor ultimately to manager.

About 5 years ago I stood down as manager as my wifes MS became so bad that I found it too much to care for her and hold down a full time job. Family first. My employers were totally understanding and kept me on the same hourly rate for doing a much less stressful job.

1 year later we were take over by another company. Many of the original staff have left because the MD of the new company is a cock and hasnt a clue how to treat people – it seems to be the companies ethos, however he has ALWAYS treated me with the utmost respect. Probably because Im one of the few left there that knows what theyre doing, and he doesnt want to lose me.

Anyway, I wont bore you with the recent goings on suffice to say I am extremely unimpressed with the new company and the way in which they treat their staff. I (along with one or two of the present staff) have been offered another job back at the original company, who have recently won a major contract. This is a new venture and could be good.

Thats the dilemma. I feel as though I would be leaving my present employers in the shite if I leave and it doesnt make me feel good.

I know, I know. I should man up, stop being such a pussy and look after number one, but the guilt is keeping me awake.

Any constructive comments?

Would they leave you in the shite if it benefitted them?

One life, do what’s best for you + your wife.

why do you feel loyalty toward the new company if they are as bad as they say? Also does the new job come with more money/less hours/extra benefits ? If you cant decide simply do it on the basis of economics?

Hand in your notice with a brief meeting with your manager and explain that, whilst you’ll always be grateful for the way you were treated during your wife’s illness and have enjoyed many happy years with them, you feel there comes a time when you have to act in your own best interests. Wish them well for the future and tell them you wouldn’t be upset if you ended up working with them again in the future.

Thanks for your comments.

GrahamS: I think we both know the answer to that one. Good point.

allthepies: Bang on mate. Thanks.

NickyB: Its just the way I am. Im loyal. Sometimes to my own undoing.

bikemonkey: Absolutely brilliant mate. Just what I needed to hear. Ill memorise that statement to the letter.

Cheers

Feeling much better now. 🙂

I think you have to be mercenary about this, you have to look after number one. If it were the other way around and they needed to make redundancies, they wouldn’t be sentimental about it. People change jobs, it’s the way of the world. After 16 years, they can’t argue with the service you’ve provided them so far.

Also, Bikemonkey is wise.

bikemonkey is spot on.

Ultimately you do what is best for you and your wife, nothing else matters. Doesn’t mean you can’t do it in as “nice” a way as possible.

+1 bikemonkey. Never say anything negative about them, explain they’ve been a great employer and you’re sad to leave, but you feel it’s time to broaden your experience.

I’m confused. Wasn’t the original company taken over and if so what has happened that you can be offered a job there?

Either way, you need to put yourself first, companies have no conscience when it comes to staff.

+1 for bikemonkey’s advice

Woody: I didnt go into too much detail really. Both comanies have different businesses going on, and ‘my’ deptartment is just one of them. The original company never collapsed they just concentrated on their other stuff.

+2 for bikemonkey’s advice.

Bikemonkey for ambassador to the UN! with diplomacy like that the world could only get better.

Treat them as you would expect to be treated.

I suspect the feeling of guilt comes from the nice treatment you got when you stepped down a level to spend more time with your wife. However, the company likely didn’t do this out of pure altruism, but made a business decision about how valuable you were/are to them and offered you new terms.

CaptJon – Wouldn’t necessarily agree. We are relatively even handed when it comes to things like that. Sure, if you’re in your probation period or are an idle layabout then maybe not, but if you’re not, we’re very accommodating to people with issues they need to sort out (or just changes in their lives they want to make).

Life’s too short though. You stuck with the company through bad times rather than jumping as soon as the new owners made it bad so you’ve paid them back. They might be in the shit for a short time but the cemetery is full of essential people so don’t worry too much about it because they’ll have to learn to live with it.

Great comments /advice.

Really digested and appreciated.

Thanks all.

You have no loyalty to the new company whereas you should have some to the old company.
I see no dilemma.

When you hand your notice in make sure they know why you’re doing it.

No need for guilt. You worked hard for the firm. It’s your career and you and your wife’s life.

There is also no need to burn bridges by pointing up that they are idiots. What would that achieve?

They might become a better company.

GrahamS – Member
Would they leave you in the shite if it benefitted them?

+1

Don’t see the dilemma. From what you say the company is no longer anything like the company your gave loyal service to and which in return treated you well. Also from your description the new boss would probably get shut of you in a heart beat if it suited him. Get your resignation on his desk first thing Monday

don’t confuse a business with a person who has feelings

iDave +1

I was with a company for 14 years. Thought I was well thought of. Made lots of sacrifices (unpaid overtime etc) and really played the company game. Thought of our senior manager as a friend. Wrong on all counts.

Came back from a fantastic holiday, all’s well on the Monday. Wednesday, called into the office. Re-organisation etc, no place for me. Take this pot of monies and **** off basically. No support, no nothing.

Look after yourself and your wife.

yes iDave is correct
I would feel delight in doing this if you treat people badly they will treat you badly. You can either say this constructivly or you can say it bluntly. I would say it bluntly to their manager or as high up the company tree as i could get and probably twist the knife as much as I could whilst doing this.
People treat you how you treat them and they need a good Karma kicking for how they treat people Carpe Diem 😉

I know a chap who worked dilligently and hard for a company for 20 yrs, 20yrs excellent appraisals, senior management changed and after a short period of technical issues he was used as a scapegoat and booted out. Just like that.

I understand your emotion but you do need to calmly decide what gives you the best opportunity and what you feel you WANT to do.

whatever you chose bonzodog, good luck 🙂

You need to ask yourself, would they have treated you so well if someone else had your experience within the company?
At the end of the day, you need to choose what right for YOU. Yes by all means consider the situation it may leave your current employers, but if things changed they may well start treating you like poo.
As long as the new job is reasonably stable and secure, i’d go for it!
I left my last job of 9 years in march last year for another which i havent regretted. My previous employer had changed ownership and changed beyond all recognition, plus due to a restructure, I would have been out of a job next month as my department is being disbanded.