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Anyone else just can't be arsed doing anything about it!? I've got two dates this week, both smart, funny and attractive women but I'm just not bothered. It seems too much like hard work compared with seeing friends, going out for food, the gym, riding my bike etc.
I actually think having quite a stressful job is dampening my desire to make any sort of effort after work, excepting the above mentioned easy and familiar things.
Ironically I'm 32, would like to settle down and definitely want children sooner rather than later.
I've got two dates this week, both smart, funny and attractive women but I'm just not bothered
time for a gay phase ??
or learn to love yourself but please keep the curtains closed during...
Sounds fine - you're not desperate so when you meet someone you'll be ready.
No point in spending time doing something you don't wnt to.
I can send you 2 kids if that helps. 13 & 11 don't eat much 🙄
Same boat mate.
I've been on three dates in the last two months, one im still talking to and will see what happens.
How did you meet them? I met two from internet dating sites and it just weird. There always awkward pauses and the situation always feels forced and un-natural.
try eating some viagra before you go on the date - its like dating when you were 18 again
at least you make it to date stage...I havnt had a date in years 😳
MTB_rossi - one's from an internet site (embarrassingly it was my mother who begged me to join up because she's desperate for me to find someone!) the other is a friend of a friend.
I agree with your comments about weird and un-natural. But that aside, I just wish I had more enthusiasm for it!
I think Cynic-al is right. I'm not desperate so when I do meet someone it'll be easy. It's probably the pressure from others thinking I should be dating etc.
can definately relate to the stressful job part.... think the trick is finding someone with an equally/more stressful job than you, they dont tend to blabble on about inane stuff all the time, are just as up for chilling and doing nothing and equally understand when you want to get out on your own 🙂
Jonah - not a good idea! The little fella hasn't lost any of his enthusiasm!
The trick is not to think you 'have' to do anything. If you're having fun dating, good for you, if not, stop trying so hard, who cares? Being single isn't inherently wrong.
The pot of suitable avalible women must get smaller each year you get older. After all age takes its toll on the body and the brain.
Do something about it soon or you'll end up with a haggered, mad old cow. Or alone
The pot of suitable avalible women must get smaller each year you get older.
I have found the reverse - as I get older I find older women more attractive, but I still like the younger ones too :o)
Do you find that you the older you become, the less tolerant you become of people in the whole dating thing ?
Or perhaps its just me...! 🙂
Do you find that you the older you become, the less tolerant you become of people in the whole dating thing ?
no 🙂
I have found the reverse - as I get older I find older women more attractive, but I still like the younger ones too :o)
this is true. I wonder if it reaches a peak at some point? or do you think when you're in your ninties say, you lust after any female including the 'old dears'
Mounty73- I'm just less tolerant of everything. Being newly single after 6 years the thought of jumping through hoops and putting up with all the bs of dating makes me think I really can't be bothered with it. My only regret is i didn't dump the silly cow sooner- might be a few anger issues and transferrence going on here!
Penrod - I sincerely hope that was tongue in cheek!
Mounty - I agree, but it's not my tolerance causing me problems here, I'm just not fussed about getting out there, whereas my family/friends think I'll be stuck on a shelf if I'm not careful!
I do agree about the older woman thing, the last couple have been older women... 🙂
I think dating is what you make it, it can..... and should be fun, otherwise why bother, but then that should apply to most things in life, IMO.
simonfbarnes - Member
I have found the reverse - as I get older I find [s]older women more attractive, but I still like the younger ones too :o)[/s] [b]I'll **** anything.[/b]
😀
nature's beer goggles 😆
I have found the reverse - as I get older I find older women more attractive, but I still like the younger ones too :o) [b]I'll **** anything[/b].
do you mind ? Speak for yourself! I'm very selective :o)
the last couple have been older women
2 at once ? Respect 🙂
2 at once ? Respect
If only................it's what dreams are made of......zzzzzzzz
I'm in the same position as the OP. Had a few dates over the past couple of months but just dont seem that bothered about it - although the idea of 'meeting someone and settling down' does appeal in many ways!
