My last post:

Check out this twitter thread Kryton 👍🏻 It’s really insightful into what you are going through I think.

THREAD: When I was in high school I was a running phenom.

Then I largely failed.

Here are lessons for the driven that I wish I knew when I was obsessively training and neglecting just about everything else:

— Steve Magness (@stevemagness) February 4, 2021

I’ve always thought of it as cyclist = someone who rides a bike.
Athlete = Someone who would do an interval session on the turbo on a sunny day because that is what is written in their training plan.

To me those two are ‘cyclist’ and ‘keen cyclist’. ‘Training’ sessions for turbos are 10 a penny now with Strava, Trainer road, GCN etc – it’s practically entertainment with some of the interactive systems.

That post from Crosshair sums it up for me.

You are either a top athlete and truly at the top of your game or then mediocre.

I’m lucky enough to have been international standard at a sport and loved every minute of that and used cycling and running as training for it, which left me with a life long passion for running and cycling

However I always knew I was never going to be great at those sports, other people people had far far more natural talent

Occasionally I’ve trained hard and done some amazing races ie 3 Peaks, coming mid/late field. For me though the sacrifices to normal life were not worth it in the grand scheme of things. One of my favourite runs ever was just a pootle that turned in to a 20 mile epic in Snowdonia, but it wasn’t training.

I’m now 48, been told I can no longer run. I really miss running. I bike but not as often as I used to. But overall I am more content with life. I enjoy doing sport for fun, not because I have to, I enjoy being lazy. I enjoy doing other things. I look at friends in their late 40’s trying to still achieve and it looks like they are enjoying but hating every minute of it

I do miss not being able to have the fitness just to ride a bike anywhere or run up a big hill

Its a true midlife crisis thing and not easy to decide when to come off the treadmill.

Crosshair thanks – that thread and the authors website is very useful!

Letting my hair down at the kids rugby tour with the other dads last night was an eye opener. This context came up, sense of identity came up as it did in this thread and although I’m still processing, and despite a late night and mild hangover I’m feeling better – brighter – this morning.

Hi mate.
The Hope marathons thread illustrated perfectly what you can gain from letting go of the need for results.
I’ll still ride hard and push myself on the Builth marathon on Sunday but I’m also going to do a massive day on Saturday at BPW. The simple act of not worrying about a number on a results sheet has freed me to create a fantastic weekend of mountain biking.

Offer’s still there for a chat. Not to try persuade you to do anything, but to talk about the bereavement process that comes from letting go of something that has dominated every waking hour of your thoughts for many years. I’m not even being melodramatic. It’s really hard.

You’re right on that donut.

When I quit motorbike racing I felt like I’d lost my identity, what had defined me for many years. It didn’t matter I was rubbish, it just was ‘me’. All my time, effort, money, was racing motorbikes. I didn’t know who I was any more and took a while to shake the loss of adrenaline and pushing.

Happily it also brought a lack of pressure and more enjoyment from things, I could breathe again.

It’s a trap I’m doing my best to ensure my lad doesn’t fall into.

Thanks RD, I’m still up for a chat, I’m just getting the family hols done. We have the bikes with us, and I actually enjoyed replacing jockey wheels on Jnrs and putting race tyres back on mine yesterday. He went out alone this morning and actually watch him ride down the steps from our holiday cottage with a “wheeeee” was a bit cathartic.

The Builth decision was mostly about driving Friday>Tuesday which would be Bedfordshire>London>Builth>London>Gloucester>London. No thanks.

I’ll marshal the kids races on Sunday at Beastway before racing GV’s with no expectations as I’m not fit or strong enough to compete with that crowd at XCO currently, then in the afternoon I’m off to see my 9yo daughter swim her first competitive race. A more fun type of day.

With the break I’m having I am leaning towards a month of training before Torq in your sleep in May being something I’d enjoy rather than hate.

I gave up racing a few years ago, I sometimes think I may take it up again but really cannot be bothered (I am 49).

I now cycle purely for enjoyment, I take a camera and enjoy stopping to photograph flowers/insects/scenery etc.

I remember chatting to someone at my club when I was a teen racing, he was a very competitive racer and he told me he had given it up and just rides enjoying the scenery and being out on his bike instead of hammering around with his head down.

I seem to have eventually arrived at the same viewpoint.