You're an unhappy toad OP and you want to marry and have kids?
Do you want to be depressed forever? be happy first!
BTW how did you meet these two ladies?
Meeting someone and settling down is appealing?
Err what appeals? being a grump and married???
Where is the STW romance and bliss/soul mates etc?
Presses lever of toilet... 😆
Well, I'm going out with a preety, inteligent ( as far as I can tell) girl tonight... I just got a text from a few friends who are going to ride a skatepark after work... It says alot that I thought damn, I can't ride, I'm going on a date... I'm just not fussed at all really at the moment, although at the same time, I think 2 years is long enough being single...
do you think when you're in your ninties say, you lust after any female including the 'old dears'
If I can remember what to do with it in my 90s I'll be chuffed!
I'm just not fussed at all really at the moment
I pity your date 🙁
or do you think when you're in your ninties say, you lust after any female including the 'old dears'
I think that will rather depend on their (and my) physical condition 🙂
There's definitely nothing wrong with being single and I agree with simonfbarnes, the older you get the broader the range of attractive women seems to get.
The way I look at it, is that I have plenty going on in my life and I'm really enjoying everything I've got going on. So I'm not going to spoil that just for the sake of meeting someone else's social expectations or to fulfill my Mum's grandchild quota.
Life's to be enjoyed - not to fit in 😀
Haha, me too...
Frankenstein - hang on, I never said I was unhappy or depressed. I'm a very happy and content person who loves their life!
I was simply asking if there's anyone else out there that isn't particularly stimulated by the whole dating thing but does actually like the idea settling down.
From the other responses I can see that a few others empathise with what I'm saying.
Lyons/Lexiekay - exactly how I feel!
jimmer himself - Member
There's definitely nothing wrong with being single and I agree with simonfbarnes, the older you get the broader the range of attractive women seems to get.The way I look at it, is that I have plenty going on in my life and I'm really enjoying everything I've got going on. So I'm not going to spoil that just for the sake of meeting someone else's social expectations or to fulfill my Mum's grandchild quota.
Life's to be enjoyed - not to fit in
Rightly said!
OP so you're happy!
just not excited about dating but still happy-then go and enjoy yourself but make sure these women want the same thing or you'll be dating women who want to get married etc
Tick the box that says fun! but you never know where that will lead!
You'll have to post how the dates went and if you're scored!
My friend (a girl) gave my number to one of her mates she worked with, who's a 42 year old care worker from the Phillipines. lol. Now im being text stalked. I've not replied but its getting annoying.
Where is the STW romance and bliss/soul mates etc?
Got this text from my girlfriend this morning who had just seen yesterday's ride pics:
Hi - I loved the photos. You really must be happy with the opportunity to be riding in so beautiful a place and freely.
There really wasn't much dating involved at all - just hit me out of the blue, but its worth hanging on in there till you do meet someone special 😀
Who cares what your family & friends think? If you don't want to date, don't do it. It's your life, not theirs
Having said that, I wouldn't know where to start if I found myself single again. Down the gym I think...
not to fit in
I quite like the fitting-in part :o)
I can send you 2 kids if that helps.
Well I can do that plus i'll even throw a wife in for nowt if you like....
Jimmer himself - my sentiments exactly!
Frankenstein - I appreciate your comments about letting the women know, I'm definitely not out there to lead people on! I've got a date tonight, I'll be sure to let you know tomorrow how it went!
Maybe it's because the last few dates I've gone on have just been a bit poor, so I'm expecting them to be like that, whereas when I went on a first (blind) date with my last gf it was great fun and we ended up seeing each other the next night... But to meet someone like that again I have to put some effort in...
It sounds to me that you aren't ready to settle down, even though you think that's the case.
I met hubby when I'd really had enough of men and decided I'm going to go out and do all the things I've ever wanted, that's when it accidently happened, miles from home in California.
And yes he settled for a mad old cow. 😉
Mintyjim - Member
I've got a date tonight, I'll be sure to let you know tomorrow how it went!
Good luck and don't talk about star trek or star wars etc 😆
Who needs tv!
STW reality channel! 😯
Any single ladies on here then ? 😉
Any single ladies on here then ?
"I can't be arsed to date, it's too much trouble. Fancy a sh*g ??"
Frankenstein - I have many, many leather bound books and my house smells of rich mahogany...star wars/trek is definitely off the menu!
I'm glad I didn't ask the question about single ladies! Classic stuff considering my original topic.
"I can't be arsed to date, it's too much trouble. Fancy a sh*g ??"
That very succinctly summarises my view on dating at the moment.
Any single ladies on here then ?
I was wondering when we'd get there. 😉
Mintyjim know exactly how you feel. The right one will come along eventually and you'll want to be bothered and it'll probably happen when you least expect it...well that's what I'm hoping.
Good luck mate! Wash your nob! 🙂
ctznsmith - That's what I keep telling myself!
mtb_rossi - Good advice!
Nothing wrong with having some fun in the mean time though is there? 🙂
Haha, I'll follow mtb rossi's advice myself I think, and let you all know how it goes. Not actually looking to settle down etc myself being only 24, just see what happens.
The right one will come along eventually and you'll want to be bothered and it'll probably happen when you least expect it...well that's what I'm hoping.
I feel like now that I'm living proof of this, as you've probably realised mate 😉
Nothing wrong with having some fun in the mean time though is there?
I was single for years, and had got really fed up with it. I was meeting girls, just not much was really happening, and I lost all enthusiasm about going on dates etc. too as it felt like I was just running through the motions, until I got dumped anyway...
Fast Forward to the start of this year. Having been seeing a girl over Christmas that I quite liked, but unceremoniously being dumped in the new year, I had a change of heart, and thought "Sod it, I'm fine being single"... And actually meant it! So what happens then?
Well as you might have guessed, women start taking more interest in me, cos I was less bothered about them! One girl I'd met a couple of times previously, instantly took quite a shine to me, so we had a few casual "meetings" round my place...
Which then leads onto the next thing... I ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEE that the best way to meet the girl of your dreams is to have a bit of casual regular sex with someone you're not that fussed about... Cos that's exactly what happened to me (and yes, OF COURSE she doesn't know so don't you dare tell her, but I made sure I knocked it on the head with the other girl immediately, there was DEFINITELY no overlap)... Been with my new GF 4 1/2 months now, and things get better by the day! She's funny, attractive, makes me laugh constantly, puts up with my foibles and... She's into cycling! Yup, SHE ASKED ME if I'd like to go for a bike ride for about our 3rd or 4th date! OK, she wasn't into Mountain Biking, but she's gone offroad with me about 3 times now and she bloody loves it and can't get enough!
I'm chuffed to bits, the only thing that would make me happier is if she got a better job so that she felt more fulfilled, preferably closer to me too (but then 30 miles isn't the be all and end all). But then that will come, she's not long graduated from Uni, everyone hates their first job out of uni...
Wash your nob
Sage advice...but if you don't get anywhere at the end of the evening, don't go and blow any future chances by saying something stoopid like "ahh!! and I washed my nob specially".
Thats cool mboy.
It's definitely true about the non-chalant attitude toward women. If you take an interest (or too much of an interest) they go right off you. If you act aloof and not so bothered then they seem to take more of an interest. No idea why that is, but its true.
If you get a girls number, text to say hi, but for gods sakes, if she doesn't reply don't follow it up! Constantly texting is a sure fire way for her to back off.
And most of all, act like a friend and not a bloke who just wants to score. Compliments are good, but at appropriate times. It's all about timing in my experience and casual persistence.
After all these years........I still hate that word....'Sh*g' !
I think its a bit like looking for the TV remote control....the more you look for it, the less you find it.....then sooner or later it just pops up out of nowhere...! lol
I must admit I used to like the explorative part of dating, i.e. finding our about each other. If I was in that situation again, then that's where my mojo would be.
good thread. I feel slightly more optimistic.
[i]I've got a date tonight, I'll be sure to let you know tomorrow how it went![/i]
"Can you tell me what you thought of our date please? I'm taking notes cos I need to tell an internet forum full of cycling obsessed middle-aged IT managers exactly what happened. Oh and do you fancy a shag?"
Well, it's a conversation starter. Or finisher...
T'is true about the legend-show too much interest or needy and they're gone.
Just be the sex god you are! 😆
Check please!
I'm single. Have been for two years, apart from a brief (mis)adventure earlier this year. I don't always want to be single, I have a really lovely life and it would be nice to have someone special in it, or part of it anyway. I am affectionate and funny and kind and not bad looking I suppose for my age.
Then again, I am having the nicest time being single. The best part is that I get zero hassle for the amount of time and money I spend on my bikes, I can walk the dog for as long as I want (and let her snooze on my bed) and I can talk to men without any jealous outbursts. I can eat what I want when I want. Go to bed when I want and get up when I want. Drink or not as I please. Go on holiday when and where I want. If I crash the car I'm not going to get into trouble. I don't have anyone's ego to massage or insecurities to prop up.
Obviously there is no sex, but balanced against the hassle of having a boyfriend...
The best part is that I get zero hassle for the amount of time and money I spend on my bikes, I can walk the dog for as long as I want (and let her snooze on my bed) and I can talk to men without any jealous outbursts. I can eat what I want when I want. Go to bed when I want and get up when I want. Drink or not as I please. Go on holiday when and where I want. If I crash the car I'm not going to get into trouble. I don't have anyone's ego to massage or insecurities to prop up.
To be fair, being married / in a relationship doesn't automatically preclude you from doing those things either.
I'm glad you found a good 'un - something that has eluded me - so far, but I am still optimistic-ish
To be fair, being married / in a relationship doesn't automatically preclude you from doing those things either.
Hmmmm, when bike number 5 appeared (all mine), the writing was on the wall for me. 🙄
Karin - I completely understand what you are saying. Am still at the novelty stage or at least I was until daughter moved in. 🙁
I'd just quite like to meet a girl who didn't already have a boyfriend that she'd neglected to mention (yes, women do this too!), an insatiable appetite for cocaine (getting wired 5 nights per week is not my definition of an occasional 'recreational' habit) and who didn't run hot and cold...one minute bailing out of pre-arranged dates and the next turning up at my flat in the small hours in tears demanding I give her one more chance!
Last three have all had one, several or all of those dubious attributes.
Where are you finding them then bravehotel9er? Sounds awful. 😯
just don't bother
First one was a friend's housemate, then a designer I met at a gig and the third was a nurse I met on a dating website.
The depressing thing for me was the fact that they represent an example each from the three most common methods of meeting someone: the 'friend of a friend', the 'chance encounter' and the 'cyber gamble'!
Women - we don't understand ourselves sometimes. Reckon it's the same for men too. We're all losing our ability to communicate face-to-face.
I just prefer to ride my bike. 8)
MBoy - love your story.
Some very good advice on here, even the 'wash your nob' comment funny but very VERY important!
So chill out and get out, take out, buy her a drink out then make out! Throw in some jokes and yes i agree a few compliments and thats how you get us girls 🙂
I married and divorced pretty young, I decided I would steer clear of long term relationships, whilst I thought this wouldn't last and don't rule out getting married again, I don't think I've had a relationship last much over 6 months in the last 10 years, and it's been a blast 🙂 I really enjoy being single, I can't say it's better or worse than being in a relationship, it's just a different set of pro's and con's. I date but I'm not on the hunt for the 'one', as so many of my peers seem to be. You can tell with some folk that when you meet them they are desperate to work out if you could be that 'special one', where as I'm generally more worried about how good the food is. I find getting dates pretty easy, and find some basic manners, and a bit of a sense of humour go a long way!
the older you get the broader the range of attractive women seems to get.
Not round these parts, although in fairness I am most definitely NOT looking.
One of the problems is that I see women when they are 'not at their best'. Someone who I could well have found attractive, intelligent etc. at 9PM (if I went out 'socialising') can be a very different proposition at 2AM when they have had a couple of bottles of wine and 50 paracetamol! Unfortunately, I'm only seeing them at 2AM and the fact that I could have unwittingly been there under different circumstances scares the crap out of me, particularly as I've only been on my own for 18 months since leaving 'the mad bitch from hell' 😯
I would also echo Karinofnines sentiments that it is very nice to do what you want, when you want. It does occur to me that perhaps posting on a mountainbike forum at midnight is not exactly the most productive use of time and my day has been occupied with dog-walking, bike riding, bike tinkering and a bit of cooking. But hey, I've just finished 4 nightshifts, the sun was shining and me and the dogs have had a cracking time, so as far as a partner goes I'm happy with taking the attitude that if someone comes along, great, if not then that's fine too 😉
I really like what I'm reading so far and I must admit it's quite cathartic posting your thoughts, anonymously, on this site!
Although bravohotel9er your experiences are pretty horrendous! Fortunately I've been quite lucky in that respect and everybody I meet are very nice, normal and fun girls - but the desire to continue anything with them still eludes me.
Personally I think I need a coup de foudre to snap me out of my single ways, the love will grow, or casual acquaintance doesn't seem to work for me!
Last night's date was great, washed my nob, drove to Ogmore (beach in South Wales) for a walk, had dinner, was invited back for coffee...back in my twenties I wouldn't have needed asking twice and would have ended up doing the wild monkey dance without a second thought!
Yup, you guessed it, I declined. I didn't feel a spark and had an early morning meeting today! Integrity intact but clean nob very unhappy!
Role on Thursday for the next exciting instalment and blind date!
although in fairness I am most definitely NOT looking.
I look at women all the time. I usually sit in the coffee shop at lunchtime and watch the endless stream of people passing, diving my attention between my book and the hotties 🙂
Then again, I am having the nicest time being single. The best part is that I get zero hassle for the amount of time and money I spend on my bikes, I can walk the dog for as long as I want (and let her snooze on my bed) and I can talk to men without any jealous outbursts. I can eat what I want when I want. Go to bed when I want and get up when I want. Drink or not as I please. Go on holiday when and where I want. If I crash the car I'm not going to get into trouble. I don't have anyone's ego to massage or insecurities to prop up.
an interesting declaration, but I would never let a relationship interfere with my behaving like that 🙂
LOL @ SFB
I look at, and appreciate, the female form all the time too. It's probably down to being a heterosexual male with a pulse. I draw the line at photographing their bums though and rely on my memory, but I guess when you get to your age Simon..........................
.... 😉 😆
but I guess when you get to your age Simon
listen, I like to share my enjoyment :o)
Minty sounds like the wrong time for you to be looking. Looking for lookings sake because society says its normal to be with someone.
Contact the two dates and say you'll still meet them but only for no-strings sex.
listen, I like to share my enjoyment :o)
Your work does not go unappreciated 😉
bravohotel9er - Member
I'd just quite like to meet a girl who didn't already have a boyfriend
I agree. I much prefer it when I am the ONLY girlfriend in the relationship, just the two of us, thanks.
I'm sure none of you really give a damn, but my date actually went realy well. I even got a little goodnight kiss at the end of the night, and seeing her again on Sunday...
I even Washed my nob beforehand as well, but to be honest, I'm glad it wasn't needed...
I even Washed my nob beforehand as well, but to be honest, I'm glad it wasn't needed..
The equalivent of a girl shaving her legs..